Page 5 of Choose Me

“Eh. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Judy and I had our fourth grandbaby last month. Little guy looks just like me, poor thing.”

I jog across the parking lot and open my truck door, leaning in to start the engine and get the AC moving, then toss my pack onto the passenger side and slide behind the wheel while the vehicle airs out. “Aww, I’m sure he’s adorable. Congrats, man. Tell Judy I said congratulations to her, too. That’s fantastic.”

“Will do. Hey, I actually called for a reason. Do you have a minute?”

Some of my previous worry creeps back in. “As long as you don’t mind talking over the noise of the AC. I just got in the truck and this old girl doesn’t have an automatic starter.” I love my Silverado, but I know she’s at the end of her viability. I bought her new right before I left home, then drove her out here. She’s been good to me for the past fourteen years, but I’m putting more into her maintenance lately, and it might be time to look at a new vehicle. Especially with the extreme temperatures we get here in Arizona.

Gordon clears his throat. “Okay, so hear me out before you say anything.”

Shit. “That’s not ominous.” The bluetooth connection picks up and my call switches to the truck speaker, so I set my phone in the center cup holder, close the door, and roll down all the windows to let the heat escape.

“I have a friend with an investment opportunity. It’s a hiking and camping tour company here in Seattle. His business partner moved to Canada with his wife and family, and it left an opening for a new co-owner. I had a look at the books. It’s a sound investment and I thought maybe you’d like in on it. At the very least, as a trail guide. You were always my best, and I’m sure that hasn’t changed.”

For a moment, I’m speechless as an image of Jules Evans flashes through my mind. Then a million other thoughts crowd in and ping through my brain. I don’t live in Seattle, so how would that work? I could own my own company and be my own boss. Do I want to own my own company? Do I want to move back to Seattle and deal with winter again? And the biggest question: do I want to deal with my chaotic family for longer than a visit? I ignore that and focus on the other, more pleasant aspects. “Thanks, Gordon. That means a lot coming from you.” I’d worked for Gordon in college, and he’d been an exacting boss, but absolutely fair. “It sounds like an amazing opportunity, but why me?”

“Because I trust you.” My chest fills with warmth, and I’m glad he keeps talking because I need a minute to get my emotions under control. Jesus, I should go home and get a shower and take a nap if I’m getting choked up so easily. But his words really touch me. “Look, I don’t want to make assumptions, and I certainly don’t mean to be insensitive, but I know at one point you had a pretty good nest-egg when you left. This is a great opportunity, and I’d invest myself, but I’m retired and Judy and I are planning to travel and visit all the grandbabies. I can’t have my money tied up at this point in my life.”

He sighs into the phone. “You love outdoor adventuring and guiding tours. You were one of my best, and I was sorry to see you go after you graduated. Your family is here in Seattle, and you’ve said you always planned on coming back home at some point, so it seemed like a natural fit. I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped.”

“No, you haven’t. Not at all.”

He exhales into the phone. “Good. I think this is a perfect fit, so I told John I’d see if you were interested in at least talking to him about it.”

I stare blankly out the windshield of the truck, envisioning running my own guide business. Iaminterested, and he’s not wrong about my ability to invest. After my mom died, we inherited money. Stupid amounts of money. It had been incredibly bittersweet to find out we were rich under those circumstances. But it helped pay for her funeral expenses and even came with a ridiculously huge mansion on Yarrow Point. My share of the trust ‌helped me buy my truck and get the hell out of Seattle. I invested the rest and between the interest, and my paycheck, I cover all my monthly expenses without having to touch the principal.

On the plus side, it would be nice to see my best friend Stef regularly. We talk on the phone, and I get back to Seattle now and then, but I miss hanging out with him. I have friends here, but it’s not the same. My thoughts drift back to Jules—the kindest, sweetest soul on the planet. He’s funny and genuine, and I’ve never met anyone else like him. And I’ve looked. A few times I’ve even done more than that, but nothing ever lasted. If I moved home, I could see him. Not that we’d be more than friends, because even if he still has feelings for me, he’s Stef’s little brother, and he made it crystal clear Jules is off-limits.

“Erik? You still there?”

Shit! “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about everything you’ve said. Can I have some time to consider it and let you know?”

“Absolutely. And there’s no pressure. If you decide it’s not for you, no hard feelings. It’s a great setup and John shouldn’t have any trouble finding an investor.”

I roll up the windows, put the truck in reverse, and back out of the space. “Okay, that’s good to know. Give me a day or two and I’ll give you my answer. If I’m interested, I’ll want to talk to him first. Make sure he’s someone I can work with. If that goes well, then I can book a trip home and meet with him in person to check out the facility and review the financials. My accountant will need to be there.” I’m smart enough to know I shouldn’t review the books myself. “If everything looks good, I’ll want my lawyer to review the buy-in contract.”

“You can talk to John about that, but I doubt he’d have an issue with it. Seems like reasonable requests.”

I put the truck in drive and pull out onto the street. “Okay. Hey, thanks for thinking of me for this.”

“You were the obvious choice, and I had to at least give you a shot at it. But I’ll let you go. It was great talking to you, Erik. Let me know how it goes.”

“It was good to talk to you too, Gordo. And I will.”

We hang up and I drive in silence. For the first time in fourteen years, it might be time to go home.

2

Jules

PresentDay…

I stare across the street at the four-story, light brick building that houses the Seattle offices of the US Forest Service and take a very deep breath before letting it out slowly, counting to three and wiping my palms against my thighs. “Come on Jules. You can do this.” And I can. I’ve done it lots of times, and this is no different. It’s just another day in the office. After ten years of working in the same place, I know everyone. I’ll sit at my desk and work on my reports, meet with my boss, and then I’ll go home. No surprises. No chance to disappoint anyone. I have this. Even after so many years of dealing with my social anxiety, all the therapy, and my not insignificant improvement, I still have situations that trigger me and it comes roaring back. I fucking hate it.

Tentatively, I take a step into the street, chanting myI can do thismantra under my breath while trying not to throw up. Jesus, you’d think at thirty-three I’d be able to navigate basic office interactions without sweating through my uniform. I grab the door handle and yank, flinging it open far more forcefully than I intend, almost cracking myself in the face with the edge.Shit! Get it together, Jules!

Thankfully, no one is in the lobby to witness my humiliation. Go me. I slip inside the office and speed walk to my cubicle, throwing myself into my chair before I finally manage to take a small breath.

The soft whooshing of the copier and the gurgling of the coffeemaker in the kitchenette mean other people are already in the office, but it’s still mostly quiet. I have time to settle. My meeting with my boss, the entire reason I’m in the office today instead of being out in the field, isn’t until nine. I have until then to calm my nerves and review the agenda, though I could probably recite it in my sleep.

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