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“What is it?’ he asks, voice monotone.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for some time now, but you always change the subject, or leave. If you want to be in a relationship with me, we have to talk. Now.” I demand, but try to keep my voice soft.

“You know I want to be with you.” His voice rumbles underneath my ear.

“I’ve got a pretty good indication, but we still need to talk. You haven’t been back to your apartment in over a month.”

“I know,” he replies solemnly.

I hate to hear the sadness in his voice. Did he really think I was going to kick him out of my bed and home after the night we’d just had?

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while and wanted to talk to you about it, but you keep avoiding the conversation. I was going to confront you while having sex, but I’m too consumed to even think about talking about something serious, so I thought now’s the perfect time.”

“If you want me to leave you can tell me,” he says miserably.

“I don’t want you to leave, Ty.” I let out a sigh. “This is difficult for me, okay? I like you. A lot. More than I should, but I can’t help how I feel.”

Before I know what’s happening, I’m on my back with Tyson hovering over me. I can barely make out his face in the dark, but from what I can tell it is harsh and serious.

“What do you mean it’s hard and more than you should?” he barks out an inch from my face.

Tears sting the backs of my eyes. “For so many reasons. First of all, I’m your boss and second, you’re the first guy I’ve dated or been with since the divorce.” I try to push him off me, but he doesn’t budge. I need some breathing room so what I want to say doesn’t come out a total mess just like that.

“That came out wrong. I’m sorry. It’s like I won the lottery with you. How did I get so lucky that you were the man in that hotel room? Really Ty, you’re perfect. Almost. I can get over everything else, but the age difference. You’re so young, and I feel like I’m going to hold you back. You should be out going to parties and clubs, not sitting around the house with me watching movies.”

“Are you finished?” he asks harshly.

“You could do better,” I confess.

There I said it.

“My dear beautiful, sweet Sadie,” he shakes his head at me, his nose grazing mine. “You don’t see yourself as I do. I don’t want to do better. I only want you. I have since the moment I saw you, and nothing’s going to change that.”

“You can’t say that. You could change your mind.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Is that what you’re afraid of? If you give yourself completely to me that I’ll change my mind?”

“Maybe,” I whisper in the dark.

“From day one, I’ve been all in. I know what I want, and what I want is you. I can promise you here and now that I won’t change my mind. Trust me, I know it’s scary. There’s so much I’ve held back in the fear that I’d scare you away.” He kisses my cheek, still hovering.

“I don’t want to ruin your life. I don’t want you to wake up one day and wonder why you’re here with this old lady beside you.”

“Between the two of us, you’re the only one that’s thinking of our age difference. I don’t see your age. I only see you.”

Turning to look out the window, I sigh. “I need to get over my hang ups. Rationally, I know that if I was in a relationship with anyone, they could get tired of me and leave me. I could do the same. There’s always that chance. Or they could turn gay.”

“Rarely does that happen. He was already gay before he got involved with you. The world wasn’t as tolerant back then. It still isn’t now in a lot of places. But that didn’t give him the right to marry you when he knew better.”

“How do you always say the right thing to make me feel better?” With my mind spiraling at the uncertainty of every aspect of our relationship, Tyson always calms me and my thoughts.

“Because we’re perfect for each other.” Burying his face into the crook of my neck, he places a sweet kiss and grazes up the column of my neck, holding me tighter. “Was that what you wanted to talk about?”

“It was something we needed to talk about, but no it wasn’t what I wanted to say. If you really believe everything you just said to me then I think you’ll be happy with what I’m about to ask you.”

Rising up to rest his weight on his forearms, he looks down at me. I hate that it is so difficult to see his face in the dark. The only light is from the barely there moonlight.

Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I bite the bullet and say what I’d been wanting to say for the past couple of weeks. “Since you haven’t stayed a night in your apartment in over a month, I was thinking maybe you should move in.”

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