Page 3 of Tik-Tok

“Why does anyone marry?” His tone came out low, steady. “Because they love one another.”

“You can’t.” Why couldn’t she just stop talking? Why did she have to appear more like the child he saw in her, instead of the grown female she was?

His face softened as he studied her. “North…”

“I love you,” she rushed the words out. “I always have.” Her heart couldn’t hold it in any longer, and if it did, it would break. More than it already was.

Birch placed his hands on her shoulders, and she hoped this was the moment. The one where he realized they were meant to be. His throat bobbed as he watched her, not seeming at all surprised at what she’d just confessed. “You don’t,” he finally said, his voice gentle.

“I do.” She felt the tears pricking at her eyes, wishing he could slip directly into her heart, her mind, and see how much she did, because maybe then, he would love her too.

“North, I can’t.”

She winced. “You’re only saying that because of my father.”

Birch released a sigh, not taking his hands from her shoulders. “I would sacrifice my life for you, you know that. You’re like a sister to me, and I love you, but I don’t feel the way you want me to.” He paused and gnawed on his lip. “Please go home before Tin finds you out here.”

North inhaled sharply, her gaze darting everywhere but Birch’s face. Something in her broke … shattered. “I understand,” she forced out the words, even though she didn’t mean them. “I’ll go.”

Turning out of his grasp, she started for the palace. North ducked behind a tree and glanced back as Birch slowly spun to go, as if he’d been debating whether to escort her home himself. She continued to watch while he walked back to his candles. And she knew that he would worship Gemma’s body right in the circle of flames after he proposed to her and she said yes. Taking a deep swallow, she wiped the hot tears from her cheeks.

North peered at the castle, her chest as hollow as the collection of her grandmother’s vases inside. She couldn’t go back right now, simply to sit in her room alone, crying herself to sleep.

Instead, she would do somethingdaring. She’d been saving herself for Birch, for when the time was right. But it would never happen now.

Blowing out a breath, she hurried to the front of the castle, across the bridge, to the part of the woods where fae went every night to have a good time, to not have to think, or worry.

Faeries filled the air with laughter while dust from circling sprites lit up the night. The wind continued to bite her skin, but she barely felt it as she slipped past icy trees and snow-covered bushes to join the revelry.

Fae skidded across the frozen lake, some half-dressed despite the cold evening. Along the bank, couples chatted, drank, and danced. Others were naked, mounted atop one another, their hips rolling. She lifted her chin, trying not to seem inexperienced, as she crept closer.

A fae with bark covering most of his body glanced up as she passed and held out a vial full of emerald dust. North nodded—her usual set of rules didn’t apply tonight. He sprinkled some glittering flecks onto her wrist and she licked it clean, letting the high wash over her. Grabbing the full mug of mead at his side, North drank half of it before strolling off. The world seemed to brighten.

She needed to find someone,anyone, who would serve her purpose. A fae stepping off of the ice caught her attention. He was already shirtless, his red hair spilling down over his shoulders. Beautiful was the only way to describe him. He wouldn’t be forever hers, and she didn’t need him to be. Whatever happened next would only be to keep the ache from her heart for tonight. Before anyone else could claim him, North sauntered to the male and grabbed him by the wrist.

“Come on,” North said, not meeting his eyes. She would be brave while the dark of the night helped to conceal her nervousness.

The male arched an eyebrow as he studied her. “Which tree?”

With a false grin, she brought him to the nearest trunk. The drug pulsing through her made her too high to care if anyone watched—she only wanted to feel better.

“Open your mouth,” he said, pressing a finger to her lower lip.

North listened as he pulled out his own vial of emerald dust from his pants, sprinkling some on her tongue before coating his own with gold from a different pouch. He licked his tongue against hers, mingling the dust, and warmth spread through her, so much so that she forgot everything. It didn’t take much time to learn how to match the movements of his lips. Then, as she discovered what to do, their kisses became frantic, desperate, as the dust soared within her. She loosened the tie at his pants, pushing her hand inside and squeezing his length. It felt different than she’d imagined—smooth and soft, yet hard.

And even though she didn’t want to think about Birch, his face still haunted her as the male hiked up her dress, then lifted her so her legs wrapped around his narrow waist. North wanted to pretend Birch loved her, that she had her own magic, that she was good enough—even compared to her family. But she couldn’t. Shame spread through her.

“Stop!” she shouted, desperate.

The male froze, releasing her as though she’d burned him.

“I can’t.” Avoiding looking at him, she adjusted her dress.

“I thought… North…” His voice came out gentle.

Of course he knew who she was. Everyone here did. How could they not? She was the granddaughter and daughter of the Land of Oz’s leaders. Not only that, but she was like a daughter to the Queen of Oz. Three powerful females. And she was nothing.

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” North turned to leave and swayed unsteadily as the woods spun around her.

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