Page 12 of Enkindling

Wonder turned to rage. “You’re not serious, Will. I ought to have you hanged, drawn, and quartered.”

“Ouch,” I said with a chuckle.

“I amnotlaughing!” she exclaimed, turning fully to face me, and raising herself on her knees to look down at me gravely, arms akimbo. The threat of fresh tears punctured her façade of superiority for only a second before she forced them back. “Do you haveanyidea how much pain you’ve put me through?”

I couldn’t resist. I reached out and pulled her down onto my lap. She uttered a startled cry and squirmed against me in protest, but I held her there easily. “Alright, little robin,” I teased. “That’s quite enough. Come back to your perch. Flying off when you’re in a huff like this is dangerous.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Don’t you call me that!” She squirmed around even more, uttering the most delightful little squeals of ire and frustration. “Let mego!I’m not done with you! I thought youdiedten years ago, Will Carter!Ten!”

“I’ll let you go when you’ve calmed down,” I told her evenly. “You’re getting much too loud. People will hear us.” I glanced out into the distant fields and then back at the manor nearby.

“I don’t care!” she replied in a fierce whisper that nonetheless proved her assertion false. Her eyes flashed with anger, and the tears she had dammed finally burst free. “I don’t believe you…” she muttered and collapsed against my chest all over again, pounding it twice before surrendering.

“It’s okay, Kat,” I assured her gently. “Listen, take me inside. I’ll give you your answers there.”

She responded without delay, and I released her. Mopping her eyes with her arm, she took up her book, and without so much as a backward glance, walked toward the manor as imperiously as she could manage. I watched her with a wry smile. She was just as stubborn as I remembered. Even in submission, Kathy had always needed to retain at least some semblance of control.

Following in her wake, I thought of what I would say in a few minutes. She was sure to demand answers, and I had just promised to supply them. I was far from sure what to say to her. She had every right to be mad at me. If I gave her the slightest hint that I was deceiving her or holding back now, she would justly recoil from me. And yet I couldn’t simply say everything she wanted to hear right now. This did not bode well.

Give it time. It will work itself out. Keep your eyes open.

***

Kathy’s quarters were small but cozy and well-kept. She was on the upper floor of one of the secondary buildings, and the little flat was designed with self-sufficiency in mind. Her living room was reasonably spacious and had a homely feel. There was a sofa for guests, other pieces of furniture and decorations, a sizeable bookshelf packed with books, and a desk off in the corner where she did her work. The kitchen was directly adjoined with no need for more than a half wall, the bathroom was close at hand and her bedroom was tucked away in the back.

As I made myself at home on the couch, she drew back the curtains and threw open the windows wide, revealing the charming view of the land stretching back into the distance. She was hoping to catch the breeze, I knew. I declined her offer of food, accepted her offer of a drink it was promptly served from a pitcher of water. After I had drunk to my heart’s content, she pulled up a small chair and sat across from me, legs crossed.

I made a mental note of the distance she had imposed, missing her acutely after what had transpired earlier. No matter, I could use the space. It would make it easier to gather my thoughts.

“Well?” she asked quietly. “Are you going to make me drag it out of you?”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Kathy.”

She cocked an eyebrow and folded her arms under her breasts. “That’s a start, at least. For…?”

“It’s hard to know where to begin,” I conceded.

“The beginning would be nice,” she asserted with absolutely no hesitation. “You took my heart with you, wherever it was that you went, Will. You did so twice – first when you abandoned me and then again when you supposedlydied. Speaking of, why did you never once –once, Will – try to let me know it wasn’t true?”

“I had to, Kathy.”

“You had to? Yes, indeed,” she snapped. “After all, you always did have your reasons for everything.”

What a way to start a conversation, I thought. We hadn’t gone a single minute, and already I was feeling exhausted. “You don’t understand, Kathy,” I said.

“Then make me, by all means!”

“Keep your voice down,” I cautioned. “Please,” I added when I saw outrage begin to rise. “Listen, Kathy, you knew what I was from the start.”

“Not from the start, I didn’t!” she protested, though she did indeed speak softer. “I would argue I still don’t. You always did keep your secrets, Will.”

“Because I had to,” I shot back. “Because I must. If anything, I’m sorry I ever got close to you. I should have left you alone from the very beginning.”

Her eyes widened and then welled up with tears. She covered her mouth with one hand.

“No!” I rushed to repair the damage. “Listen, Kat, that’s not how I meant it. Just give me a chance to explain, okay?”Dammit, Will. You might as well cut off your leg while you’re at it.

“Did you ever truly love me, Will?” she asked miserably, and her voice broke. “Was anything you said back then really true?”

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