Page 31 of Dead to Me

I didn’t hold out much hope for the next acolyte to come over, this one a tall but heavy-looking man of probably forty-five.But this guy actually turned out to be gold, because he mentioned that his daughter was with him, in an obvious brag.

‘Obviously, with all the championship stuff, she’s more into athletics than cricket,’ he added.‘But she has to have a day off sometimes.’

I instantly went from disinterested to laser-focused.‘Oh, sounds like she’s training at a high level?’

The guy looked delighted that I’d asked.‘Yes, she’ll be at the World Championships in August.’

‘That’s awesome.’It was easy to say it like I meant it, because this was someone who had a serious chance of having known Holly.

And maybe Tanya, too,I thought.

‘You know, we should probably introduce Tess and Aria,’ Dad said, totally understanding the assignment.‘My god-daughter is an obsessive rower.I feel as though they’d get on, and it might be nice for Aria to actually socialise for a change.’

His friend– whose name I honestly can’t even remember, Reid– seemed enthusiastic about this idea.It then turned into serious excitement the moment he realised I was apparently both a Lauder and an Olympian in the making.Without me needing to say a word, the guy led me over to where his wife and daughter had a picnic blanket spread on the grass outside the boundary.

His wife was long and leggy like he was and had linen trousers that I remember thinking were staying unbelievably creaseless considering she was hunkered on the ground.She gave me a smile and then lowered her sunglasses to look back at the match, the only one of the three who actually seemed interested in the cricket.

Tess turned out to be in training for the heptathlon.She had a tall, strong physique that was much more like mine than Holly’s, and a cheerful, slightly self-centred way of talking to everyone that reminded me of the particularly rich and talented girls from Columbia.

She talked at me for some while about her achievements and was actually pretty easy to steer onto the subjects I wanted.After a little while, I told her I’d made friends with someone whose girlfriend had been a promising athlete.I said James Sedgewick’s name, and Tess’s eyes widened in the way of someone who has a personal investment.

‘Oh, god, poor Holly,’ she said.And her reaction was at that fascinating point between emotional andThis is one of my favourite subjects.‘I used to talk to Holly at meet-ups and ask her advice on running.Because, you know, she was good.Genuinely talented.’She blinked.‘I learned things from her.’

‘Aww, I’m really sorry,’ I said.‘It must be so hard, losing a friend like that.’

Tess nodded, her mouth twisting slightly.

She wasn’t a friend, I thought with a buzz of satisfaction.She’s got something to say.

Tess glanced away at the match, half-heartedly applauding.It looked like someone had just been bowled out, and I did my best to applaud, too, while having no idea whether this was our side or theirs.

‘I mean, we weren’t the closest ever,’ she went on, dropping her voice.Her parents were now talking to each other, and I guessed Tess didn’t want them hearing this.‘I didn’t hang out with her or anything.Like, I think she saw me as competition after a while, yeah?And you know, she wasn’ttotallythis sweet person they all went on about in the news.’

‘Oh, really?’I asked.Then I added, ‘People are so rarely that perfect, though, are they?Everyone just hates talking badly of the dead.Which seems… disingenuous.’

‘Exactly,’ Tess said.

‘Interesting that she saw you as competition,’ I said.‘Did she try to stop you succeeding?’

‘Well, she refused to keep helping me with my running after I started placing in races,’ Tess said with a hint of a smile.‘And she was pretty annoyed that I was given more funding than she was at one point.’

I’d been hoping for more, obviously, Reid.And it occurred to me immediately that if I’d been Holly, an orphan who’d apparently burned through her inheritance on paying theremaining fees on a public school, I’d probably feel frustrated that someone whose parents could have bought a whole athletics track got more funding.

I think my doubt must have shown, because Tess quickly threw in, ‘And she had a temper, too.The whole good-sportswoman thing fell down in the changing rooms.She got tripped in a race once and helped the other girl up, checked she was OK.But afterwards she kicked a locker door so hard it had to be replaced.’Tess gave a much more obvious smile.‘And she wasvileto her boyfriend sometimes.’

‘To James?’I asked, with genuine surprise.

‘Absolutely,’ Tess said.‘We’d see it sometimes, out on the field.Her having a go at him and him just taking it.He’s too soft-hearted to argue back.And once I overheard a whole row up close.She was furious with him because he’d uploaded something and tagged her in it and it made her look bad.She was spitting.It didn’t matter how many times he said he’d taken it down now, she kept on going.’

Now this, Reid, was finally something useful, and exactly the reason it made sense to talk to someone who didn’t idolise Holly.

But it also made me feel really uncomfortable.Do you ever feel like that, Reid?Because here I am, trying to find Holly’s killer, and all the while I’m kind of putting her on trial, too.Looking at the reasons someone might have killed her like she might have deserved it, even though I don’t think anyone deserves to be murdered.Least of all a talented, twenty-one-year-old orphan.

Anyway, I decided not to push any further on the Holly angle with Tess.It was partly that weird discomfort and partly pragmatism.The last thing I wanted to do was seem too curious and for word to get round.Kit and his gang might not be here, but they’d probably know people who were.

What I asked next was… it was maybe stupid.But we’d come this far towards the subject that I could feel it opening out in front of me and just drawing me on.The whole thing within touching distance.

So I sighed, and said, ‘It’s so sad seeing another Cambridge athlete die, anyway.There was the hockey player too last year.Tanya… Morris, was it?Something like that?I read about it, and it was just the worst.’

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