Page 57 of Where Darkness Falls

“As you command, Rosey,” I say.

Then, I raise us both onto Danté’s back, setting her down in front of me on the saddle.

“How dare yo—” she starts to say… That is, until I reach around her, grabbing hold of the reins. I urge Danté into a canter before she attempts to jump off. Riordan comes up on my left, Laisren on my right, and Virgil rides on the flank. I look down and find her gripping onto the saddle horn as her knuckles turn white. There’s a slight tremor in her legs and shoulders as she glances at the ground moving beneath us. “What is it, Rosey? Are you scared of heights?” I jest.

“No,” she retorts. “I’ve just never been on a horse before—especially not one as large as Danté.”

If I could pinch the bridge of my nose, this would be the most opportune time. She’s giving me a headache with the whiplash of emotions she’s currently experiencing. I should make Danté go faster just to continue to get a rise out of her, but my mother taught me to be agentleman. So, I slow Danté down to a light canter, which allows her hands to relax slightly.

“Why in all Celestae would you desire your own shadow horse if you’ve never ridden before?” I ask.

“The answer is quite simple, High General,” she replies. “I simply didn’t want to ride on one with you.”

I laugh because what else can I do?

It’s not that I’m not used to hearing others’ fear or hatred of me, but something about the way she says it makes the knife twist a little deeper.

The sound of what she assumes is my amusement causes her to level me with a glare that probably makes Siorai tremble.

“Do you truly despise me so much that you’d risk your own safety?” I ask.

“Yes,” she replies without hesitation. Then she turns her attention back to the road ahead.

“Why?” I ask, unsure if I want to know how she views me.

“If you truly wish to know, you represent everything that’s immoral and cruel. You blindly serve a king that only wishes to see destruction. So, forgive me if I don’t desire to cozy up to the legendary High General,” she retorts.

My chest tightens as her words hit their mark. She sees me as I’ve always seen myself: a destroyer. Yet she doesn’t cower before me or grovel for my approval. She states her opinions of me so unabashedly, and I can’t disagree.

“So I’m legendary?” I jest, dismissing my feelings. “No wonder you were stunned by our arrival.”

“Your ego is insufferable,” she states flatly.

“Perhaps, but at least I’m not blinded by my own prejudices,” I reply. “Despite what you might think of me, I’m not immoral. I wasn’t given a choice in becoming a monster, but at least I know what I am and don’t run from it. You’re hiding your fears behind your family’s deaths because perhaps you’re afraid that deep down you’re a monster, too.”

“I’m not hiding, nor am I like you,” she says, her voice warbling.

“The fallen soldiers’ families might disagree with you,” I deadpan.

She pauses for a long moment, drumming her fingers along the saddle horn.

“Were you?” she asks.

I swallow down the knot in my throat.

My mind always returns to my first assignment.

The first time I had to take a life will haunt my dreams for all my years:

The color draining from their eyes.

Their screams?—

Stop.

“We all have darkness within us, Rosey,” I say, clearing my throat. “But it doesn’t have to be who we are.”

We makeit to Delereauh just as the caliginous sky spreads across the horizon. The journey thus far is uneventful, even when we stopped to eat a few hours earlier.

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