Page 9 of Intern

With all the reasons not to start anything more with Tyson, there’s a very good reason for me to see where this could go. For the first time in forever, I feel alive. I feel wanted and desirable. Something that had been missing in my marriage without me knowing it.

My only problem is opening up to this gorgeous man who has heartbreak written all over him. Do I put myself out there or keep to myself and my fears?

Sensing his uneasiness, I turn in my seat and produce a small smile. I’m unsure if I pull off its authenticity when Tyson’s only response is the down turn to his full kissable lips.

“I’m sorry I made this weird. It was never my intention. After my failed marriage, I’ve learned that I need to follow my instincts, but with you I’m conflicted.”

He nods, and I direct him the rest of the way to my house without explaining anymore of what’s going on with internal struggle.

My house isn’t much to look at from the outside, but the inside is where it shines. Over the past nine months, I’ve remodeled a few rooms of my small house. I still have a lot to do, but I love each room that has been renovated. After moving out of the house Gerald and I had shared for the entirety of our marriage, I didn’t want a big house. There was no need. I had no children and likely never would being almost forty-years-old and starting over.

Parking his SUV in my drive, Tyson sits unmoving, looking straight ahead. I know I need to explain. It’s now or never. If I don’t it’s likely Tyson will drive away and never look back.

Unbuckling first my seatbelt and then his, I pry his right hand from the steering wheel, and hold it in mine. “Can we go inside and talk? I know I said I’d tell you while you drove, but this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“If it’s so difficult for you, then maybe I should go home.” He pulls his hand from mine and moves to put the SUV into reverse.

“What if I don’t want you to go home?” I confess with barely more than a whisper.

Even in the dim light from the street light, I see his Adam’s apple bob. Is he nervous too?

“You’ve got to give me something, Sadie. I’ve been going out of my mind over here wondering what the hell happened,” he chokes out.

“I will. I promise, but first let’s go inside. I want to be able to see you clearly when I talk to you.”

“Fine, but I reserve the right to leave if you don’t start talking.”

“Fair enough, but I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

We silently climb out and up to my front door. I don’t like the tension that’s now between us, and I hate that I’m the one who put it there.

Stepping inside, I turn on a lamp on the side table, casting the room in a warm glow. I watch as Tyson takes in my home for the first time. The walls are painted two shades of grey, alternating on the walls of the room. The fireplace mantel along with my bookshelves are white and cover one wall. My couch is dark grey with big pillows that make it comfortable and relaxing. Two chairs flank the couch in a dark, purple velvet. It’s one of my favorite spots in the house to sit, read, and relax.

I sit on the couch and continue to watch. With Tyson in my living room it now seems small with his large body occupying the space, but I like the way he looks here.

“I was scared I wasn’t ready for more. Whatever this is, but now…”

“You’re not now?” he interrupts.

Shaking my head, I answer him. “No, when we were driving, I realized I didn’t want you to walk away tonight.”

Tyson sighs and sits down on the other side of the couch facing me. “What happened tonight, Sadie? If you would,” he sighs again, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Just talk to me, okay? I want to understand.”

“First, I want to start by saying I’m sorry for being late tonight. My mother called asking for money. Saying it was an emergency. But it’s always an emergency with her. Luckily, she doesn’t know my new address. She’s already hit up Gerald’s place hoping to find me there. As if I’d be there when he’s got some boy toy flouncing around in all his naked glory.” I shake my head, remembering the time I went back to get a box I’d forgotten out of the office and caught what’s his name on his knees in front of my then soon to-be ex-husband. “Don’t need that visual in my head again, anytime soon, or ever.”

Tyson smiles and relaxes into the cushions. “So, your ex is gay?”

“Yeah,” I rest my head on the back of the couch and roll it toward him. “I feel stupid for not realizing it until I caught him in the act.” I try to smile, but know I fail. “I should have realized when any sex wedidhave was from behind with him not being able to look at me.”

“Ouch,” he grimaces. “I’ve got to say sex from behind can be spectacular, but…” he pauses as his eyes regard me. “I promise to always look you in the eyes.”

At least he made it seem like there would be a next time.

“I sense there’s more to tonight. Something’s holding you back. Am I right?”

“So many things,” I admit without looking at him.

When I do get the courage, Tyson’s eyes regard me sadly.

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