Page 32 of The Pursuit of Happiness

I feel tears lining my eyes and I try to force them away, keeping my eyes glued to the shiny black floor, most likely from spilled liquor and nothing else. “It was just a hookup. It won’t happen again,” I keep my voice from cracking, forcing restraint in my words.

He reels like I just punched him in the face, “Are you serious?”

I nod, “I have to be.”

“What? Aria, how can you say any of this right now? I know you just felt something too,” he sounds so betrayed and I want so badly to undo everything I just said and be touching him again, but I can’t.

I don’t know what to say in response, so instead I decide to say nothing. I step around him and storm down the hall, not saying anything to him. I only glance up from the ground when I’m halfway down the hall. A loud crashing sound comes frombehind me and I jump, my whole body tensing in fear. I turn around reluctantly and find Sly with his fist buried in the wall, breathing raggedly. His head is down and he stands there, frozen.

He just punched a hole in the fucking wall. I didn’t think Sly was capable of that level of anger. It hurts to know that I’m the cause of said anger. I ruined this whole night. I want to calm him down, but I’m scared I’ll let that weak part of me that wants him win and I’ll end up proving the world right about me again. The only way to calm him down is to get him out of here. “Can we please leave now?” I ask, my voice shaking.

He takes a minute to respond and then he mutters, “Okay.”

I hurry down the hall, rushing back to the booth. I’ll leave getting the car up to him while I say goodbye. I’m not sure if Ivory is still here or if she left with Brody. When I make it back to the booth, all of the members of Thunderstrike are seated, calm with drinks in hand.

Rogan’s body tenses and his demeanor shifts when I come into view. He looks bitter again, his lips curling into a frown. I really can’t take any more drama for one night so I grab my purse and sling it over my shoulder. “Sly and I are heading out. It was nice meeting you,” I smile awkwardly at Nate and Miles.

Nate gives me a concerned look, “Is everything okay?”

I nod almost immediately, “Everything is fine. I’m just not feeling too well. I wanna sleep it off.”

“Feel better,” Miles frowns, worry etched into his features.

“Yeah,” Rogan adds, “feel better.” He doesn’t display a single ounce of sincerity on both his face or in his voice.

I give him a weak smile, “Thanks.” I’ll be polite. The last thing I want is more drama with Rogan after earlier.

I guess Ivory did go home with Brody. What a fucking disaster this has turned out to be. I rush out of the VIP booth and to the entrance where I’m sure Sly will be. I find him by the door,waiting for me. I hesitate as I walk over to him. He looks at me but quickly looks away, “Let’s go.”

I don’t take a step, “Aren’t the paps outside?”

He nods.

“Should we…hold hands or something?” I ask anxiously. I know he’s so mad at me right now that he probably can’t even stand to look at me, let alone hold my hand, but he sighs anyway, grabbing my hand before he leads me out of the club and to our limo.

Cameras flash in our faces and I keep my head down. It isn’t until we make it into the limo and the car starts moving that I open my mouth to speak, but I don’t know what to say. No words come out. Instead, I clamp my mouth shut and watch as Sly looks out the window, his jaw set in anger or irritation.

He doesn’t say a word to me and I don’t blame him. Not after I dismissed what happened between us like it meant nothing. It meant something, I just don’t know what. The only problem is that itcan’tmean anything because that would give the world all the ammo it needs against me. I was right to put distance between us. We have a business relationship and I won’t mix business with pleasure.

Still, I can’t help but feel disappointed at the loss of the pleasure we shared and the way his fingers felt inside of me. I miss most the feeling of his body pressed against mine, his warmth seeping through what little clothing I have on.

Slater Nicks is dangerous to my career and if I want to prove the media’s whore allegations wrong, I have to stay far far away from him. Even if it means hurting my own heart in the process.

Chapter 7

Aria

It’s been a weeksince I ruined Sly’s night at the club. A week since we’ve spoken and a week since he gave me one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve had to live with my guilt for a week with no means of relieving it aside from writing lyrics. In a way, I’m treating these new songs like they’re some kind of diary and I know it’s fucked up since Brody is gonna have to sing them, but I can’t bring myself to care. In all honesty, I don’t know what else to do with myself.

For a week it’s felt like I wake up, write lyrics, avoid any and all social media and gossip TV, rewatch the same horror movies, and then write more lyrics. Oh yeah, and I’ve been fucking around with new sounds on my guitar, all of which sound insanely dark and heavy, something Satan’s Angels hasn’t done before.

Now, I’m anxious and slightly exhausted from all of my incessant worrying and overthinking about literally every single thing, mainly Slater. Selene scheduled us all for a few hours in the studio to work on the new album. It’s the first time Satan’s Angels will be working with Sly which makes me nervous considering Sly and Brody didn’t really seem to get along. I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt that she’s not gonna be on the drums.

I throw on a pair of skinny jeans with no rips in them and pair them with a long sleeve, black mock neck. Don’t make fun of me! I know this is totally not giving rockstar, but I’m feeling self conscious these days. I don’t really feel like showing my body offanymore than I did in the sex tape. The last thing I need is the media attacking me for what I’m wearing and backing the whore allegations with photos of me in a skimpy top. I pull my hair into a low bun at the nape of my neck, messy tendrils spilling all over. I finish my look off with a thin layer of mascara and a zip up hoodie and then I’m on my way. I ruffle Taz and Kiko’s ears before I leave and make sure that Taz has extra food in his bowl because I know he tends to give me side eye for the remainder of the day when he thinks his bowl isn’t full enough.Spoiled little bastard.

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I HEAR VOICES COMINGfrom inside the studio. I know I’m probably the last one here since I woke up a little late today. My sleep schedule is all over the place. I oversleep, but don’t feel rested. I’m even starting to feel a little sick. I think the stress is getting to me.

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