Page 19 of With Love, Alex

8

Moving On

“Now that thekids are off playing with all their new toys, we can finally talk,” Taylor said peering at me over her coffee cup.

Unsure what she wanted to talk about, I took a sip of my coffee stalling. It’d been close to two months since the wreck, and I was still rocking my pink cast. Taylor knew everything that had happened that weekend. Once I got home and assured Mason that I was fine and that nothing bad would ever happen to me again, we snuggled the rest of the day and night. My words hadn’t reassured Mason in the slightest, every night I found him sneaking into bed with me and holding my hand as he fell back to sleep.

The guilt of not being able to be there when Mason got home still ate at me. The worry that had been in his eyes for a full week straight and that I still got a glimpse of every now and then wrecked me. We were a team, and I’d let him down.

Needless to say, Ryan and I were back to one hundred percent. He was there for Mason and me when no one else could. Actually, all my friendships blossomed as I had to rely on my friends more in that first week than I ever had before. It made me realize that asking and having to accept help wasn’t such a bad thing.

Jenner and I had become great friends. Once I finally woke up in the hospital and could stay awake longer than a couple of minutes, one of my doctors informed me that they’d be keeping me overnight since I had a concussion and that it would be advisable that I didn’t fly back home. That was not what I wanted to hear. The only thing I wanted was to be home with Mason, so I may have freaked out and panicked until Reeves came to the rescue offering to drive me back to Missouri. I wasn’t sure then or now how he managed to convince the production of his movie to let him off for the week, but somehow, he succeeded, and I loved him dearly for it.

After the first time I woke up, Matt never came back to the hospital, and I hadn’t heard from him. At first, I thought it might have been a dream, but when I asked Jenner, he grudgingly confirmed Matt had been there.

“That cup isn’t going to refill itself.” Taylor laughed, her voice tinkling as I tipped my cup draining it of the one drop that was left.

“I don’t know what you want to talk about. You know everything.” And she did, so why was she giving me a look that said I might not know everything. I wasn’t sure how that was possible since it was my life and she lived so far away. What could she know that I didn’t?

Peering into the living room to see Jack and Ryan watching whatever football game that was on, Taylor turned her attention back to me with sad eyes. Getting in late the night before, we hadn’t had a chance to talk, but we’d talked every day on the phone since my accident. I’d been cleared to fly from my doctor, but I wasn’t ready to fly just yet, so Ryan and I had split the driving and entertained Mason as we traveled the thirteen hours it took us to get from Missouri to Florida. It’d been a long day, and I was happy that we were staying for a week instead of having to drive back in only a couple of days.

“Have you been on the Internet much?” Taylor asked nibbling on the side of her finger. Right away, I knew she was nervous. Nibbling on the skin around her nails was something Taylor only did when she was anxious.

“No,” I answered shaking my head. “You know how the month of December is. In my free time, I’ve been shopping or wracking my brain trying to figure out what to get Mason and everyone else for Christmas. Or I’ve been on the phone with you, Jenner, Anna, or Becca.”

“I still can’t get over the fact you met and became friends with Anna Jenson and Becca Matthews. I hate what you went through with Matt, but if it weren’t for him, you’d never have met them or Reeves. It blows my mind that while I’ve been stuck here, you’ve been hanging out with celebrities. If it were anyone else but you, I’d hate them.” We both laughed at that. Taylor didn’t hate anyone. She was one of the nicest people I’d ever met, and I didn’t think it was in her to hate a soul.

“I think they feel sorry for me. Why else would they befriend me?”

“Because you’re awesome. I mean come on why wouldn’t they? Just because they’re famous doesn’t make them any different from you and me. Except for their paychecks.”

“I know that, but I only met them the once. Anna spoke only a few words to me at the party. Now she’s calling or texting me every other day. It’s surreal.”

While I’d been married to Decker, I had no friends until Mason had started kindergarten and I met Taylor. Shortly after we separated, Ryan and Dawn came back into my life. I’d never had a lot of friends growing up and suddenly, I had more than ever. It was hard for me to accept that for some strange reason a couple of elite celebrities wanted to be my friend. It wasn’t that I was in awe of them because of their status when getting to know them I felt sorry for them and what they had to deal with on a daily basis. It was that it didn’t make sense. I knew there were plenty of people out there that would die for the chance to be their friend and I was sure they had plenty without me being a part of the mix.

“They are calling you now and seem to be genuine because you’re you, and who wouldn’t want to be friends with you.”

“You’re buttering me up, and I want to know why. Spill it.” I joked with her, but the strain on her face told me I’d hit the nail on the head.

“So,” she drew out the word and refilled her coffee. “The other day while I was waiting in car line to pick up Ben, I got there a little early from being out shopping. Since I had some time to kill, I thought I’d see if there were any more pictures of you on the internet. Did I tell you I’ve been saving them to my computer?”

How many were there that she thought she should possibly start saving them?

“No, you never mentioned it. I know about the Halloween party ones. Are there more?”

“There was one from when Matt picked you up at the airport the last time you were there, but that’s all I found,” Taylor answered before she started to chew on her finger once again.

“That doesn’t sound bad.” I shrugged. “What else was there?”

“Everywhere I looked the media, press or whatever you want to call it only had nice things to say about you.”

That was a good thing, but no reason for her to chew her finger down to the bone.

“Did you see something bad about me? If so, I don’t think I want to hear about it right now. Maybe in a couple of months when I’m not still kicking myself about going there in the first place.”

Leaning over, Taylor wrapped my hand in hers while giving me a sympathetic smile. “Honey, you’ve got to stop beating yourself up. How were you to know anything would happen let alone that you’d get in a wreck?”

“I shouldn’t have risked it. Not over a guy a barely liked. I was stupid and desperate to move on with my life. I could be dead right now, and Mason would be stuck living with his father.” Even now, every time I thought about it my eyes would threaten to tear up, but I willed them back. I didn’t want Mason to see me crying on Christmas Day.

---