Page 34 of Choose Me

“Yes, please.” I gently brush his soft lips with mine. It’s barely a kiss, sweet and perfect, but not nearly enough. I press my lips to his and he smiles against my mouth, inching closer, tilting his head, and whether by instinct or something else, our mouths slot together perfectly. He moans into my mouth, parting his lips, tasting my tongue with his own. It’s tentative, just light strokes, but it electrifies my whole body and I have to remind myself to go slow.

I slip my arms around him, but before I can pull him closer, he moans again and climbs into my lap, draping his arms around my neck as he straddles my thighs. Fuck yes. I deepen the kiss and he makes a small whimper in the back of his throat as he presses every inch of himself against me, like he can’t get close enough.

Fuck, he’s intoxicating. His lean body feels incredible under my searching hands, and it makes me want more. I want to taste and touch him everywhere, tease him until he comes apart under me. “Jules.” I drag my mouth from his, kissing along his jaw, brushing my lips over his light stubble. “Jules. I’ve wanted this for so long.” He feels so good, and I can’t stop touching him. My hands wander everywhere, down his arms, over his ass, under the hem of his shirt, needing to feel his bare skin and unable to stop myself.

He leans back, eyes half-lidded, his mouth red and swollen, and his cheeks pink from my beard. Fuck. He looks so good, like I’ve marked him, claimed him as mine, and I like it. No, I love it. A lot. “Jules,elskling, tell me what you want.”

There’s no hesitation at all. “Everything. I want everything with you.”

My heart soars. “Yes.” I nuzzle behind his ear. “Yes, I want that too, but right now, what do you want? What do you like?” He freezes under my palms, his entire body tensing, and it’s like being doused with a bucket of ice water. I sit back and meet his eyes, worried I’ve done exactly what I was afraid of, and gone too fast. “Jules?”

His easy, sensual smile is gone, replaced by a frown. I’m just glad he’s able to look at me. “I’ve…” He stops and thinks about his words, then tries again. “I’m…” His cheeks flush bright red, but he seems more agitated than embarrassed.

“Jules, it’s all right. You can tell me whatever.” I try to keep my voice even, but my mind is racing in a million directions. I get he hasn’t been with anyone before, but he must have tried a few things alone. Or watched porn and had ideas. “I’m pretty open to whatever.”

He presses a hand over my mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. “Stop. Please.”

I nod, and he pulls his hand back. “Please Jules, just talk to me.”

He huffs out a disgusted sigh and scrubs his hands over his face. “I’m trying.” I stay quiet, letting him gather his thoughts. “Okay, so, I don’t know.”

Somewhere along the way, I lost the thread of the conversation. “You don’t know what?”

Jules grabs fistfuls of his hair and blows out a long breath. “What I like.” Every inch of his body is vibrating, and not in a good way. “I haven’t done things.Anythings. Not with anyone but myself. I mean, I know what I like from what I’ve done alone, but…”

“Jules.” He drops his head, shielding his face with his hair and wrapping himself in a tight hug. I reach for him, but he leans back when he feels my fingers on his arm. “Wait, Jules.” I try to pull him closer, but he leans away, so I stop. “It’s all right. That’s what I was asking. Obviously, I did a horrible job at it, so I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

He covers his face with his hands, muffling his loud groan. “Fuck.” He drops his hands into his lap, his whole body screaming defeat. “So, now that I’ve ruined the mood and solidified the likelihood of dying untouched by anyone besides myself, you’ll probably want to leave. Jesus, I’m such a mess.”

“Hey.” I place a hand on his thigh. “Please stop saying that. You’re not a mess. Far from it, and it hurts that you think that.” He gives a one-shouldered shrug and it could mean ‘so what,’ or ‘okay,’ or something else entirely, especially because I can’t see his expression. “Jules, please look at me.” I kiss his forehead and squeeze his leg in what I hope is a comforting gesture. “Elskling, none of that changes how I feel about you.”

He lifts his face, his beautiful eyes still a bit wary, but full of hope. “You still want me?”

Dear god, I’m going to maim everyone who ever hurt this sweet man. With as much sincerity as I can, I lay it all out for him. He deserves at least that much from me. “Jules, you are the sweetest, most genuinely nice person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, gentle, and smart. You make me laugh, and we love the same things, and have a great time together.”

The spark goes out of his eyes. “So you want to be friends?”

I smile ruefully at him and nod. “We are friends. God, I’m fucking this up again.” I take his face in my hands and look him in the eyes. “Every time I’m near you, my heart flutters in my chest. When you look at me with those stunning hazel eyes, butterflies swoop in my stomach and all I can think about is kissing you. When you touch me, my whole body tingles and I want more of your hands everywhere. I want to touch you and kiss you, and make you feel the way you make me feel. I want you, Jules. God, I want you so much it hurts. It doesn’t matter what experience you do or don’t have.” I caress his face and pretend I don’t see him blinking back tears.

His hands come up to cover mine, his grip so tight his fingertips turn white. “Really?”

“Yeah. Really. But I don’t want to overstep, or make you feel pressured, so we do only what you’re comfortable with. I want to be with you, however you want that. Sex should be exciting and beautiful, and something positive, and I want whatever happens between us to make you feel good.”

He chews on his lower lip for a moment, searching my eyes, and then he leans in, his mouth covering mine in a needy, hungry kiss. Lightning races along my nerves and I moan, sliding my hands down his body, wrapping him in my arms. His kiss is hot and needy and I part my lips, letting him in, shivering as his tongue strokes mine. His hands grapple at my shirt, pulling it up until it’s bunched under my arms. Laughing, I grab the fabric at the back of my neck, hauling it over my head, only breaking the kiss so I can pull it off completely.

Jules brushes his fingertips over the tattoo of Yggdrasil on my chest. His touch is electric, sending little sparks along my skin, making me shiver. “This is beautiful.” He meets my eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

The lump in my throat makes it difficult to speak. Knowing he thinks that means everything. “Thank you. I feel the same about you.” I play with the hem of his shirt. “Can I?” I don’t even get a chance. Jules hauls his shirt over his head like it’s some kind of timed race and tosses it aside. His eagerness is adorable and hot, and I laugh, mostly in relief. He throws himself against me and I let the momentum carry me backward so I’m flat on the couch and Jules is lying across my chest.

He pushes up on his elbows and grins at me. “This okay?”

“It’s more than okay.” I tuck his hair behind his ear. “Whatever you want, at whatever pace. If at any point you want to stop or slow down, you say the word. I won’t be upset.”

The exasperation and sass in his tone are unmistakable. “Erik, I have wanted you for more than half of my life, and for all of that time, Ineverthought this would actually happen. Now I have you right here, kissing me and touching me in ways that make me breathless and achingly hard.” As if to prove his point, he rolls his hips and I moan as our cocks grind together. “So please listen very carefully andhearme. This, right here…”—he gestures between us—“what we’re hopefully doing, is exactly what I want. Or the start of it, anyway. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I also incredibly excited and turned on? God, yes. Do I want you to stop? Absolutely fucking not.” The fierceness in his eyes melts any remaining tension I’m feeling. “I’m more than old enough to know what I want, Erik. And what I want is you.”

I hook an arm around his neck, pulling him into a deep, sensual kiss. “I want you too. So fucking much. We can find out what we like together. Yeah? But if you want to stop…”

He pushes himself up on my chest and glares down at me. “Oh my god, Erik, if you tell me we can stop one more time…”

---