Page 5 of Dead to Me

And luckily, I knew exactly what to ask, because you’d asked it of me.

‘I guess– I know that after a stressful time, people can sometimes behave differently,’ was what I chose, in the end.‘Particularly if they’re under pressure.Can you imagine how those factors might have made her act out of character?’

Cordelia lifted her chin, her jaw set.‘Holly wasn’t a pushover, and of all the drugs she would have taken, that was the last one.It was what Rheanna took.Like, she would never have risked even atry, never mind enough to OD.’And then Cordelia looked around her, again, to check the empty courtyard– even though nobody in their right mind would be standing out there in that cold– and she said, ‘And the thing is, the day she died, she messaged me to say that something had happened.Something really bad.And she needed advice about what to do.’

4.Seaton

Seaton stepped back out on to Midsummer Common, the Krug paid for and the table abandoned.It was the kind of thing he would normally have been anguished over but he found himself caring not a jot about it.

Everything seemed overexposed outside, fear turning a perfect summer’s day into something stark and unsettling.Fear, and a terrible sense of guilt.

If something had happened to Anna, Seaton knew he was complicit in it.There was no question.He’d been involved in all of this from the start, and at no time had he stepped in to try to protect her.

You tried to protect yourself, though, didn’t you?he thought wretchedly.You did that, as usual.

He found himself remembering that one, singular dinner at Rules of London where she’d turned up looking the part: elegant navy cocktail dress on, and hair beautifully styled and dyed a rich, full blonde.He’d narrowed his eyes at her, and she’d laughed, and said, ‘OK, OK, I do want something.I actually want your help setting up an undercover identity as a Cambridge student.But I think you’ll be on board.’

Seaton’s initial reaction had been one of discomfort.His position as Emeritus Fellow of Christ’s College was not one he was inclined to take lightly.He might not have full duties, but he was still very much involved with the college, and highly respected within the university as a whole.If she was expecting him to jeopardise his standing and reputation by lying for her, then things were going to get very awkward.

But then Anna had begun to explain how she’d been asked to look into Holly Moore’s death, and in spite of his reservations, he’d been fascinated.It just hadn’t been for the reasons she might have predicted.

Seaton knew all about Holly’s death.Philip Sedgewick, the father of Holly’s boyfriend James, was one of Seaton’s oldest friends.The incident at Trinity May Ball had torn into the Sedgewick family.

Philip and his wife, Marcie, had mourned Holly in their own right; their son had been barely able to function for months after her loss, and was far from back to his old self a year later.He felt as though he’d let her wander off and die.

That night in Rules, listening to his daughter talk, Seaton had felt a flicker of hope.If Anna was right, and Holly had been murdered, James would be freed of his guilt.He’d have someone else to blame.

And so he’d listened, transfixed, as Anna took him through details of the post-mortem and the extent of the police investigation.

‘Holly’s friend Cordelia is absolutely right,’ Anna had told him, her eyes alive.‘The amount of ketamine in Holly’s blood was more than double the lowest likely dose that would have killed a woman of her weight.Like a seriously big overdose.Doing the math on it at Holly’s bodyweight, that comes out at around five grams, too.So that’s a hundred and fifty pounds’ worth of ketamine, all injected by one person during a small window of time.’She’d raised an eyebrow.‘Like, who would do that?Holly didn’t have money like some of these others, and I don’t even see why one ofthemwould choose to buy that much ket for fun.For reference, a tab of MDMA like all of her friends probably took, would have cost around twenty pounds in Cambridge at that point and been aloteasier tohide in a bag or something than the syringe you’d need for a ketamine injection.’

Seaton had blinked at her.‘I, er… how have you done all your workings?’

‘Oh.By her weight and a calculation of blood volume,’ Anna had said with a shrug.‘Cordelia Wynn is a medic and I got her to go over it all.She agrees.I’ve also checked that math against known amounts that have caused an overdose versus concentrations found in blood.It all holds up.’

‘Right,’ Seaton had said.‘That’s… good work.’

‘And there were two injection sites on her arm, too,’ Anna had continued.‘Police statements say she’d taken nothing before she left the group, and I’m pretty sure that’s true because they wouldn’t have wanted to stand in a group in a very obvious place while one of them injected a load of ket.It’s unbelievably risky.If shehadbeen going to take something with them, it wasn’t going to be ketamine anyway.The group is into MDMA and occasional cocaine.So, fully sober at ten fifteen, the last time anyone saw her.’She’d paused to finally eat a mouthful of her mackerel pâté and drink a gulp of wine.‘And we know it was ten fifteen because the police checked what time the burlesque show wrapped up, which is where they last saw her.All good?’

Seaton had taken a moment to process all of this, and said, ‘Yes, OK.’

‘But,’ Anna had said with energy, ‘she was found floating face down at ten forty-eight.Now ketamine takes at least half an hour to wear off once it hits.You’re not going to take a second shot of it unless you feel it fading.It oftenisused in multiple doses because of its short half-life.But assuming that Holly left them all at ten fifteen, then had to go and find her supplier,thenfind a quiet spot to inject herself… there wasn’ttimefor it to have worn off.She can’t have dosed up beforeten twenty at the absolute earliest.And somehow, less than half an hour later, we’re expected to believe that she’d had time for it to hit, then wear off, to inject herself again with a huge dose, fall into the water and drown, and be discovered.’

It had taken Seaton a few moments more to work through those timings for himself, but he’d realised that she was right.And he’d found himself watching her with a renewed sense of her intelligence.It gave him a rush of pride mixed with a twist of regret that he was only getting to see her in her element now, when she was twenty-six years old.

He’d nodded, unable to keep from smiling, and she’d gone on to explain the other significant facts: the fact that nobody had ever found out who’d given Holly the ketamine.The fact that Holly had messaged Cordelia the day of the ball, explaining that she was preoccupied with something that had happened which she was seeking advice over.And the fact of there being only four real suspects.

‘Cordelia Wynn is exactly the kind of person you want as an informant,’ she’d said.‘Right after it happened, she got hold of a list of Trinity May Ball guests.And having done a seriously thorough job of cross-checking, she’s positive Holly only knew four people from the university who were actually there that night.So given her message about something having happened, our pool of possible murderers is almost definitely just these four students.’

‘Who are they?’Seaton had asked her immediately, feeling a twist in his stomach.

What if she thinks James might have done it?he thought.

At that point, for the first time, Anna had looked hesitant.‘So this is where there might be a conflict of interest.I don’t know.They’re all Pitt Club members, and a lot of the parents are, too.’She studied his face for a few seconds.‘The students are Kit Frankland, Ryan Jaffett, Esther Thomas andJames Sedgewick.James’s dad was in your year at Cambridge.I know you didn’t like most of them, but presumably you still speak to a few…?’

Seaton sighed.‘I guessed James might be on the list.’He drank a hefty mouthful of Barolo and swallowed it before going on.‘Philip Sedgewick is the one Pitt Club member I still talk to.He’s my oldest friend, and a good one.’

‘Oh.’Seaton had watched his daughter’s face fall, briefly, before she masked it with her usual half-smile.‘OK, that’s not going to work.’

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