Page 11 of Save Me

I wake to a rhythmic tap, thump-crack, thunk. I consider that I might have dreamt it until it repeats. And repeats yet again. My body is still drained but my brain has engaged, so there won’t be any going back to sleep now, no matter how much I’d like to. I open my eyes and try to determine the time. Sunlight is at a much lower angle than when I stumbled into bed, and I guess it’s early evening, though I can’t be sure. I stare at the ceiling, feeling every day of my thirty-seven years. The annoying sounds continue, getting on my very last nerve, so I fling the comforter aside with a groan and slip from the bed. The noise is coming from outside, so I step to the window and pull the sheers aside.

“Fuuuuck.” Naked from the waist up, sweat rolling down his back, the late afternoon light playing along his flexing muscles in the most delicious ways, Jamie swings an ax overhead then pulls it down to bury the blade in a log. It’s a mouthwatering vision that has my body reacting with a speed I’d have thought impossible given how tired I still am. I will most assuredly be jerking off to this memory for the foreseeable future. Who’d have guessed that I have a thing for outdoorsmen? I press the heel of my palm against my already half-hard cock and try to think of a distraction.

Jamie sets the ax aside and bends to pick up the smaller logs, giving me a magnificent view of his perfect ass in the process, and I whimper. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose just to torment me. He tosses the wood onto a pile and leans down to set another log in place, repeating the entire arousing process from start to finish. I steady myself against the window frame as the blood rushes from my brain and fills my painfully aching cock. “Fucking hell, Deputy Marshal, you’re trying to kill me.” I can’t tear my eyes away, palming my cock and watching for another few minutes before I begin to feel a little creepy. He’s not mine to ogle, and he never can be. I need a cold shower. Now.

My duffel is still on the floor where I’d dropped it, and I turn away from the window with a groan, taking the few steps needed to snatch it up from the floor. I dig out my toiletry case and toss the duffel onto the bed, then head to the bathroom where I promptly strip out of my boxer briefs, collect my shampoo and body wash, turn on the shower, and step directly under the cold spray with a gasp. The shock of the ice-cold deluge immediately shifts my body’s focus from my erection to my lungs as I gasp for air.

Once I’m confident I have myself under control, I turn on the hot water and let the warmth reverse the tension the cold had created. I pour a bit of shampoo into my palm and massage it through my hair. The suds gently roll down my body, teasing my skin, reminding me of the little rivulets of sweat that trickled down Jamie’s back as his muscles rippled in the evening sun. Shit!

My erection comes roaring back, and I’m achingly hard again. By the time I rinse my hair and begin to wash my body, I’ve given up all pretense of ignoring my erection. I squirt a bit of body gel into my palm and wrap my hand around my cock, stroking hard and fast. This will not take long. None of my prior fantasies of Jamie’s gorgeous body, sweaty and glistening, could compare to the reality I just witnessed. Yes. I’ve jerked off to thoughts of him before. Admittedly, I hadn’t done him justice. He obviously needs a better tailor for his suits because they do not tell the full story. I groan low and throaty; my pleasure ramping up quickly as I imagine what he looks like completely naked; how his cock would feel in my hand, on my tongue, thrusting into me. I tug firmly on my balls and gasp as my hips jerk and my orgasm slams through me, my knees buckling with the intensity.

I snap my eyes open and grab for the towel rack to steady myself, gulping down lungfuls of air as I stroke through the last waves of pleasure. It’s a few moments before I can do more than keep myself upright. I turn to face the spray again, rinse off, and let the evidence of my activity run down the drain. I inhale deeply, actually feeling significantly better than I have in days. I turn off the shower and grab a towel, rubbing myself vigorously as I carefully step out of the ridiculous tub.

The thumping from outside has stopped, and I can hear Jamie moving around downstairs, talking. I throw on a pair of khakis and a gray V-neck T-shirt, brush my teeth and drag a brush through my hair, then twist the wet strands into a low knot. There’s no way I can manage eyeliner right now. I’m likely to poke myself in the eye if I try. I stare into the mirror and mentally shrug, too tired to worry what Jamie will think when he sees me like this. “It will have to do.”

Jamie

“Really, Ma, it’s not like that. He’s a friend.” The snort on the other end of the phone tells me she’s not buying it.

“Seumas Fraser MacDougall, you should not lie to your mother.” I wince. I really shouldn’t. But is it a lie? Ashley and I aren’t together, as much as I’d like us to be. I can’t cross that line, no matter how strong my feelings are for him. Once that door is open there is no closing it, and Ashley needs to go back into WITSEC. I need him to be safe.

