Page 46 of Choose Me

Stef turns his whole body toward me, ready to get up. “Need the Heimlich?” I shake my head and sign ‘fine.’ He nods, pats my hand, and turns back to Erik, shaking his head. “Can’t take him anywhere.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I’m just teasing, babe. I love you.”

I smile and squeeze back. “Love you too.”

“So, really, what’s new? I feel like I haven’t talked with either of you in weeks. We’ve all been so busy.”

Erik shrugs. “Not much. I’m planning to go house hunting this week.”

Stef’s eyes fly open and he claps his hands. “Yes! Oh, that’s exciting.”

Erik turns to me. “Would you want to help?”

I blink, shocked that he’d ask me, especially in front of Stef. “Me?”

“Well, I value your opinion. And, you know—”

Stef cuts him off, ignoring the part where Erik asked for my help and not him. “Oh, my god. It could be a-maaaa-zing! I have tons of decorating ideas.”

There’s fear in Erik’s eyes, and I don’t blame him. If I had to guess, I’d say his taste runs more to ‘Does it all coordinate and can I nap comfortably on or in it.’ Stef is definitely more ‘Is it beautiful and are the lines clean.’

If Stef insists on helping, Erik won’t tell him no. He’ll end up with something he doesn’t necessarily want. Not that Stef would care if Erik said no. He’d just tease him about his bad taste. But I’ve seen them play out this scenario so many times I’ve lost count. “Don’t you think we should wait to see what kind of house Erik gets? You don’t want to put traditional furniture in a modern house, or whatever.”

Stef pouts momentarily but concedes, and barely a moment later his smile is back. “But that means house hunting!”

The server reappears and fills our water glasses, distracting Stef with his footwear. “Oh my god, babe, those boots are adorbs!”

While Stef chats with the server, Erik turns to me and leans in. “I’m serious. I’d love your help. If you’re willing.”

I’m stupidly excited about the idea because nobody ever asks for my advice on stuff like this. “Are you sure? I mean, I’d love to, but I don’t have any experience. I’ll go with you and keep you company, though.” Erik gives me the saddest puppy eyes and my heart turns to goo. “Fine, and give you my opinion.”

“I swear it’ll be fun. And you’ll be helping me out.”

Heat burns across my cheeks at the thought of doing something so coupley with him. “Okay. In that case, I’d love to.”

He takes my hand under the table and rubs his thumb across my knuckles. “I want a place that’s cozy, somewhere I can come home to and relax. I don’t want a picture perfect house, if you know what I mean.”

I do, because that’s what I would want, too. “Maybe a place with hardwood floors and stone fireplaces. You could decorate in nice earth tones, with comfy furniture, and throw pillows that are functional and not hard as rocks.”

“Yeah. And a sofa that you could…”—we finish the thought together—“take a nap on.”

We laugh, and I imagine how nice it would be to curl up with Erik on the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around me, napping together. “Naps are important.”

He nods. “Naps are very important. I’ll call the realtor tomorrow, and I’ll let you know what they say.”

I try not to grin like a fool. I’m going house hunting with Erik.

Stef finishes typing something into his phone and smiles at the server like they’re best friends now. “Thanks, sweetie. You’re a doll! I’ll be sure to check out the shop!” Stef makes friends so easily. I wish genetics had spread that gene around a bit more, rather than giving all of it to him, though I’m glad he doesn’t have to suffer with my anxiety.

He slips his phone into his pocket and turns back to us, resting his chin in his hand. “So, Quinn and Tadhg are pretty much a given now, right? Have they said anything about moving in together?”

Nothing like pointing out what I’ve been trying really hard not to think about. My cheeks heat and I fiddle with my napkin. “I’m not sure.” I’m thirty-three years old, and the last thing I want to do is admit that I’m worried about living by myself for the first time, even if the thought makes me queasy. “Nothing’s official yet, but yeah. Probably.”

Stef grimaces and pats me on the arm. “I’m sorry, babe. You know, you can always move in with me if you want.” I don’t say anything. Living with Stef wouldn’t work. Not because we don’t get along, but I’d feel more pressure to go out and be social because he likes to do that. Stef means well, and he never pushes, but just knowing he was going out would put pressure on me to join him, and that’s not something I’m interested in.

Not to mention the fact that Stef’s apartment is right on the main drag of Capitol Hill, with all the hustle and bustle from restaurants and shops. He thrives on that. I’d wilt. Plus, he adores his apartment, and it’s a very small one bedroom. We both would never fit, and I’d hate to ask him to move for me. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

Erik frowns. “I’m worried about you living by yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.” I’m worried about it too, but I don’t have many choices.

---