Page 89 of Dead to Me

Shit.

Reid still couldn’t explain exactly why he’d felt the need to change his number after the break-up.He could easily have blocked Anna.But somehow the fear that she would call him from another phone and trick him into talking to her had been heart-pounding.

Looked at now, in the cold light of day, it had been a mad thing to do.Why had he been so afraid of her contacting him?

But he knew the answer.He’d been afraid of experiencing all the feelings he’d had since yesterday afternoon.He’d been afraid of having to accept that he’d been the one in the wrong, and that he’d ruined everything.

If he’d just kept his bloody number she’d have been able to ring him.She’d been calling from a totally different phone.

‘I have to ask,’ Dom said, his expression apologetic.‘With the email to you, and the call… You definitely haven’t seen her since her disappearance?’

Reid suddenly understood why Dom had wanted to tell him this in person.He needed to make sure that Reid wasn’t involved in his ex’s disappearance.

‘No,’ Reid answered.‘Not at all.I changed that number eighteen months ago, which is why she had no idea I wouldn’t answer.If I hadn’t, she might not be missing.’He gave Dom a very steady look.‘I really let her down, Dom.I can be a judgemental prick sometimes, as you know.And the fallout of that was not being there for her when she needed it on Monday night.But when her dad came and asked for my help, I realised he was right.She was in danger.’

‘All right.Thanks.’Dom blew air out, then nodded.‘I’d appreciate your help with Kit Frankland.We’ve found out something about him we think might be relevant.’

‘What’s that?’Reid asked.

‘Holly Moore was the second young woman whose death he was peripherally involved in,’ Dom said.‘There was another girl, back when he was at school.She was sixteen, and she apparently hanged herself.’

Reid felt a wash of cold.Whatever Anna had said about being wary of Kit, there was no question that she’d been caught under his spell.She wouldn’t have wanted to believe he was a killer.Not really.

He could see in Dom’s expression that he was thinking the same, and realised that he must have read all of Anna’s email by now.He might even know more than Reid did, and that made Reid feel a strange pang of jealousy.

It had been written for Reid, at least at first.It was his to understand.

‘If someone can make me a coffee, I’ll be ready in ten,’ he said, and went to find a quiet corner to read the rest.

35.Anna

The train ride back to Cambridge was an anxious one.With theEnsigncreditcard now handed back, I had only a whisker of a gap between me and my overdraft, and a host of things that needed to be paid for.

I knew I’d have to find the money for hair and make-up for tonight’s ball somehow.It was either that or arrive looking like someone who didn’t fit in.The rest of May Week is shaping up to be horrifically expensive, too.Unless I solve it tonight and can just go home, obviously.

Which I’m going to.I’m going to.

But cashflow is still important.

I realised I was going to have to ask Dad for help, however much the idea made me cringe.And I was going to have to do it at the same time as admitting to him that I’d been the cause of his friend’s son ending up in hospital.

I messaged asking if I could drop in on him at eleven fifteen, which would just give me time to get off the train from London and cycle over to see him, before making it home to shower.Hair and make-up was booked for 1 p.m.until 3.Honestly, this dressing-up stuff is pretty much a career.

Dad messaged a ‘Great idea’ back, and I spent the cycle over rehearsing how to both tell him about James and ask him for money without admitting that I’d been kicked off the story.I wasn’t willing to actually lie to him, so it was all going to have to be about obfuscation.

(And I can already hear you snorting to yourself about me using that word.I basically put it in on purpose for you becauseI know it’ll remind you of that ridiculous defence lawyer in the sex-trafficking case, not that you’ll be reading this, of course.)

I hadn’t really thought much about whether Dad had anything to tell me in return, but I realised he might as I parked my bike and saw him waiting for me on the porch with a troubled, closed-off look on his face.

Just then, something about him– the gleaming blue waistcoat, illuminated by the warm yellow sunshine– made him look like some kind of a lord, waiting to judge his subjects.Like he was a class above.Unassailable.

‘I had a phone call with Philip Sedgewick this morning,’ he said, immediately, before he’d even let me inside.‘It was… well, it was a pretty uncomfortable experience.’

‘Oh.’I felt like I was suddenly standing on something slippery.‘You mean… because of what happened to James?’

‘Of course because of what happened to James,’ he said, slightly impatiently.At that point he stood back and let me in, but then walked ahead of me without turning round until he said, ‘We… everything we talked about early on… the care you were supposed to take over him…’

It was a horrible feeling, Reid.I’d come looking for support and now felt as though Dad was the personification of all my guilt over James.And on top of that, I was sticky from cycling and standing there with my helmet in my hands in his perfect kitchen feeling as though I didn’t belong.

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