“Ma.” My sentence comes to a halt as I catch movement from the corner of my eye and turn to see Ashley coming down the stairs. He’s showered but hasn’t bothered with the usual meticulous attention to his appearance. His hair is still damp, and he’s dressed in comfortable clothes that give him a relaxed and approachable appearance. I’m speechless because in my experience, Ashley never lets anyone see him looking less than perfect. Not that he isn’t gorgeous right now, because he is. But for him to come downstairs with bare feet, no eyeliner, and his hair not perfectly styled is huge. I know how much trust this took and I’m incredibly touched. It’s also the first time I can clearly see the many tattoos on his arms. It’s all highly detailed art deco designs in black ink work and they are beautiful, and sexy as hell.

He smiles tentatively, like he’s worried about my reaction, and it kills me. He looks so vulnerable. I want to take him in my arms and hold him tightly, tell him how brave I think he is. I’m not sure he’d appreciate my mentioning it, though. He’s always been prickly about his appearance. Instead, I smile encouragingly and hope it’s enough.

“Jamie, are you still there?”

I snap my attention back to the call. “Yeah, sorry, Ma. Anyway, you’re jumping to conclusions.”

“Jamie, if this were just a friend, you wouldn’t care if one of us popped in to see you. Since you do care, there is only one conclusion that makes any sense. This is a romantic situation, and you want some privacy. There’s nothing wrong with that, love.”

It’s a losing battle and I give up. “Okay, fine, Ma. You figured it out.” With a sigh of defeat, I lean against the sink and rub my eyes with my free hand. Yes, it’s another lie, but it’s better than telling her the truth, which would just endanger everyone. And is it actually a lie if I’d like it to be the truth? I glance at Ashley, wondering how he’ll react. My pulse races. “He’s more than just a friend.”

“Jamie, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you! Where did you meet?”

I love my mother. I do. But sometimes I wish she didn’t care so much about what her children were up to. “Well, about that.”

It only takes seconds for her to put the bits of information I’ve given her together. “Oh my goodness, is this the man you were telling me about? Your supermodel?”

I groan internally but can’t help the smile that appears on my face. Ashley would love to hear my mother call him a supermodel. This is so not a good idea. I should end the conversation now, but it’s safer if I spin the story to give her the least amount of information while placating her enough to keep her and everyone else away. “Yeah. It’s the guy I was telling you about, Ma.” Ashley leans against the doorframe, cocks an eyebrow at me and smirks while mouthingyou told your mother about me?“He’s back in the area and we reconnected.” I can’t help but grin back at him and shrug. Guilty as charged.

“Oh, how nice!” Yep. She’s definitely excited. “What’s your man’s name?”

My man.I glance at Ashley, and an ache settles in my chest. I wish he were mine. “His name?” Shit. What am I going to tell her? Then I realize it doesn’t matter what I tell her, because she’s never going to meet him. Might as well go with the truth. “Ashley.”

“Like Gone with the Wind!”

I shake my head and laugh. My mother adores old movies, and that’s one of her favorites. “Exactly.” I grin and wink at Ashley. “Just like Gone with the Wind.” He rolls his eyes like he’s heard that a million times. Before she can ask anything else, I steer the conversation back to safe territory. “Hey, Ma, I promise I’ll tell you all about him later, but right now we’re costing Da a small fortune in SAT phone charges. I just wanted to tell you we’re here. Would you let everyone else know? I don’t want surprise visitors. None of us will be happy if that happens.” Let her think what she wants about that.

“Good grief, Jamie, I gave birth to and raised five children. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d walked in on one of youin flagrante delicto.” Amusement is clear in her voice. “At least you, Cam and Fiona attempted to be stealthy about it. Kenna didn’t even try to hide anything, and Quinn just followed her lead. There isn’t much you could get up to that would shock me.”

That’s not true, and the conversation has taken yet another turn I’m not mentally prepared for. “Ma! I don’t care what you’ve seen!” Ashley snorts, and I glare at him. He waggles his eyebrows, and against my will, I chuckle. This conversation with my mother may scar me for life, but I can see the humor in it.

“Seumas, do not sass me.”

“Sorry, Ma. I didn’t mean to. But I do have to go, so please, keep everyone away for a few weeks.”

“Alright, love. But I want to meet him. Next time you visit? We promise not to embarrass you. Much.”

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