Page 28 of Choose Me

Bjorn shoves my arm lightly. “Why are you so shocked?” He pulls the baking sheet from the oven and carefully spoons each perfectly browned meatball into the gravy. “I make this all the time.” My stomach growls again, and he grins. “Hungry?”

“Starving!” It’s about then that I remember my manners. “Can I help with anything?”

Bjorn shakes his head. “No, you timed this perfectly. Gunnar’s going to drain the potatoes, and we’ll dish everything up. We’re almost ready to eat.”

“You can help me set the table.” Astrid gets up and walks to various cupboards, pulling out plates and glasses, and I grab the silverware. We carry everything into the dining room and lay out the place settings. Her blue eyes sparkle conspiratorially. “So how are things?”

I make sure nobody is eavesdropping, since what she’s actually asking is how things are with Jules. “Good. I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page.” It would be nice if I knew what to do about it, though. “Stef’s still an issue.”

“He knows?” Her gaze locks on mine, eyes wide.

“I mean, I don’t think so. I’m not convinced he’s going to take it well if Jules and I decide to pursue something. Though it would probably be a good idea to talk to Jules about everything first.”

Astrid laughs. “Ya think?”

“Fuck off. It’s scary. If I do something like talk to Jules, it makes it real. And if it’s real, it means I could have everything I want. Or it could mean I get nothing.” I grip the silverware in my fist and take a breath before I meet Astrid’s eyes. “I really care about him, Bean.”

“Then you should go for it. Jules is a sweetheart. And, you know, maybe Stef won’t have a problem with it.”

“You didn’t see his face.” When Stef thought there might be something between me and Jules… I never want him looking at me like that again.

She rolls her eyes and throws up a hand. “You’re right. I didn’t see the face he made fifteen years ago when he was twenty-two and supposedly announced that you weren’t ever to date Jules.” She sets down the last plate and leans her elbows on the back of a dining chair. “You don’t think he’s possibly matured a bit? Or changed his mind? I mean, he loves Jules to death. Hemustwant his brother to be happy, right?”

“I guess. I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t want to fuck anything up. What happens if Jules and I try to date and it blows up in our faces?”

Astrid shrugs. “Then you deal with the fall-out. But I think you ought to try. If after all this time you both still have feelings for each other, you owe it to yourselves to see what it could become.”

I kind of agree, but I’m still not sure I have the courage to do that.

Before we can say anything else, Bjorn and Gunnar carry in the food. “All right, here we come. Out of the way.”

They set the dishes on the table and we all take our traditional spots. “Oh wow, everything looks amazing.” I inhale deeply. “Smells amazing too!” The meal of meatballs in gravy, egg noodles, boiled potatoes, and peas is something our Norwegian grandmother used to make us. It tugs at old memories and I get a little choked up. Catching Bjorn’s eye, I raise the beer he’d set in front of me. “Thank you for this.” I gesture with it to the food. “This is really nice.” We all pass the serving dishes around, loading our plates and digging in.

At first, no one talks. We’re all too busy filling our mouths and stomachs with the delicious food. But after several bites, I realize this isn’t just the first family meal I’ve had since I’ve moved back to Seattle. It’s the first family meal I’ve attended in almost two years, and I probably should show interest in more than the food. “So what’s everybody been up to? Gunnar, how’s work?”

He looks up from his plate, eyebrows raised like he hadn’t expected me to ask. “Oh. Well, it’s good.” He takes a sip of his wine and leans in, food momentarily forgotten. “I’m getting to work on larger projects, which is nice, but I’m just another cog in the gears. There isn’t an opportunity to shine, and no one wants to consider my designs outside of the project scope. But I’ll stick with this agency for another few years. It’s good experience and great for my resume. Eventually, I’d like to find a small, creative, nimble company to work for. Someplace I can grow professionally and have my designs matter.”

Seeing him so animated and smiling is still strange, but I’m happy for him. He’s a far cry from the sullen, withdrawn kid I left behind when I moved to Arizona, and though we’ve hung out during my visits, there’s always been an underlying tension. It’s nice to see that gone. “That’s great, man. It sounds like a solid plan.”

I take another bite of my food and brace myself for backlash from Gunnar to my next question. He’s never approved of Bjorn’s choice of career. “Bjorn. How’s police work?”

“Good, really good. Every day is different and I love the challenge. I’m even thinking about getting into another part of the job.”

I raise my eyebrow. “What other part of S.W.A.T. is there?”

He glances around the table and I get the impression that whatever he’s about to say will be news to our younger siblings. “I’m thinking about taking hostage negotiation training.”

Everyone stops eating and stares at him.

“I’m sorry. What?” Astrid’s voice is dangerously calm.

Bjorn fidgets in his seat, and it’s very amusing to see such a large man squirm under her scrutiny. “I’m looking for a new challenge. Plus, it’s a higher profile job, more responsibility, and better pay.”

She levels him with her glare. “You left out more dangerous.” I glance at Gunnar, but he’s staring at a spot in the middle of the table, and I can’t help but think that’s not a good sign. His opinion of law enforcement plummeted after mom’s murder and subsequent trial. When Bjorn announced he applied to the police academy a few months after the trial ended, the resulting brawl left both of them with black eyes and loose teeth. I certainly hope we don’t get a repeat performance tonight.

“It’s hostage negotiation. That means talking, not shooting. More often than not, it’s via phone or shouting through a bullhorn. It’s definitely not more dangerous than what I’m doing now.”

Her expression remains flat as she takes a sip of wine, but none of us is fooled by her calm exterior. Astrid is not pleased, and Bjorn will pay. It’s something we all learned as kids. Don’t cross Astrid or you suffer the consequences. When and how will remain a mystery until it happens. My sister is very patient and devious with her revenge.

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