Page 6 of With Love, Alex

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“So, did you give him your number,” Taylor asked after I had given her the rundown of everything that had happened last night and that morning. She was quiet the entire time except for a few noises. It was starting to make me nervous. I didn’t want my best friend in the whole world to think I was a slut.

“Yes,” I whispered into the phone before head-planting face first into my couch cushion. I was beyond embarrassed to tell her of my maybe one-night stand with Matt. What had I been thinking? Oh right! I hadn’t been thinking. I let all the alcohol I had consumed that night make my decisions for me.

“Good for you,” Taylor exclaimed making all my worries about how she’d perceive me go away. I still had plenty of other things I needed to talk to her about and figure out. “You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand.”

“How’d you know?” I asked, closing my eyes.

“Because I know you.” She answered back softly. “You’ve got to forget all those things Decker implanted in your head.”

“I know, I do.”

“Something else is bothering you. What is it?” she asked, knowing me too well.

“Why didn’t Dawn or Shelli stop me? Dawn’s known me since junior high. She knows I’d never sleep with some guy I’d just met. If anything, she encouraged me. I’m so stupid.” I turned to stare up at the ceiling. “Why did I have so much to drink especially when I hardly ever drink? Do you think she’s getting back at me from when she found out about Ryan and me?” I groaned at the thought. Would Dawn really do that to me after all these years of friendship?

“I don’t know,” Taylor answered back sadly. “She’s always seemed a little off to me. You know I’ve tried to be her friend but she’s never really let me get to know her. I know she didn’t know about you and Ryan at first, but not why.” Silence hung on her end as Taylor waited for me to explain how I’d betrayed my friend all those years ago.

“When I first met Ryan, Dawn was interested in him, but they weren’t going out. I’d only met him a few times before I started going out with one of his friends, Mark. I don’t know why I went out with Mark because I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest. It was probably because he asked me, and I was desperate to have a boyfriend. We didn’t go out that long before I broke up with him. For some reason after I broke up with Mark, I went to Ryan’s house, and after that, we started to hang out together as friends. I’m not sure what happened with him and Dawn because she never talked about him or initiated us hanging out with him after those first few times. One day we were at my house, and Ryan kissed me. After that, we were boyfriend and girlfriend, you know how it was when you were a teenager.”

“Don’t remind me,” Taylor laughed.

“I don’t know if we discussed it or if we just knew that we needed to not tell Dawn about us or what, but we kept it a secret. My explanation as to why Ryan was around so much was that I had no money and Ryan was willing to pay for the gas for us to go out, and that’s why he was always tagging along. I was more stupid and trusting back then and told a mutual friend of ours about Ryan.”

“You’re not too stupid or trusting. You’re just right. That’s why you’re my best friend,” Taylor said softly, but with conviction.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I sniffed a few times. “Thank you. I love you, my sweet friend. I wasn’t looking forward to telling you about last night. You’ve made me feel so much better. I only wish we could’ve done it in person instead of over the phone. Mason and I are going to have to come and visit you soon because we miss you guys so much.”

“Now you’re going to make me cry,” she sniffed. “We miss you too, and we’d be happy to have you anytime you want to come. Let’s plan a weekend soon.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I sniffed again, missing my best friend even more.

“Now finish telling me about your secret romance with Ryan,” she laughed. Taylor had seen Ryan and me together numerous times, and she knew there was zero spark between us now. She thought it was funny that we’d once been a couple.

I took a deep breath and a sip of my water before I continued. “I believe that it was obvious that I liked Ryan way more than any friend should when he went out of town for a couple of weeks. I was a typical love-sick teenager; depressed and didn’t want to do anything. I quit my summer job and stayed in bed the whole time. He called me once while he was away. You would have thought I won the lottery or he told me he loved me for the first time. I was flying high from one silly phone call,” I laughed bitterly into the phone. “Anyway, I was surprised to learn from our friend, Laura, that Dawn had lost her virginity to this guy that I hated because he was a cocky asshole and-” I paused for effect because what best friend keeps that information from the other. “She had also had sex with another guy. I was shocked and didn’t feel too bad about not telling her about Ryan and me. Then one day Dawn, Laura, and I were all in my car and for some reason, I don’t know what it could have been, Laura said something about me having sex with Ryan. So, I fessed up to Dawn and told her, but I didn’t tell her that I knew about her having sex with those guys and she never told me.Ever. Not once did she ever mention having sex with those guys. Now that I think about it, it seems strange.

“Our friendship was a little strained when I started to date Decker because Dawn didn’t like him at all, but she never gave me a reason why. After a bad breakup with her boyfriend senior year, we got close again, but never as close as we’d once been. As a friend, I’d hope she’d be looking out for me and not encouraging me to drink beyond my limits and leave me with a man when I was too drunk to know how stupid I was being.” Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and then let it out with a sigh.

“I don’t know what to tell you, sweetie. I hate to say that maybe Dawn isn’t over you not telling her about Ryan. Maybe she’s jealous that in the end, Ryan chose you and not her and that you two are still friends. Have you talked to Ryan about her?”

“No,” I answered shaking my head even though she couldn’t see me through the phone. “But maybe I should see what he has to say about it. It’s been a couple of weeks since I talked to him, so he’s due for a phone call. I should do it before Mason gets home tomorrow night though.”

“I know how you hate it when he’s at his dad’s, but at least it gives you a little time to do something for yourself and you deserve it. Maybe tonight you can take a nice relaxing bath and read. I’m actually surprised Dawn got you to go out since you usually binge read almost the entire time Mason’s gone.” she laughed, and it felt good as I laughed along with her.

“It was a struggle to not whip out my phone and open my Kindle app and start reading last night, but I managed. How stupid am I?” I asked my best friend.

“Not stupid at all. Time will tell about Dawn and maybe going out last night was a good thing if it shows you she’s not the friend you thought she was. Plus, you went out and finally had sex,” she shrieked and then started to laugh. “I know you’re not happy about a casual hookup, but you got out there, met a man, and did the dirty. Not only did you do the dirty, but you did it with a Hollywood hottie. I won’t even get started on how jealous I am that you got to meet Colton Patrick. You didn’t by any chance get a selfie with him?”

It was my turn to laugh. “Sorry to disappoint, but there were no selfies. I have a feeling that if there were ever a moment when one could have been taken, Dawn and Shelli would have seized the moment. I’m not going to lie, I was in shock and fangirled on the inside, but they were so obvious about it. I’m still surprised Colton had us back to his house.”

“Me too,” Taylor agreed. “It’s still cool though.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have if the neighborhood wasn’t gated. There’s no way for them to get even remotely close and he definitely didn’t share his code. I wish you could’ve seen his house it was gorgeous,” I told her wistfully. “If I could pick a place for Mason and me to live it would be there, but I’ll never have that much money. Wherever I do move, I want us to be neighbors when you move back.”

“Oh my God, Ben, and Mason would love that and of course, so would I. Have you been looking at houses?”

“Yeah, but I haven’t found one that I love yet, and I still need to save up some more money. I can’t believe Dawn didn’t want to tell me where we were going last night because she thought I’d turn her down. Am I that cheap?”

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