Page 19 of Unsteady in Love

“With puppies and babies,” I whispered.

“How do you feel about that?” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

I bit my bottom lip and asked. “Truthfully?”

“Always,” he promised.

Sucking in a deep breath, I looked Holden over. Even from half a world away, he was still handsome. The chocolatey eyes I’d always loved looked as if they’d seen too much. He was haunted and slightly broken, and I wanted desperately to fix him.

“Right now, I’m only ready for one puppy, but in the future, I hope for more.” I smiled weakly, trying to reassure him. “I wish you could see the house so I could get your opinion on it.”

“You don’t need my opinion. Stop second guessing yourself. You love it, and that’s all that matters.”

“Do you feel any better?” I asked unable to hide the hope in my voice.

“Yeah, listening to you and seeing your face,” he nodded more to himself than me, “it helps after a hard few days. I’m sorry I scared you.” He looked down for a moment, and when he looked up, his eyes were clouded over with pain.

“I wish I were there to hug you.” The words barely formed around the lump in my throat. Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I held them back. Holden didn’t need to see me cry. I needed to be strong for him.

“I wish that too. More than you know. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do once I get out of the military.”

“Oh, yeah? Have you decided on anything?”

“Not really. I can do whatever I want, and I have no idea what that is,” he shook his head dejectedly.

“Do you still want to be an architect? You have the money to go to school and do whatever you want.”

“Won’t I be too old to go to college?” he asked with a disheartening laugh.

“No,” I waved that idea away, “you can go to college at any age. I mean, you probably won’t be asked to join any fraternities, but there are plenty of people who go back to school or start school late.”

He laughed, and my world brightened. “I don’t think I could put up with a bunch of drunk frat guys and the party scene.”

“When you’re done, take your time figuring out what you want to do. You’ll figure it out. I bet you could use a nice, relaxing vacation.”

“Could I come there and visit you?” He swallowed nervously.

“If you want,” I answered back just as nervous.

“More than anything.” He looked off to the side and frowned. “I’ve got to go. I promised my buddy he could use my computer. If I sent a list of things, would you send them to me?”

“Of course, I would,” I answered without thought.

“Does this mean you’re no longer mad at me?” His eyes brightened at the thought.

“I guess it does. I’m not mad anymore. Just worried about you. Promise me something, Holden. If you can’t or won’t talk to me, talk to someone. Can you do that for me?”

Holden looked down for a moment. I used to always know if he lied to me. Was he preparing to lie to me now? “How about if I promise you that I’ll try?”

“Is that the best I’ll get?”

“It’s the best I can do right now,” he promised.

“Okay, that’s all I can ask of you.”

“Thanks, Prue. Talking to you…helped. I l… I’ll talk to you soon.”

Then he disconnected. The screen was blank where he once had been, and instantly, I missed him.

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