Page 25 of The Masks We Wear

She snaps, “Well then I guess it’s a good thing I don’t give a shit what you believe.”

I smirk again and she finally looks up at me to catch sight of it.Her gaze flickers between my lips and my eyes before she forces her head back down. “Brody.”

“What?” She huffs, but this time it doesn’t sound aggressive, it sounds exhausted.

I lower my voice so that it comes out soothing if that’s even possible. I don’t know how to soothe or reassure or calm, it’s just not my thing. “What’s been up with you lately? Ever since the recording studio you’ve been smiling one minute and looking like you’re on the verge of tears the next. You did it today at dinner and you’re doing it now.”

She sighs. “You wouldn’t understand.” Her voice sounds detached and a bit hopeless and I find that I want to touch her, to reassure her maybe by placing a hand on her shoulder, I don’t know. That doesn’t seem right so instead, I keep my hands to myself.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t listen.”

She looks up at me and frowns. The look in her eyes is so broken I want to do any and everything in my power to fix it and to make it go away. “I’m just under stress, that’s all. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna fly off the rails and get all fucked up on drugs. I have a cup to pee in every week, remember? If that’s what you’re so worried about, you can go.”

My face is void of emotion. I’m pleased to hear that she’s not tempted to drink or do drugs but I’m not pleased over her feeling stressed and overwhelmed. “That’s not what I’m worried about,” I say quietly, and I watch as a swarm of thoughts circle around in her head. “What’s got you stressed? The tour?”

Brody throws her head back on a groan, “All of it.” She looks back up at me and her eyes glaze over. “The tour, my friends, my fans, my family, everything.” Her voice cracks on the last word but before any tears can fall, she wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her crew neck.

I knew her friends were partially to blame. I don’t know muchabout her fans and her family though. “What’s going on with your friends?” I probe.

She exhales and stays silent for a minute and just when I think she’s going to remain silent and not give me anything to work with, she finally speaks, “I knew when Selene told me I had to get sober that it would only be a matter of time until I was the odd man out of the group, and I was right. They’re my best friends and I love them but sometimes I feel like they don’t really know me. We get along so well when we’re all drunk or high and that’s what our entire friendship was built on. We don’t really know the sober versions of each other and it’s even harder when I’m the only sober one.” Her eyes remain on the piano keys, but it looks like she’s staring right through them. “I’m just questioning how long it’ll be before they shut me out of the group completely and decide I’m too boring for them and that they don’t like me sober. I saw it starting at the photoshoot and then it escalated at the studio. I’m afraid this tour is gonna be the end of the road for me.” Her voice completely shakes as she mutters the last statement.

I can’t resist any longer. I place my hand on her thigh lightly, hoping the touch will send some comfort or reassurance through her even though I have no business comforting or reassuring anyone. She jolts at my touch but makes no move to remove my hand or move away from me. “They care about you. They won’t just drop you. Once all three of you are sober, it’ll be fine. Don’t work yourself up over it. You’re going through some changes in your life that they aren’t going through and they don’t know what that feels like.”

She shakes her head and looks up at me and tears freely stream down her cheeks. I desperately want to wipe them away, but I resist. “You don’t get it. I’m already the odd man out. You saw how Aria reacted when I shit on her lyrics the other day and you saw how Ivory took her side. When we go on tour again, it’llonly get worse until I’m cut out completely. And once they cut me out, the fans won’t give a shit about me and I’ll just be boring Brody Drake again and not Sticks.”

I furrow my brows. “What do you mean boring Brody Drake? There’s nothing boring about you,” I protest.

