Page 26 of Choose Me

“Really?”

“Maybe? See, this is why I didn’t tell you. Because I keep thinking maybe I imagined it all, or read too much into him pretending to be my date. But there was this moment—”

“You had a moment?” Quinn’s voice is about two octaves higher than normal.

I sigh. “A pause? I don’t know. A something. And then Erik was staring at my mouth, and he dragged his thumb over my lip—”

Quinn slams his mug on the counter, excitement written all over his face. “He what? No shit! I knew it! He’s totally into you, Jules.” Quinn does a little fist pump and then waves me to go on. “Sorry, continue.”

I laugh, because seeing Quinn’s excitement is all too contagious and I start to believe maybe Erik is into me. “Well, then the stupid ‘getting to know you’ activity was supposed to happen, and things started to spiral, but Erik put his forehead against mine, held my face, and breathed with me.”

Quinn’s grin is a mile wide and his reactions have my stomach fluttering and my hopes way too high. “So, he walked me out to my car and kissed me on the cheek. No question about that. Then he told me to drive safely and text him when I got home. Which I did. And then at bowling he kepthelpingme, and there was definitely flirting.”

“You guys were laughing a lot.”

I chew on my lower lip and fiddle with my mug. “And then last night he texted me to say good night, and we texted until about two this morning.”

I shout as Quinn hauls me off the counter into a hug so tight I’m worried my ribs might break. “He is so into you, Jules. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, and I’m so happy for you.” I make a strangled squeaking noise, and he laughs, letting me go. “It’s such great news!” There’s a note of relief in his voice, but I’m not sure if it’s because he knows my decades-long unrequited crush might finally be requited, or because he’s feeling guilty he hasn’t been around much lately. Not that I blame him. If I had a hot boyfriend with a jacuzzi and a swimming pool, I’d stay at his place too. “Okay, so that explains the blush and tiredness.” He nudges me. “Why aren’t you more excited?”

I shrug. “I am excited. But, what about Stef?”

Quinn looks confused. “What about Stef?”

I groan and press the heels of my hands against my eye sockets. “You know he’s against this. He has been for years.Youwere the one who told me what he said!”

“Yeah. No doubt. He was pissed that Erik had you in his arms. And you were very obviously hanging all over him.”

I drop my hands and frown at him. “Thanks for that reminder.”

“No problem.” Quinn grins at me, and I roll my eyes.

“Look. Erik has been Stef’s best friend since sixth grade. If Erik and I give whatever this is between us a try, and it ends badly, we could really hurt each other. But worse than that, it could ruin their friendship, possibly permanently. And that could damage my relationship with Stef. I can’t imagine he’d be happy with me for being selfish about this.”

“No!” I jump, startled by his intensity. “You don’t get to put yourself last, Jules. I won’t let you. You always make sure everyone else is happy, even if it means you’re not. And it isn’t happening this time.”

I shake my head. “I don’t.”

He points his finger at me. “Yes, you do. Whenever we decide to go out, you let everyone else pick where we go, even though you’re the one who should have the biggest vote. Iknowsometimes the only reason you’re out with us is because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. Mostly Stef.“ I open my mouth to deny it again, but Quinn doesn’t let me speak. “You deserve this, Jules. You’ve been in love with Erik for decades. Decades! And he’sintoyou. You need to grab this with both hands and see where it goes.”

I stare at Quinn, wanting to do exactly that, but what if it results in everyone I love getting hurt?

Quinn hugs me. “Do you actually think it would ruin their friendship? Because I don’t.” Honestly, I’m not sure what to think. My mind is a whirlwind and my heart is conflicted in the worst possible way. Quinn sighs.

“Okay, let’s just say the worst happens and you and Erik try dating, and things don’t work out. Let’s even say it lasts for years, and then you break up. Do you honestly think either of you would make that breakup so awful that Stef would have to choose sides? Because I don’t. Neither of you is any good at confrontation. It would be the most amicable breakup in the history of breakups. You’d probably thank each other. Not to mention their friendship survived fourteen years of living in different states. They’ve had each other’s backs through horrible shit, and I don’t think that’s going to change.”

He makes sense, but I’m still not sure. “You know how overprotective Stef is. If anybody looks at me sideways, he’s all up in their business. It’d be no different with Erik.”

Quinn laughs. “That’s true. But my point stands. Neither of you would let things get so toxic that you couldn’t be adults about a breakup. And Stef should be able to respect that and see both sides. If Erik was a complete dick to you, that’d be one thing. But that’s not Erik. That’s not who he is. I don’t see him ever doing that.”

I don’t either. He’s too sweet. “Okay, that’s probably true, but I’m still not sure I’m willing to take the risk.”

Quinn grabs my shoulders and stares at me until I look him in the eyes. “Are you not sure because you don’t want to risk making Stef upset, or are you not sure because you don’t want to risk yourself?”

Well, shit. Once again, Quinn narrows in on the problem and doesn’t pull punches. “I… I don’t know.” I shake out my hands. “I’ve never done this before.”

Quinn’s eyes soften, and he squeezes my shoulders. “Yeah, but as long as I’ve known you, there are only two things you’ve ever really wanted. One is to get rid of your anxiety, and you’ve made amazing progress. The other has always been Erik. Shit, Jules, you’ve been in love with him on some level since you were a kid. Are you actually going to stand here and tell me you won’t grab this opportunity with both hands and hold on for dear life?”

My emotions are all over the place, making it difficult to breathe. “Well, we’re assuming he’s interested.”

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