Page 15 of Enkindling

“I can’t say right now, Kathy. Suffice it to say, powerful people in high places.”

She gulped and took a moment to collect herself. “And… And your supposed death?” she managed at last.

“My own doing. Acoup de grace, if you will. We have the resources to make anyone appear officially dead, you understand. And you were sure to abandon all hope of finding a dead man. You would never inadvertently make yourself a target. It was specifically for you.”

Having concluded my story, I sank back onto the sofa and closed my eyes. There was a long period of total silence. I made no effort to move, and Kathy had dropped my hand at some point during my explanation. In many ways, it felt cathartic to have finally gotten this out. The sensation of something heavy and opaque ebbing away from around my heart was gratifying.

After what felt like several minutes, I felt her move, and the next instant, she was crawling into my lap. “Will,” she said, “I’m scared.”

I opened my eyes to find her fixing me with a worried look. She had straddled me. “You’re right to be, and I’m sorry,” I conceded. “I’ve gotten you involved again.”

“I meant foryou, dummy!” she exclaimed. She cupped my face with tender hands. “I can’t imagine your life these past ten years, constant danger hounding your every step…”

I wrapped my arms around her, and she pressed herself to me in a fierce embrace. “Never mind that, Kathy,” I told her. “This is the life I chose. I have nothing to complain about; that would be pointless. I spent those ten years getting the bastards back for what they did. I got the bulk of them, too.”

“Yes,” she said, her face nestled against my neck. “But how amIsupposed to feel? I thought I’d lost you for good, Will. I don’t want that to become real now that I know I didn’t.”

“And I’m sorry, Kathy,” I stated earnestly. “I hurt you once trying to save you, and now I’ve gone and put you in harm’s way again. I shouldn’t have come here.”

She pulled back to look me dead in the eyes, her flashing. “Then whydidyou come, Will?” she demanded. She waited for her answer, defying me to look away.

“Because I want you, alright?” I almost shouted. I gave her a fiery look. “Because I’m weak to you! It’s what got us here in the first place. I couldn’t stay away from you then, and I can’t do it now. I don’twantto do it now.”

Her eyes widened and became cloudy with tears.

I pressed on recklessly. “I made the mistake of tracking you here because I needed to see you one more time, needed to see that you were doing well with my own eyes. But it wasn’t enough. I ended up staying. I’ve been watching you from the shadows for weeks now. You were none the wiser until that fateful day when that foolish boy tried to rob you. The whole time it was torture. The whole time I wanted to make contact, but I thought about the risks. And even those couldn’t deter me in the end. I went away for three weeks before today, and at no point did I fail to think about you. Now, here I am, at your house, with you,alone– just like I wanted. Part of me – the wiser part, by my estimate – says I should pack up and get as far away from you as possible because there’s still time. The other part is me sitting right here, right now. I amweak, Kat! I want you desperately! I can’t bear to stay away from you anymore. And because of it, your life might be in danger.”

Her whole body shuddered with the effort of breathing. She damped her lips with a flick of her tongue. “Will,” she said breathlessly, her hand stroking my cheek. “Let me go and get up right now. If you don’t, I can’t promise I won’t keep you here by force.” She had not broken eye contact for a second, and she did not attempt to move or to stop caressing me.

This time, I lost it completely. My lips reached for hers at theexact moment she reached for him. Impatiently, our tongues danced around each other. The feel of her soft lips sent me reeling. I could feel myself growing harder with each passing second as I continued to kiss her. She pressed her warm body against me even more as though she knew what she was doing to me.

She moaned my name against my lips, driving me even crazier. Her hands found their way into my hair, and she tugged gently. My hands started to find their way underneath her shirt, and I caressed her skin gently. She shuddered against me and moaned even more. Then I stopped.

Her eyes flew open, and she looked up at me, confused.

“There’s no one else?” I croaked the question. I had to be sure.

“No one,” she gasped and gazed tenderly into my eyes. “Only you, Will. Only us…”

“Dammit all, Kat,” I growled. I surrendered myself to her again, this time with an edge of fury. I had been careless. Infidelity was something I despised, and I could have easily made myself detestable in my haste just now. This entire meeting had been one long story of risk and carelessness.

She pulled me against her more as our kiss deepened, and my eager hands finally found her breasts. The feel of them intoxicated me. She uttered a high-pitched moan of pure pleasure as I pressed them insistently, twirling her small, hard nipples between my fingers. I felt her body shake as I tugged gently and she held onto me tighter, and I felt a heady surge of raw and reckless hunger. I felt myself grow harder as her hands come around and her fingers hurriedly get to work, trying to undo my buttons. Freeing one hand, I rushed to help her. I desperately wanted her soft, warm hands on my bare skin.

The process was slower than either of us liked, and I tore myself away from her with an impatient groan. I shrugged out of my coat and undid the rest of the buttons of my vest. She was staring up at me and panting. I watched her squirm under the heat of my gaze and was seized with an unrelenting desire to see her bare breasts. They must be just as incredible as I remembered them—they had certainly felt that way just now.

But then, as I was about to order her to take the wretched thing off, my imagination furnished me with an image that drained every last drop of lust from me. Suddenly this wasn’t the couch in her room anymore. This was cold, hard ground, and Kathy was lying on it, just as she was right now, but this time with unseeing eyes staring blankly into the skies above. I saw myself hovering over her like I was now, and I was howling in bitter anguish. I grimaced.

She noticed the change in me instantly. She sat bolt upright and reached for me. “What?” she demanded. “What is it, Will?”

“We can’t, Kat,” I croaked. “We shouldn’t. I can’t do this to you. It’s too dangerous. I should never have come here.”

“We can,” she urged. “I want to. I wantyou, Will.”

I got up from the couch and walked away. I couldn’t do this. What had I been thinking? I stared at the wall without seeing it.

After a few seconds, Kathy followed and hugged me from behind. “Listen to me, Will. This can happen. Don’t take this from me again. Please don’t.”

“Did you not hear a word I said?” I was cross now. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

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