Page 27 of Save Me

I can’t remember ever being this happy. I drag my fingers through my hair to detangle it, but that’s about all I can manage after having my world so thoroughly rocked. By the time I pull on a pair of old jeans and a gray V-neck tee, my fine motor skills return enough to pull on my socks and boots. The bedroom smells of sex and Ash, and it’s too perfect. I don’t want this to end. I glance over at him and I push away the thoughts of him leaving again, not ready to deal with it right now, praying I’ll be ready when it happens.

9

Ash

“Duncan. What’s the situation?” I set the breakfast dishes in the sink as Jamie’s face closes off, and my stomach drops. “Okay. I’m assuming it’ll be the usual protocol?” There’s another long pause. “I’m not sure. We’ll have to talk about it and let you know. But if you can get us the options, it would help.” Jamie smiles at me and I walk across the kitchen to slip my arm around his waist. “No, you’ve been a tremendous help, Duncan. I’ll call you when we have a plan.” Jamie nods at whatever Duncan says and ends the call before turning to me.

“Well, as you heard, that was Duncan. And there’s good news and bad news.” Jamie sets the phone on the counter and pulls me against him.

I don’t hesitate to step close and lean into his warmth. “Good news.”

His chuckle makes me smile. “I didn’t even ask which you wanted first.”

“But you were going to ask, and I prefer to hear good news first. That way if it’s amazing news I’ll be properly amazed. But if I hear the bad news first, then the amazing news will only be good news at best. So, I want the best possible feeling from the positive news before I hear the bad.” I look expectantly at him.

“Why does that actually make sense?” I pinch Jamie on the arm. “Ouch! Alright! Alright!” I settle against his chest and wait. “Duncan’s going to help us figure out what our options are, so we don’t have to spend the rest of our lives living in the Mount Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest.”

I smile softly and rub my palm across his chest. “I don’t know. It’s been pretty good so far, except the no electricity thing, and the nearest grocery store and laundromat are a forty-five-minute drive away.”

Jamie leans in and kisses me softly. “It’s been some of the very best days of my life.” My insides go a little melty at that because I was thinking the same thing. “So, what’s the bad news?”

“I forgot to tell you before. It’s confirmed. The cartel has traced you to your San Francisco identity, so you can’t go back.” Ice-cold dread grips me and I can’t catch my breath. It was a possibility, but the reality of them having current information about me is terrifying. “The Marshals will break your lease and give usual cover stories to your friends and co-workers. They’re now off-limits, Ash. Then they’ll send a team to pack up your stuff and put it in storage for us.”

“Us?” My head snaps up and I stare at him. Surely it was a grammatical error. A slip of the tongue.

“Us. If that’s alright.” Jamie’s blushing, but his gaze never falters, and his arms are firmly settled around me. I’m stunned.

It takes me a full minute to do more than open and close my mouth as I try to remember how to speak. “Jamie, they’re not after you. You don’t need to run. The cartel isn’t aware of your connection to me. You have parents, your entire family, a job and…”

“Ash.” Jamie pulls me closer until our foreheads are resting together. “Do you honestly think now that I finally have you, I’m ever letting you go again? I thought about you every day for over a year. I tried to pretend I could move on and find someone else, but I couldn’t. I seriously considered calling you at least a dozen times, or just showing up and telling you how I felt, but I wasn’t sure where you were, or if you felt the same. And you deserved some peace after everything you’d sacrificed.”

I hear the words coming out of Jamie’s mouth, but none of them makes sense. “You wanted to find me?” I fiddle with the seam of Jamie’s T-shirt and try to remember how to breathe.

“Yes.”

I stare up into his eyes. “You thought about me every day?” I sound needy, and I hate it, but damn it, I need to know!

Jamie smiles and squeezes me. “Every day. At least once, but usually more. I wondered what you were doing, and if you ever thought about me. I imagined what we’d be like together if you hadn’t had to leave.”

I am beyond shocked, and part of me doesn’t quite believe this is all real. “You imagined us together? Like,togethertogether?”

Jamie frowns, his body stiff and wary. “Didn’t you?”

I must be in shock, or oxygen deprived, because without hesitation I tell him what I’ve wanted to say for over a year. “My entire existence revolved around thinking about you. I replayed every day we had together in my head. I wondered if you’d like Ashley Patel more than you liked Ashley Pandey.”

Jamie smiles and I feel him relax. “And is Ashley Patel so different from Ashley Pandey?”

I nod emphatically. “Oh yes. Very. Ashley Pandey had a lot of baggage. He was lonely, and bitter and honestly, probably a danger to himself. Ashley Pandey wasn’t a very happy man.”

Strong arms tighten around me, and I see the concern in Jamie’s eyes. “And what about Ashley Patel?”

“He had family, though most were conveniently living in India.” Jamie raises his brows and I shrug. “It made it easier to explain why no family was around.” I smile and continue. “He was an openly gay man, loved and accepted by his fictitious family, living in a highly tolerant, if not warmly embracing city which he grew to love. Ashley Patel had friends and a much happier life than Ashley Pandey.”

“Ash, no matter what your name, you’re still you.” Jamie brushes his palm against the thick stubble along my jaw. I have decided to grow the mustache back, but this time I’m going to add a beard. It’s funny what your brain fixates on when in shock. “You can call yourself whatever you want and I will still love you.”

My brain stutters to a halt, and I just stare at him. “You love me?”

Jamie’s smile is incandescent. “Yes, Ash, I love you. And I’minlove with you. I have been for a while.”

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