She squeezes her eyes shut and more tears pour from her eyes. “My entire life I was average at everything. I passed classes but didn’t excel, I never won any awards, I never did anything exciting and nothing exciting ever happened to me. Every single aspect of my life was mediocre and what made it worse was the fact thatIam mediocre. I’m average sized, I weigh the average amount for a woman my size, I look average in appearance, I’m not gorgeous but I’m not ugly. There just isn’t anything special about me aside from the fact that I can play the drums and even at that I can’t even write decent lyrics.” Sobs start wracking through her body as she speaks. Every word is a lie and it infuriates me that she doesn’t even know it. She chokes on her next words, “When everyone realizes that sober Sticks is actually boring and average Brody Drake, my friends will get sick of me and move on, my fans won’t give a shit about me anymore, and all I’ll have left is my family that can’t stand me and this stupid fucking piano I can’t even make a decent melody on.”

“You’re wrong.” I assert. “There is not one single thing about you that’s average, Brody Drake. If the fans and your friends didn’t see it, they wouldn’t love and worship you. Hell, my little sister wouldn’t worship you.” I bring Lucy into the conversation as an extension of an olive branch. I don’t talk about myself and my personal life with Brody because I simply like keeping my information private and I also don’t have many people in my life that I share things with. I’ve never gotten this personal with anyone before, especially not a client, but I can’t help it when it comes to this broken blond seated beside me.

Her eyes are so bloodshot from crying, the deep blue color stands out and almost makes her eyes look like they’re glowing. I’ve never noticed how ethereal her eyes are before. I’ve never seen anything like them. “Your little sister listens to our music?” Her voice shakes from tears.

I nod. “Lucy loves Satan’s Angels. Of course, I didn’t know who you guys were until I signed your contract and from there, I put the pieces together that I’d be babysitting my little sister’s idol. If I told her she’d go absolutely insane.” I smile at the thought of Lucy’s excited little face, her jumping up and down in anticipation and pure joy. I miss that kid. I want to see her so badly, but I have another two and a half months to get through before that happens.

Brody’s tears slow and a small smile forms on her lips. “You didn’t tell her you were babysitting me?”

I shake my head. “Of course not.”

“Why?”

“Because I signed a non-disclosure agreement, and it also wouldn’t be very professional of me.” I admit.

Brody laughs. “Always so uptight.”

“One of us has to be.” I nudge her shoulder with mine and another small laugh escapes her.

She looks up at me as her laugh dies down and silence grows between us as our eyes find each other’s and time and our surroundings seem to vanish around us. I don’t know how long it is that I look in her eyes, unable to distance myself from her, my eyes flicking from her full lips to her eyes coated in lashes damp with tears.

Before I can think better of it, I cross a line I’ve never crossed before. I grab Brody’s face with one hand and bring her mouth to mine. I kiss her hard, like I’ve never kissed anyone before, tasting the saltiness of her tears on my tongue. She returns the kiss which only encourages me as I hungrily claim her lips likea man completely starved. I glide my tongue along her bottom lip, seeking entrance and she opens her mouth, her tongue finding mine. My other hand finds her waist and I turn her body towards mine. She shifts so that she straddles the bench and I tug her closer to me, never once breaking our kiss.

I pull my mouth away for a split second to whisper against her lips, “Nothing about you is average, Little Rockstar.”

She tries to respond but I crash my mouth back onto hers and find all thoughts of reason have left me. I grab a hold of her hips with both hands, pulling her towards the edge of the bench and don’t think anything of it. It’s like I’ve left my own body and something has possessed me. I’m unable to stop. I need to touch her, taste her. I won’t be satisfied until I do. I’ve never ever crossed this line with a client or been this desperate for a woman before but I can’t bring myself to care at all in this moment, as selfish as it is. I have her exactly where I want her, and I don’t plan on letting her go. At least not tonight.

BRODY

HE DRAGS ME DOWNto the edge of the bench and leans between my legs, still never letting me up for air, but I couldn’t care less. Who needs air when they’re kissing this man? I was attracted to Harvey before tonight. His personality may grate on my nerves at the best of times but there’s no denying his pure perfection. I may have imagined a time or two where I’d be in this exact position in this exact situation, but I never thought it would actually happen, the same way I never thought he’d come down here without a shirt on and displaying those perfect, chiseled abs tonight.

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