Page 12 of The Pursuit of Happiness

As I catch my breath and force my unwanted tears at bay, aknuckle raps on the bathroom door. I groan internally. I really can’t handle much else right now. I feel like I’m going to break at any minute. “Aria?” Selene calls from the other side.

I unlock the door and open it. I face her immediately, not wanting to piss her off or irritate her any more than she already is by not being quick to respond. When I face her she takes in the sight of me and places a hand on my shoulder, “Hey, I know this is really hard and you must be feeling really confused and scared right now, but I promise you I’m going to fix this,” she reassures me in a way that only Selene can. Selene is much like my mother in the sense that she’s very cold but she’s also very different as she possesses the ability to be warm and comforting. It’s just not a side of her that many people see.

I nod, “I know. Thank you,” I give her a weak smile.

“I’m sorry for being so hard on you,” she apologizes.

“It’s okay. I know how hard this is for you to fix. I understand why you’re frustrated.”

She stares blankly at my face before taking a deep breath. “I have a doctor on the way here to do a blood test. I also contacted Steve Hardman, Slater’s manager and I demanded Slater get a blood test by the same doctor.”

This catches my attention. My brows crease as I frown, “Why would Slater need a drug test?”

Selene’s ruthless business exterior returns and she scowls, “Because when I sue the fuck out of them, I want documentation that you were the only one drugged and effected by this. If the results come back that you’re the only one with drugs in your system, I’ll send him to jail.”

My stomach drops. As angry as I am at Slater right now, the thought of him going to jail doesn’t sit right with me. Although, the thought that he could be responsible for this entire mess sits even worse. “His manager agreed?”

“I didn’t give him a choice,” she declares, and I know shedidn’t. “Dr. Green will be here soon to take your blood test and then he’s going to take Slater’s directly after. We’ll have both results by tonight latest.”

I nod, the information sinking in. “Okay.”

“For now, I’m going to make a few phone calls and try to clean up some of this mess. While I do that I want you to stay here, take a shower and try to calm down. Brody and Ivory will stay with you. I’ll be back when Dr. Green gets here,” she instructs me rationally.

I nod again and follow her out of the bathroom and back in the direction of the living room. I split apart from her when we reach the stairs and I begin my ascent to my bedroom. Right now, I have control over absolutely nothing and that scares the absolute shit out of me. My entire career is in Selene’s hands but I wouldn’t entrust it to anyone else. I feel so mentally exhausted right now and the only thing I want is to shower and change out of last night’s clothes.

I reach the top of the circular staircase and to my bedroom. My house is not your usual type of house. Its gothic and Victorian style were designed specifically for me by an interior designer I hired. I’ve always been a fan of the darker things in life, starting and ending with horror movies. I enter my room which isfullof memorabilia from my favorite horror movies. There’s a huge mural on the wall of Ghostface fromScreamand I have shelves of collectors items fromChild’s Play,Halloween,Coraline, and a bunch of other iconic horror staples. Horror movies give me a rush that only my guitar has been able to give me.

As I walk through my bedroom and to the ensuite bathroom, I pass posters from my favorite movies that hang on the walls and relish in the familiarity of my own home after so much uncertainty. When I make it to the bathroom, I immediately turn the shower on and start stripping out ofmy clothes. I feel like I smell like regret and bad decisions, a horrible combination. I catch sight of myself in the mirror and immediately make a disgusted sound when I take in my smeared makeup and dark circles. I look like a final girl in one of my favorite movies and usually, the idea of being a fearless heroine that survives the serial killer would appeal to me, but right now it is not offering me much consolation.

While I wait for the water to heat up I impulsively check my phone as if I don’t already know what I’m going to find. The very small and naive part of me hopes that I won’t find hate and ridicule about myself on social media and that all of my problems will have gone away, but the logical and realistic side of me knows that won’t be the case. Still, I can’t help but peek to see if things have gotten even slightly better. I’ll take whatever I can get right now even if it’s just one comment in my favor.

I open Instagram and still, all over my feed is my naked, censored body underneath Slater’s. The worst part is that I can’t even deny that it’s me because not only is my face in clear view, but my tattoos are as well. As if the situation could not get any more humiliating, this picture is new. Well, new to me. It’s a screen capture of my face mid-orgasm. I immediately want to throw up and bile rises in the back of my throat as my gut twists and churns.

I must clearly want to make things worse for myself as I open the comments section and begin reading against my better judgment:

XOXOKISSES222:She’s so slutty it’s embarrassing

SATANSANGELSFAN:She has no self respect. Truly disgusting

ILOVEBRODYDRAKE:If I were the other girls, I would kick her out

ThunderstrikeForever:Slater’s dick is huge, holy shit!

Riley_XXX:Wow. She’s so irrelevant she probably orchestrated this whole thing to get relevant again. What a loser

JamesReynolds02:WHORE!!!!!!!!!

SLATERNICKSFAN:Props to him for fucking her like that

MacyLooooo:She definitely set this whole thing up. Nasty slut

I reread the hateful comments about myself over and over until tears well in my eyes and humiliation takes over. I can’t recover from this. This just destroyed my entire reputation as an artist and also as a woman. They’re bashing me and slut-shaming me because I made a mistake and didn’t know that mistake was being recorded, but they’re patting Slater on the back for fucking me senseless and because he has a nice dick? How is that fair?

I know the answer is that it isn’t fair. It’s part of being a woman and I hate this part. It’s the typical double standard of all things sexual in any way. If a woman does anything the least bit promiscuous or sexual in any way, she’s a disgusting whore who should be shunned by society, but if a man does the exact same thing, he gets a pat on the back and a thumbs up. I absolutely hate that.

What I hate just as much as the fact that this will be associated with my name for the rest of my life. The entire world has heard about this and as Dallas and Harvey have their team working to remove it, more and more people are spreading it around. It’s probably gotten all the way to Russia by now. I’m sure my absentee father has seen it and is just beaming with pride.Not.

I feel so ashamed, humiliated, and overall disgusted. The emotions are all so overwhelming and too much to bear. Themost powerful emotion I’m feeling is anger. I’m angry that Slater would do this to me for a fucking award. No matter how badly I’ve wanted this award, I wouldneverdo this to someone just to tip the scale in my favor.

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