Page 8 of Save Me

Nervously, I scan the parking lot of the strip mall for the millionth time, just as an SUV pulls into the space next to me. My heart hammers in my chest and my lungs forget how to work, but then I recognize Jamie’s profile in the driver’s seat and breathe. I could cry with relief, but I’m tired of crying. Really, I’m just tired. So. Incredibly. Tired. I open my car door and barely place my foot on the asphalt before Jamie yanks me out of the car and crushes me to his chest. “Jesus, Ashley, you had me worried.”

I close my eyes and melt against him, pressing my nose into the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar citrus of his cologne and feeling safe for the first time since San Francisco. Before I think about what I’m doing, I wind my arms around his waist and cling to him. Without hesitation he holds me tighter like I’m something precious, and for a moment I pretend I am. I’ve missed him, and just how much hits me like a ton of bricks. I want to laugh and cry. Surely it’s wrong to be so happy and grateful to be in his arms given everything that’s happened. I should have known the moment wouldn’t last.

“Seriously, Ashley! Do you have a death wish? Wasn’t this all explained in your orientation? You can’t go back to your old life. Not if you want to survive.” I’m not sure he realizes that he’s still clutching me tightly. I’m not going to point it out. If he wants to yell at me, this is a very enjoyable way to endure it.

Unfortunately, Jamie lets me go and steps back, starting to pace in front of my car. “It’s not safe for you in Seattle.” He stops and looks at me. “It’s not safe for you to go back to wherever you live now.”

Fuck. I hadn’t considered that. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around this latest bit of information as Jamie’s anger winds down. His pacing stops, and he takes a huge breath, letting it out slowly. I copy him, looking for a little calm of my own. “I understand. But Jamie, Oliver is dying. At most he has a few weeks left.” I reach out and grasp Jamie’s forearm, squeezing gently. “I had to try to see him. He’s like a brother to me. We grew up together.” I’m tearing up again, now that the adrenaline is receding, and I’m furious that of all people, I can never seem to hold my shit together in front of Jamie. “I couldn’t let him think he was completely alone.”

Jamie sighs and nods. “It’s done. Now we just deal with the fallout.” I can see the wheels spinning in his head. “Okay. Here’s the plan. We’re leaving your car here. If it’s ticketed and towed, then it’ll be well hidden. If it’s not, and the cartel finds it somehow, they’ll think you’re here in Burlington, and that will distract them for a while. You’re going to give me your cell phone, and I’ll drive us to a safe location about two-and-a-half hours from here. Understand?”

I’m not thrilled about being without my cell phone, or leaving my BMW M850 in a public parking lot, but I have little choice. I’m the one who asked him for help. Grudgingly, I hand over my phone. Jamie pops the cards out of their slots and opens the passenger side door of his Land Rover. I hear the latch of the glove box release followed by the sound of scissors snipping and I try not to flinch as I think of the data I’m losing. I suppose it’s better than losing the phone. My mouth drops open in horror as Jamie comes back around the door and snaps my phone in half. I am appalled! I’m also a little turned on by the ridiculous display of strength, but mostly stunned at the demise of my very expensive phone. “Do you know how much that cost?”

“Should’a thought of that before you called Oliver on it.” He jogs across the parking lot to one of the public trash cans that line the sidewalk, and tosses the pieces of the phone into it before jogging back. “Now if they’ve been tracking your cell, the signal will end here.”

A wave of nausea washes over me. I hadn’t even considered that. “You mean they might be able to find me here?” Here, where I’ve been idly waiting for Jamie like an easy target.

“Maybe. Which is why we need to get on the road.” He takes my arm and looks into my eyes, as though he’s making sure I’m not in shock. “You gonna be okay?”

I jerk my arm out of his grasp. “Yes.” I’m embarrassed and pissed off. I should have thought of the possibility that they could track me. Not that it would have changed much. At least I no longer want to cry. I’m too angry. At myself, but also at Jamie, for talking to me like I’m a child. I refuse to let him see my discomfort, though. I sniff and square my shoulders before opening my back car door and grabbing my duffel. “I’m fine. Lead on.” I spin on my heels and slide into the passenger seat of his car, determined not to show any further weakness.

It’s about a forty-minute drive to Concrete, Washington, and then another twenty on Baker Lake Road to the start of the National Forest. The further we drive, the fewer signs of civilization there are, until the only thing I see are trees and more trees. We’re in the middle of nowhere.

