Of course, it would’ve been useful if I could at least remember their names or my life with them, but I do not. My memories begin on the day that the Cales found me wandering the streets of Aurelius on a cold winter’s day. They found me, nurtured me, and brought me into their home as one of their own children. I will always be grateful to them for their overwhelming kindness.
I clear my throat, hoping Cara won’t notice the glistening sheen to my eyes. As close as I am with her, I never want her to see me in a state of weakness… At least what I deem to be weakness. I delusionally tell myself that I can handle these situations on my own.
Why bother her when I have everything under control?
“Ah, but I already have you,” I reply as playfully as I can muster. “One pain in the arse is more than enough for me.”
A slow grin spreads across her face.
She pushes against my shoulder, guffawing as if my remark is the funniest thing she’s ever heard.
“Well, I wouldn’t have to be one if you weren’t so stubborn about enjoying some revelry,” she teases.
I squirm in my chair. “I do enjoy revelry,” I retort. “My version is just different from yours.”
Cara rolls her eyes, giving me a knowing look.
“Maeva, you’re my sister. I know you,” Cara says affectionately. “You are talented, kind, and overprotective. You have so many endearing qualities that draw others to you, but I am going to say this with love… You wouldn’t know how to find merriment, even if it smacked you in the face.”
I groan.
She really wants to have this conversation…again.
“Honestly, Maeva. The only thing I have ever seen you do for yourself is read books late into the night, or garden the plants for The Violet Lily,” she continues.
“I find it entertaining, and I enjoy their company,” I retort.
Cara crosses her arms over her chest. “You are aware that the characters in your books don’t count as socializing,” she says incredulously. “They aren’t meant to be your companions any more than if your flowers could speak to you or offer you guidance.”
“Which is why they are the best kind of company—silent, except for in my head,” I say.
“How would you know? You never allow anyone the opportunity to get to know you,” Cara groans.
My jaw tightens. “I find most interactions aren’t worth my time or energy,” I say through clenched teeth.
Lie.
“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER GIVEN ANYONE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KNOW YOU!” Cara yells.
I stumble backward, shocked at her outburst. Cara rarely raises her voice, especially at me. I know she means well, but I’m not like her. Social interactions have never been my strong suit, as I’m not well-versed in making small talk. Which is an issue, because small talk topics seem to be the only bits of information I’m willing to give.
In order to become acquainted with someone, I first have to be vulnerable. I’d have to be willing to lay my heart bare—allowing someone else to see all the good and bad within.
I’m just not willing to allow that.
Perhaps I am broken.
I force my gaze downward as tears silently fall down my cheeks.
“I am not like you,” I say, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m a Null, Cara. An orphan. A nobody.” As I dare to glance at my sister, I find her eyes have softened as a small frown creases at the corners of her lips. “Idon’t have an ability like you. Once others realize that, they will turn their backs on me. You know as well as I do that abilities matter to Malvorians. It isn’t about who you are as much as it is about what you bring to the table. It’s impossible to ask for a seat when I already bring nothing of value.”
I release a strangled breath.
There it is.
The truth to my fears.
Cara’s ability manifested slowly as a child. I’m told she was eleven when her Malvorian signet of a red flame formed on the side of her neck. Siorai gifted each of the four kingdoms a signet tattoo to distinguish which one someone might belong to. Malvoria is the red flame; Zulgalros is the black head of a horse; Briezius is the blue trident; Abeautrox is the image of a brown mountain. Within each signet are an array of abilities one can wield. Cara’s ability is reading emotions.