Page 7 of Choose Me

“Yes. Of course. If you need to finish out the day from home, that’s fine. I wanted to tell you face-to-face, but there’s really no other reason for you to be in the office.” We both stand and he walks around the desk and puts a hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be fine, son. It’ll be stressful at first, but I know you two will work it out. And I’ll be here for a while yet, so things aren’t changing immediately.”

“Thanks.” I force a smile but it feels more like a grimace. “I’m gonna…” I point to the door, and the moment he nods, I bolt out of the office. Breathing heavily, I make it to my desk and flop into my chair, dropping my head between my knees. I concentrate on centering thoughts, going through my five-senses exercise, and eventually the nausea recedes.

When I sit up, Andi is in my doorway. “You okay?” I nod, because what else am I supposed to say? “Can I get you anything?”

I rub my neck and wince. “No. I’m fine. Just… a bit of a shock.” I look up at them and keep my voice pitched low, so everyone else doesn’t hear. “Jack’s retiring at the end of the year.”

Andi’s eyes go wide. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Even to my ears, it doesn’t sound like I believe it. “It’s still two months away. It’ll be fine.” I put more force behind the words, because everything has to be fine. With trembling hands, I collect my papers and shut down my laptop. “I’m going to work from home for the rest of the day. Message me if you need to vent.” I load everything into my backpack and sling one strap over my shoulder. We bump fists. “Take it easy.”

“Yeah. Same.”

I slide past them and out the doors, hoping I make it home before I lose my shit.

3

Jules

Erik’sboominglaughterfillsthe room and my eyes seek him out for the millionth time tonight. I can’t believe he’s here in my apartment. When Stef said Erik was in town and coming to our tournament, I seriously thought I was going to have a panic attack. If it wasn’t for Quinn gently nudging me out of my room, I’d probably still be in there.

My panic was over nothing though, because the minute I saw Erik, he had me wrapped in the warmest, safest hug, and all my anxiety melted away. It didn’t stop me from cornering Stef later to ask why he hadn’t said anything. I guess he’d been as surprised as I was, and said Erik only called him half an hour before they showed up here.

So now, for the first time in almost two years, Erik Osouf is sitting in my living room, his ridiculously gorgeous face lit up by some story Stef’s telling him. “He’s very handsome.” I drag my eyes back to Jocelin, and heat rushes to my face. Not only am I being obvious, I’m being incredibly rude.

Rather than call me on it, Jocelin nods in Erik’s direction, his warm brown eyes dancing with suppressed laughter. I shrug, trying to play it off like I may have noticed in passing, once, a hundred eons ago, that Erik’s good looking. The truth is, he’s sexier than ever with the new full beard and mustache. He didn’t have those the last time he was home, and it’s a whole other level of hot. Especially with his golden hair in a long, thick braid down his back, and his huge shoulders straining the fabric of his shirt. “Your brother talks about him often. Were they ever…” Jocelin’s voice trails off, but he waggles his eyebrows at me.

“What? No!” It’s definitely not the first time someone’s asked that, but it still seems so absurd. “You know Stef. He’s very touchy feely with everyone. He and Erik have been friends since sixth grade, and they’ve stayed really close, but it’s more like brothers, not romantic.”

Jocelin’s lips quirk into a grin. “In that case, do you think Stef would mind if I—”

I don’t even let him finish. “Yes. He would. Mind. A lot. Stef is very protective of Erik.” My voice is a bit too high and the words tumble out one right after the other like they’re racing to leave my mouth. Jocelin’s eyes go wide and I force my pitch to a normal range and speed. “Not that Erik needs protection. Clearly.” I wave in his general direction. Anyone with eyes can see he’s fully capable of taking care of himself.Myeyes linger over his muscular thighs and bulging biceps, and I try not to stare. Again. I force my eyes back to Jocelin. “But you know what I mean. So, no. Erik is off-limits to anyone in the friend group. Something about making things awkward.”

Jocelin sighs and finishes his wine in one gulp. “Too bad. He’s gorgeous.”

“Yep. Too bad!” I ignore the squeak that’s worked its way back into my voice.

He eyes me skeptically, but seems more amused than anything. “Be right back. I’m going to put this in the kitchen.” He holds up his wineglass and heads into the hall. The bump against my elbow startles me. I hadn’t realized anyone else was that close. I spin around to the grinning face of my best friend. Quinn is doing nothing to hide his amusement. Asshole.

“Erik is off-limits to anyone in the friend group? Since when?”

“Shhhh!” I glance toward the hall, afraid Jocelin is lingering and might hear. “It just kind of came out.” I scrunch up my nose, embarrassed by my ridiculously juvenile behavior. “I’m…”—I sigh and rub my forehead—“a little thrown off with Erik here.”

Quinn’s brows draw down in concern. “Is it a problem? I thought you’d be happy about it.”

I risk a glance past Quinn, and bright blue eyes catch me looking. I yank my gaze away, but not before I see Erik smile. Shit! “I am!” I flail my arms in frustration. “I just keep… gawking at him like some creeper, and no matter what I do, I can’t stop.”

All night it’s been like this. Okay, during the tournament I’d kept my attention on the game, but really only when it was my turn, and it didn’t help my score. I still played horribly. Mostly because I kept wondering if Erik was watching. And the funny thing is, he was. Every time.

Quinn grins and nudges me playfully. “Maybe he was coming to see you and everyone being here was a coincidence.”

My stomach flutters at that, though my mind is helpfully supplying that I’m being ridiculous. There are days I hate my brain. “Why would he come here to see me? That doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know. He might have wanted to talk to you alone.”

Quinn waggles his eyebrows, and I give him a shove. “That’s not likely. In fact, it’s impossible. Erik’s never shown any romantic interest in me at all. I’m the one stuck on him. Still.”

I’ve been drawn to Erik since I was nine and my brother Stef brought him home for the first time to work on some project for school. I’d been terrified at first, because I’ve never been good at meeting new people. But I spied on them, peeking around the kitchen doorway, and was immediately curious about the lanky kid with the Legend of Zelda T-shirt and the Sonic the Hedgehog backpack.

Erik was so different from any of Stef’s other friends. He was sweet and calm and into the same things I was, like video games, taking walks in the woods, camping, and fishing. And he never tried to force me to talk if I didn’t want to, or got creeped out or teased me when I’d hover in the background, getting comfortable with him being around. He’d just accepted it, and one afternoon when he and Stef were playingSonic Adventure 2, I got up the nerve to sit next to him. Without a word, he switched to multiplayer mode and handed me a controller like it was no big deal. That small gesture of kindness and acceptance was the beginning of our friendship, and of me losing my heart.

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