Page 133 of Where Darkness Falls

Then I release the flower, allowing it to drift back to the ground.

As I exit the courtyard, I trap that girl’s voice back behind the mental barriers where I left her years ago, so she can no longer haunt me. She’s gone and has been gone for a long time. Sighing, I force the emotions I experienced at Maeva’s rejection behind that barrier as well. I know she’s in shock, and clung to who made her feel the most comfortable—the most safe—but I wish it’d been me.

However, it wasn’t?—

I wasn’t.

It’ll never be me, and I think I’ve known that from the beginning.

Now, I recognize it.

I’m the High General—weapon of Zulgalros and feared throughout Celestae…

And a wraith will never deserve such beauty.

Black smoke rolls out from the windows of the large estate.

Someone grabs my hand, pulling me away from the burning house.

Their features are blurred, but their hand is large, holding mine tightly as they lead me forward.

“You must run when I give the signal,” the strong male voice says.

“I don’t understand,” my voice trembles.

He plants a soft kiss atop my head. Then, I’m shoved away from him, even though something within me wants to stay by his side.

“Go!” he commands. “Now!”

I hesitate.

“RUN!”

I jolt awake in bed,cold sweat soaking my brow. I frantically scan the room, but find nothing out of the ordinary except for the sleeping Galrosan on the small couch in the corner of the large chamber.

Virgil hasn’t leftmy side for even a moment after my emotional collapse six days ago.“I won’t leave you alone to deal with this,”he says every day that I’ve insisted that I’m fine. However, he sees past the lie that even I try to convince myself is true. In full transparency, it’s nice to have someone else in this large room when the roaming spirits are restless at night. Since he’s been here, I haven’t seen Cara’s apparition again. The last sighting of her spirit was the night before my meltdown. Similar to the first time, her words were cruel and unforgiving.

Perhaps that’s what truly pushed me over the edge that day.

The warring emotions I felt were suffocating. I was overjoyed by the feat I’d accomplished… until the Cales’ words echoed—reminding me of how I’d failed to save them. The thought that I had access to this part of my ability the entire time I was in Aurelius but didn’t recognize it… The notion devastated me.

So I collapsed—crippled by grief and disappointment. In my despair, I mentally went back to that day in Aurelius when I found their broken bodies, their blood on my hands for days after because I thought I deserved to wear that shame. It replayed in my mind over and over again.“I could’ve saved them,”I cried for what felt like hours.

When Emyr tried to carry me away, I couldn’t allow it. Not after the horror I saw written in every feature. He was terrified of what was happening to me, and if Domhnall happened to be lurking… I couldn’t risk his safety or the wrath of the king.

Not to mention, I didn’t want him to see when I truly fell apart—when the waves of grief surely drowned me. He carries so many burdens on his shoulders—it’s unfair to ask him to also harbor mine. I know I hurt him by choosing Virgil. The shift in his emotions was so palpable that I couldn’t bear to look at him and see the pain I’d wrought.

Beyond training, Emyr hasn’t visited, nor has he allowed me to explain myself. The amusement that typically twinkles in his bright eyes is no longer there. He’s been quite cruel as of late, especially anytime Virgil speaks with me. Then, when it’s time to escort me back to my chambers, he no longer accompanies me or the others—perhapsthat’s for the best.

Perhaps he finally realizes that I’m an unnecessary complication that he doesn’t need in his life.

I sigh, turning my head. Virgil is still sleeping soundly. His usually tense features are softer in the light gray glow of the morning. For some reason, it doesn’t feel strange that he’s here. If Emyr were the one asleep, I’m not sure I’d feel quite as at ease. It’s not that he makes me uncomfortable. On the contrary, it’s quite the opposite. The unease is from the tiny flutters in my stomach that happens anytime he’s near. I care deeply for both of them, but my relationships with the Galrosans couldn’t be more different. Emyr triggers a giddiness within me, while Virgil offers me stability.

Quite frankly, I’m perplexed with the ease I feel around Virgil when it comes to my vulnerability. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t make quippyremarks or maybe it’s because I don’t feel judgment from him. Somehow, I know that he can be trusted. Yet, there aren’t flutters in my stomach when I’m around him. I just feel peace—protection.

The last several days, he’s spoken kindly to me and held my hand until I fell asleep, promising that all the ways we’ve been wronged would be corrected one day.

I don’t believe him, but I still find comfort in his words:

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