Page 30 of Unsteady in Love

“Are you that much different? Deep down?” I didn’t care who he was now, I’d still love him.

He shrugged but looked thoughtful. “In some ways, I’m still the same, and in others, it’s as if I’m a completely different person. This place changes you. Seeing what I’ve seen and doing what I’ve had to do.” Holden closed his eyes, pain etched across every inch of his handsome face.

“You probably have PTS. Anyone who’s been over there probably has it. Have you thought about seeing a therapist when you get back?”

“I have no doubt that I have some form of PTS, but I don’t know if any therapist can fix me. I’ve heard so many stories where all they do is drug you up, making you a zombie. I don’t want that.” His lips turned down. “I know it will be hard to acclimate to the real world. During my brief visits back, the…” He closed his eyes. “Please don’t give up on me.”

“I won’t. I promise you, Holden. I only now got you back. No one and nothing are going to take you away from me,” I vowed.

Glassy eyes stared back at me. A smile tugged at his lips.

“Are you okay? I wish you’d talk to me.” I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

Talking to Holden had so many ups and downs. There didn’t seem to be a safe subject that didn’t send his emotions swinging one way or the other. Not that I minded when I said something that made him happy, but it worried me when he was upset and then went out there to do whatever he did.

Would he ever tell me?

“I’ve been meaning to bring something up before our next mission. I changed my emergency contact information. I put you down, so if anything happens to me…”

“Stop right there. Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to go wherever it is that you go and be safe and when your tour is up, you’re coming home to me. Do you hear me?”

Holden smiled at me sadly. His eyes held knowledge that I wasn’t sure he’d ever get around to telling me. “No amount of you bossing me around is going to protect me. I promise you, I do everything in my power to be safe.”

“I hope so. I was talking to Alex before you called. She was checking up on me.” I shook my head in exasperation while Holden grinned.

“I’m glad someone else can check on you when I can’t.”

“My car was totaled from the wreck, and I don’t have any money saved up yet.” I laughed. “I don’t even have a job.”

His brows pulled together. “What are you talking about? There should be plenty of money in the account. If not, call the lawyer we met with, and he’ll put more in.”

“Holden, it feels wrong spending your money. I wanted…”

A growl flew out of his mouth, and I could have sworn I felt how pissed-off he was through the computer screen. “Are we married?”

“Yes,” I stammered from the venom in his voice.

“Then don’t…just don’t. That money is as much yours as it is mine,” he ground out.

“So, I can buy a bunch of Rolls Royce’s and Maserati’s if I want?”

“If you want, but I know you, Prue. You’d never drive any of them. I do want you to buy something new and big so that if some asshole hits you again, you’ll be safe.”

“So, a tank?” I asked with sarcasm.

“Not a tank, smartass. But you need an SUV or a truck of some sort that’s four-by-four. It will be sturdy in a wreck and get you around in the snow safely.”

“Well, you’re bossy today. Do you have any suggestions? Because I’ve had the same car since I turned sixteen.”

He shook his head. “I can’t believe you were still driving that piece of shit car. You should have already bought a new one.”

“There was no sense in wasting money when my car was fine to drive.”

“You might not have a concussion right now if you had been driving something safer.” He frowned.

I hated trying to read him through a screen. Sometimes it lagged, making it hard to see his facial expressions and reactions and this was one of those times.

“It was so scary, Holden,” I choked out, tears building at the memory.

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