Jamie pulls off into a gravel lot that holds a half dozen other vehicles. Once he’s parked his Land Rover, I fling the door open and propel myself out of the car with a groan, rubbing my ass as I try to massage feeling back into it. “I don’t think I ever want to sit down again. My ass is sore. And not in a good way.” Exhaustion has me working up a good rant. “My eyes have more sand than the Sahara.” I throw up my hands. “My entire body aches! How can riding in the car be so difficult?” That’s when I notice Jamie is leaning against his vehicle, trying not to laugh. Fuck. Why does he have to be so gorgeous? Bastard. I glare and point at him. “How can you find the situation so amusing? The only thing we had to listen to was a radio station specializing in a musical style that rhymes with crap, or twenty-seven stations of static.”

He shoves himself off of his car and saunters over to me, confident and at ease. Who is this man, and what has he done with Deputy Marshal MacDougall? “I’m sorry my old as fuck 1990 Land Rover doesn’t have Bluetooth capability like your very new and beautiful BMW.” I try not to let the surprise show on my face, because the Jamie MacDougall I knew never swore. Not that I mind. Actually, I find it kind of hot. I must succeed at masking my shock because he smiles and gestures vaguely in my direction. “You can stretch your legs for a minute or two, but we really should get moving so we can settle in before it gets dark.”

I raise an eyebrow at him and glance at the sky. “Dark? It’s only noon.” My stomach growls, but I don’t want to mention how hungry I am. I’ve already made a spectacle of myself.

Jamie grins, eyes sparkling with humor, and my knees go weak. Damn him! I remind myself that I am currently angry about my phone, even though he continues to ignore my annoyance. “We have another hour in the car, then we have to unload everything and put it away, gather firewood, probably dust off a few things, put linens on the beds, and at some point, make dinner.” He opens the back of the Rover and I see boxes and grocery bags as well as several coolers. Jamie opens one of the bags. “Here, eat this.” He hands me a sandwich and then a bottle of water.

I eye the sandwich skeptically. “What kind is it?” I sound like I’m four and Jamie laughs, taking a bite of his own.

“Peanut butter and jelly. And I have some bananas as well.”

I shrug like I don’t care, but my mouth is watering as I open the baggie. “What kind of jelly?”

“Raspberry.”

“Oh.” Just like that, all of my snark dissolves. Raspberry is my favorite. Jamie remembered. I glance at him and notice little changes that I’d missed earlier. His hair is a bit longer, and the blond waves have turned into soft curls that are slightly messy from riding with the window open, his amber eyes sparkle brightly with amusement, but it’s his open, sweet smile, such a rarity before, now so easy, that has my heart racing.

He winks at me and jerks his head toward the Land Rover. “C’mon. You can eat in my car.”

I try to process this new Jamie MacDougall, who swears and winks and smiles. He’s confident and solid, just as I remember him, but he’s also relaxed and human, almost playful. If I were an emoji, I’d have heart eyes right now.

I take a bite of the sandwich and walk toward the passenger side of the car, then climb in. “I can do some of those things you mentioned, so you don’t have to do them all yourself. I still can’t cook, and I don’t know the first thing about firewood, except don’t collect the green stuff, but I can dust, and make beds, and help unload the car.”

Jamie puts his hand on his chest and opens his mouth wide, eyebrows in his hairline. “You know how to dust?”

I harrumph at his sarcasm and try not to smile. “Yes, I know how to dust.” Jamie puts the car into drive and pulls out of the lot, heading along a one-lane dirt road that meanders off into the forest. “I could have afforded a cleaning person in San Francisco, but given the circumstances, and a one-bedroom loft, it seemed excessive and indulgent.” I sigh and slump against the seat. “I also didn’t like the thought of giving a stranger access to my apartment.”

Jamie glances over, sympathy clear in his eyes, and I fight the urge to touch him and ask him to hold my hand. To keep occupied, I concentrate on eating the sandwich. How is it this man makes me feel so safe and so off-kilter? It’s as though no time has passed and I’m just as in danger of falling in love with him as I was a year ago. With the circumstances no different than they were, the prospect is no more appealing. I’ll still have to leave, and I’m still not sure what he feels for me. Something must show on my face because his brows draw together. “You okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tease you.”

I nod and sit up taller, unsure how to act. “Yes. I’m fine.” There is no way I’m telling him what’s going on in my head right now. That would be an utter disaster. “I was just thinking about everything I left behind in San Francisco.”

He glances over at me. “Is that where you were? San Francisco?”

“Yes.” I nod and finish my sandwich before continuing. I’m not sure how much I should say, or how much he’d want to hear. Does he really care? Or is he just being polite? “I have a pleasant life there, just like you said I would. I have a great job, a lovely apartment, beautiful clothes, and I’ve even managed to fool a few people into being my friend.” I grin, trying to show I’m joking about the friends. Mostly.

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