Page 56 of The Pursuit of Happiness

“Oh?” Selene asks, suddenly interested in the more serious topic.

I hug my knees as I get more comfortable on the couch, “He makes me happy.” That’s all I say because that’s all Ineedto say. They’re my best friends and they know me well enough to know what it all means.

Selene gives me a satisfied look, “Finally.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Selene smiles gently, something she has never done with me, “Aria, you’ve been single for five years since your piece of shit ex tried to gaslight you into throwing away your dreams. He made you bitter and miserable and when you finally got the balls to leave, you claimed you were happier without him, but you were never happy to begin with.” Oh here we fucking go with Selene unlocking things I didn’t even realize about myself. “You used the drugs and the alcohol to mask the fact that you were never happy and you lived in this fantasy world where the three of you were on cloud nine. I think you started to realize how truly unhappy you were when Brody and Harvey got together and the band dynamic changed. You’ve been moping for months because the bubble around the way the three of you animals used to be popped and reality set in, and then all of a sudden, Slater comes around and you’re not mopey anymore.”

Ivory interrupts, “Well, she did wear the turtleneck.”

“Mockneck,” I correct, a bite to my tone.

Selene groans, “Ivory, shut up.” She looks back at me and smiles, “The sex tape was probably the worst thing to happen to you, but it may also be the best because it brought you andSlater together.”

I realize that she’s right. I’ve been so bitter about this tape. I let it control my life and ruin it, but it’s the best thing to happen to me because without it, I wouldn’t have Sly.

Selene crosses one leg over the other, pleased with her psychological evaluation, “Sly is the best thing that’s happened to you and you have that tape to thank.” She looks at Brody and Ivory before she adds, “I think we can all agree that while the road has been bumpy, this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. And not fake happy either. You’re really happy.”

A smile spreads across my lips as I realize how true her words are. I struggled with my own self image since that tape. I changed how I dressed because I wanted to please others. I changed how I acted for the same reason. But in doing all of that, I was never happy. I was actually denying myself happiness and last night when I decided to finally let myself be happy, I was. And I will not be giving it up anytime soon. “You’re right.”

Brody cheers, “Finally!”

Ivory beams, “We knew you’d end up together. Maybe not right away because we hated him, but like a couple of weeks later.”

I laugh because I can’t help it. “Do you think I fucked up with his parents?”

Selene shakes her head, “No. It was obvious they love you already.”

Ivory intercedes, “Okay, but we need to talk about what’s important.”

“Which is?” I ask, a brow raised. With Ivory, important could be a single errant hair or a runway show opportunity.

She sits up straighter, leaning towards me from her end of the circular couch, “How is the sex?”

I roll my eyes and sigh, “Seriously? That’s what you care about?”

“We need to know,” Brody shrugs, mischief on her face.

I shake my head, “It’s fucking amazing, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Ivory exclaims, “I knew it!”

“What have you guys done?” Brody asks, interest in her eyes.

My lip curls in distaste, “We’ve only had sex once.” I realize my mistake, “Once sober and not in a sex tape.”

“Okay, but what did you do?” Ivory presses.

Selene gives her an irritated look, “Why are we pressing her for details of her sex life?”

Brody gives Selene a look like the answer is obvious, “Because that’s what we do. Don’t let Aria fool you, when she found out about Harvey and I she harassed me for details.” Okay, I did do that.

Ivory raises a brow, “Selene, how come you don’t wanna talk about sex?”

Brody adds, “Yeah, and how come you never tell us anything aboutyoursex life?”

I’m intrigued now, not only because the subject is no longer me, but because the idea of Selene having sex gives me the same feeling I got when I learned teachers don’t actually live at school. “You have to be doing kinky shit.” My voice comes out so excited, I can barely contain myself. “What do you do?” I ask ardently.

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