Page 15 of Knave

He wouldn’t have saved himself, otherwise. “It all worked out,” she said, cocking her head, the frown still on his face but slowly dissolving.

“But what if it hadn’t?”

“It did, though.”

“You have the best heart, you know that?” He inched closer to her.

“No, Ferris, I don’t.” Mouse reclined in the water, leaning her head against the back of the bathtub as she stared at the ceiling. “Once I was free, everything hit me at once. The memories. The hunger. To go without feeding straight from the source while enduring Rav’s abuse didsomethingto me. I’m just so blasted hungry all the time.”

“You have been feeding more than normal. But it will have to level out soon, right?” It sounded more like a question, one that she had no answer to.

“There’s something else you don’t know about me,” she said softly. “Because of something in my past, I kill mortals differently. Over the centuries, when I feel the hunger stir, when I’m having a rough day, I venture out into the mortal world and take someone’s life who I believe deserves it. Today it was the woman you saw—she’d been trying to drug another mortal. But recently it’s become more frequent, less controllable, and I … I did something awful not long ago.”

“Go on.” Ferris knelt at the bathtub, not a single sign of fear shining in his eyes. He wasn’t as old as her and had only been a vampire for two years, so he would have a much stronger human side than she did.

“I’m the reason the donor building is temporarily closed. I killed everyone inside with my bloodlust.” Tears pricked her eyes and she wanted to sink beneath the water, drown herself for a second before her breaths returned, but she kept her gaze locked on his.

His brows rose, his throat bobbing. “That’s why it’s closed?”

“Yes, only Ever and Chess know.”

“Chess again?” Ferris said between gritted teeth, the muscle feathering along his jaw.

“He was with Ever when they spotted me returning here drenched in blood. Since that day, I sometimes lose control of my hunger and I’m trying not to unravel. But I don’t know what’s happening.”

“I promise I’ll help you, luv, and I won’t tell anyone.” Ferris’s soft gaze turned hard. “If Rav wasn’t dead, I would murder the fucker. Piece by piece. Over and over.”

Mouse could feel the ghosts of Rav’s needles piercing her flesh, taking and taking and taking not only her blood but her essence. She couldn’t confess anymore, not right then. “Can we talk more tomorrow?”

Ferris nodded, pushing a lock of wet hair behind her ear, and her stomach fluttered at the gentle movement. “Get some rest and we’ll decide our next step then.”

Mouse watched him leave, keeping the door cracked behind him, and a little weight lifted off her chest after her confessions. But as she sat in the bath for a long while, hours passing, the weight started to build back on her lungs, her bones, like an anchor wanting to tug her below the freezing water’s surface. Her breathing came out quick, her body shivering from the cold water, and she needed to see someone. It had to be Ferris because she still couldn’t go to Maddie and talk about everything again. Not right now.

Mouse threw on a long black skirt and silky shirt, then padded down the hall to Ferris’s room. She just needed to slide in bed beside him and hold onto him.

As the door creaked open, her gaze settled on a muscular form resting on the bed. Smooth, naked tan skin. Mouse blinked and blinked. Ferris was usually under the covers… But not now. He lay face down, his firm buttocks on display, his taut back covered in the tattoo she’d always been drawn to. A piece that made it look like his skin had been peeled away, revealing a mechanical system beneath the layers. He’d sketched it himself for the artist to tattoo the design on him. Her eyes drifted back down to his arse, lingering on the delectable curves of it. Why couldn’t she take her eyes from that body part? Her fangs threatened to drop, to sink into his taut muscles.

Ferris stirred, rolling over, his gaze meeting hers. “Mouse? Shit, let me get dressed.”

Mouse spun around from him, but not before she caught a quick peek at his length—thick, long and perfect with a shiny silver piercing at its tip. “I know you thought you wouldn’t see me until tomorrow…”

“No, it’s fine.” The rustle of clothing sounded.

She studied the poster on the wall, a black and white scene of a drum set covered in fog, trying to distract herself from what she’d just seen. A heat spread through her, drifting lower, and she liked it a bit too much. She thought about Maddie and how her sister would use sex in the past to take away her pain. For the first time in her life, Mouse truly wanted to give in to that lust, trail her tongue down Ferris’s abs, then run it up his cock. Mr. Taylor had taken that want from her. He’d been courting Mouse and they’d done things … but she’d wanted to wait until marriage to make love and the bastard hadn’t. But this wasn’t about covering up pain. She wanted to see what it would feel like for Ferris to slide himself inside her.

No. He’s your friend. Emphasis onfriend. A friend she wanted to—

“You can turn around now.” Ferris’s voice came out thick with sleep.

She slowly spun to face him, finding him now dressed in only dark trousers. “I was just seeing if you wanted to take a walk.” There was no way she could lay beside him at the moment, in a bed, where she would either be thinking of what it would be like to sink her teeth into him to taste his blood or what it would feel like to have his length inside her.What in the world was happening?

“Of course, wake me up for a nightly stroll any time.”

Or a nightly fuck. Mouse’s eyes widened at her own inner thought, but she schooled her features and nodded.

As they walked out of the palace, the fresh air circling her, Mouse was starting to feel back to herself instead of focusing on Ferris’s naked body.

“So, luv, should we discuss our top-secret plan to curb your appetite?” He waggled his brows, making it so she knew he was there for her, despite what she’d done.

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