Page 65 of The Masks We Wear

The masks we wear

The masks we wear

My eyes zero in on her and her only. Her words, her song, the emotion in her voice as she sings her heart out. My heart beatsrapidly in my chest as I know her words are for me. She just told me she loved me in front of thousands of people and she doesn’t even know I’m here, that I came back for her and I’m never leaving again.

I heard her play the instrumental parts of the song but never the lyrics. The song is our story from start to finish and she just shared it with the world. The song ends on a broken chord by Aria and just before the lights go out, signaling the show’s end, Brody’s eyes flick down to mine and her jaw drops. I mouth to her I love you, but she doesn’t see it because the lights cut out, cutting off our connection.

Chapter 26

Brody

Harvey is here. Isaw him, looked into his black eyes just as the lights cut out and the show ended. He opened his mouth to say something or mouth something to me but I couldn’t see. He’s here, but why? Why did he come back after everything that happened between us?

“B, we gotta go,” Ivory whispers into my ear and I realize then that I was frozen in my spot, seated on the stool to the drumset. I was so caught off guard by Harvey’s appearance that I forgot where I was and what I’m supposed to be doing. I nod, getting off the stool and walking off stage with the girls.

When we make it off stage, they wrap their arms around me and I hug them tightly. “That was fucking amazing,” Aria beams.

“I’m so proud of you, B,” Ivory says affectionately.

I relax into their embrace, “Thank you.” I pull back and look at them both in the eyes. “I was so scared that if I showed you two who I really was on the inside, that you wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I was scared you’d kick me out of the band and replace me.”

Aria shakes her head, “Brody, we love you. You’re irreplaceable.”

Ivory nods her agreement, “We all became people we weren’t because of the drugs and the alcohol. We got lost chasing a high that we could only have once when the only high we really needed was the high of having each other. We’re family, Brody. You’re always safe to be yourself with us.”

My eyes glisten with tears at her sincerity. “I love you guys.I’m sorry for being such a fuck up, but I hope I fixed it.”

Aria laughs, “You fixed it, don’t worry.”

Ivory leans in closer to us, “Let’s make a deal. From now on, we’re all completely honest with each other, and completely ourselves with each other.”

I nod immediately, “Deal.”

Aria grins, “Deal.”

I take a step back from my friends, knowing there’s one more thing I have to do before we have any celebrations of any kind. “I have to go do something.”

“Would it have anything to do with the babysitter that appeared in the VIP section?” Ivory teases.

I nod, “Yes, it has everything to do with him.” I smile at them before I turn around and hurry toward my dressing room. I know he’s in there without having to ask. He’s in there waiting for me the way he always has after my shows.

I stop in front of my door taking a deep breath before twisting the knob and pushing it open. I step inside and find him, as expected, seated at my couch the way he always is when I enter my dressing rooms after a show. My heart sinks when my eyes land on him. I lean against the door for support, tears lining my eyes. I’m overwhelmed by emotion. I never thought I’d see him again. I remember what happened between us in my dressing room months ago, when we came together for the first time. My cheeks warm at the memory of how good his hands felt on my body, his skin on mine. But then I remember what happened the last time we were in my dressing room alone together. How he told me all I ever was to him was sex and left me behind like I never meant anything to him at all, at least not in the way he meant to me. My face falls at the pain, at the emptiness I’ve felt inside me since he left me a little over a week ago.

He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Hi.”

I scoff, “Hi? That’s all you have to say to me?”

He shakes his head, rising from where he sits to stand before me. I notice right away that he doesn’t wear his signature white button down with black slacks. He wears a black button down with jeans, something I’ve never seen him wear before. I would question it if I didn’t want to scratch his eyes out right now. He walks around the glass coffee table and closer to me but I put a hand out, signaling for him to stop. I don’t trust myself to be this close to him. I worry I might let the part of me that misses him overrule the part of me that’s angry at him. He stops immediately and allows emotion to show on his face, something else I’m not quite used to with him. “I have a million things to say to you, I just don’t know how to say them.”

I roll my eyes, “I don’t know why you’re here then.”

He takes a deep breath before releasing it, “I’ve been going over dozens of ways to say what I have to say to you and none of them feel truly right. They don’t erase what I did.”

I cross my arms over my chest, “Nothing is gonna erase what you did or what you said.” I force my tears back down, refusing to shed any more for him.

He softens, “Brody-”

“Don’t. Why are you here? You made it clear I didn’t mean anything to you and that you wanted nothing to do with me. So why are you here now?” I snap, cutting him off.

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