Page 17 of Choose Me

My pulse races. “What do you mean?” Why do I bother? Astrid has always seen right through me.

“You’ve been gone for almost fifteen years, and no amount of cajoling has convinced you to move home. Not from me, not from Stef, most definitely not from Bjorn or Gunnar.” She rolls her eyes in sympathetic exasperation. “Though I totally get that.” She leans in and holds my gaze. “So what’s changed? It’s certainly not this offer, because good opportunity or not, you don’t need the money.” She drops her hands to the table, worry creasing her brow. “You don’t, do you?”

Her concern warms my heart. “No. I don’t need the money.” I nudge her arm. “If Ineededthe money, I wouldn’t have the money to invest, would I?”

“I suppose not.” She narrows her bright blue eyes at me. “So my original question stands.”

I fiddle with my water glass and even get a few more minutes of reprieve as Dominic brings our food, setting the plates down as unobtrusively as possible before silently retreating from the table. When I can’t delay any more, I blurt it out. “Jules.”

“Ha!” I glance up, not sure I like her smug tone, but at least she’s grinning.

I try not to smile, but thinking about him makes it impossible. “What?”

“I always thought there might be something there. He’s incredibly shy, but you’ve always been especially kind and considerate of what would make him comfortable.”

I roll my eyes. “He’s my best friend’s younger brother. Of course I’m going to be considerate of him. And he has social anxiety, not shyness. One is a treatable but medical condition, and the other is a personality trait. Not that either would be an issue. Plus, he’s really sweet, kind, and smart.” I wish Jules could see how amazing he is. “Sometimes he forgets that.”

“Ho-ly shit!” Embarrassed, I glance around the restaurant, but no one seems to have noticed her outburst. She stares at me, her mouth open. “You’re serious about him.”

I don’t say anything for a long moment, and Astrid gleefully waits for my reply. My instinct is to deny it, but this is Astrid. She’s always been able to read me like a book. Plus she’s happy for me. “Yeah.”

“Is he serious about you?”

“Yeah. But I’ve known about that for years. I just never acted on it because of Stef.”

She nods. “It was obvious Jules had a crush on you back in high school.”

“Obvious to everyone but me.” I scratch my jaw sheepishly and admit my cluelessness. “I only found out because he got tipsy at my college graduation party and spilled the beans in the most adorable, rambling, drunken confession.” The memory of him tucked against me, his hands gently caressing my face, has parts of me stirring that shouldn’t. At least not in a restaurant in front of my sister.

She leans in, eyes lit with interest. “Oh, I need the details now, and I can’t believe you never told me about this!”

“Nah. That’s between me and Jules. I would never want a moment of weakness to turn into anything that would embarrass or humiliate him.”

“I wouldn’t tell.” Astrid frowns, but she doesn’t press.

“I know, but still. I should ask him if it’s okay to tell you.” I take a minute to work up to telling her my other dilemma. “And there isn’t anything going on between us. There can’t be.”

She frowns and stops with her fork halfway to her mouth. “Why?”

I sigh and push my food around my plate. “Why do you think?” She gives me a blank look. “Stef? It could ruin either or both of our relationships with him.”

She puts down her fork, giving me all of her attention. “You think that’s a possibility? Stef loves both of you to pieces. Why wouldn’t he want to see you two together if it makes both of you happy?”

“I don’t know, but he’s definitely against it. That night that Jules spilled the beans? Stef was adamant Jules was off-limits.”

“Oh, really?” She sounds pissed off for me, and it makes me feel slightly better.

“Okay, so I need to give you some background.” I finish chewing and set down my silverware. “You already know Jules has had social anxiety since he was little, and he doesn’t do well in situations where he’s by himself with people he doesn’t know.” She nods. Gunnar and Astrid were in the same grade as Jules, so she’s been aware for years. “At my party, he’d wandered away from Quinn and Stef. I found him in the game room practically sitting in the dog bed with Shelby tucked against him, guarding him.” He’d been so adorable, leaning into her soft fur and whispering things to her. I’d given her extra treats for being such an excellent protector. “I tried to help him upstairs, but he was having trouble, so I picked him up and carried him out of the house.”

She raises one eyebrow at me, like she knows I’ve left something out, but Jules deserves my discretion. “Let’s just say Stef wasn’t happy. At all. He ordered me to set Jules down, but there was no way. If I had, Jules would’ve dropped like a rock. So, I settled him in the backseat of Stef’s car and strapped him in.” The butterflies in my stomach are as potent now as when he mumbled his tipsy confession. But sometimes I wish he hadn’t said a word. It wouldn’t be so difficult to stay away from him.

“Then what happened?”

Astrid’s question pulls me out of my head and I give her a wan smile. “I went back to explain things to Stef. Bottom line, he told me not to encourage Jules’ crush. That I would only hurt him, and then Stef would have to kill me.”

Her expression is a cross between incredulity and humor. “I’m sorry, he what?”

“You know Stef. But he meant it. He was absolutely sincere, and only calmed down after he decided it was all a joke and I told him I wasn’t interested in Jules like that.”

---