Page 33 of Unsteady in Love

I sat in the nearest chair, determined to not break down, but the moment the nurse stepped in front of me and I saw the look on her face, I crumbled. Sobs wracked my body. I pulled my knees to my chest with my forehead against them. Why didn’t he want to see me? Did Holden not remember me? Did he have amnesia, and that’s why he didn’t want to see me?

My head popped up to talk to the nurse, but she was already gone. I didn’t blame her. It wasn’t enjoyable to watch someone break down, and I was sure she had to see it more often than not. I had no idea how long I cried before any rational thought came to me. I ran to the desk where I’d found the nurse and started peppering her with questions. “Can you give me updates? Does my husband have amnesia? Is that why he doesn’t want to see me? Because he can’t remember who I am? If that’s the case, maybe if he sees me, he’ll remember?”

“I’m sorry, but his mental faculties seem to be intact. Right now, he’s depressed, and he wishes to be left alone.”

“If I can’t see him, can you tell me what happened? What his injuries are if it isn’t amnesia?”

“I can assure you that your husband doesn’t have amnesia. It’s very common that our patients request no visitors once they wake up. Give him some time, and I’m sure he’ll come around. Right now, though, he’s in a very bad place.”

“But I could help him if he’s in a bad place. I’ve known Holden since high school, and I know I could help him if he’d only let me.”

“I’m sure that’s the case, but right now, we have to abide by his wishes. I’m sorry. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if it were you, I’m sure you’d want us to do as you ask.”

“Yes, of course. I understand you’re doing your job. What I don’t understand is why my husband doesn’t want to see me. All we’ve talked about for the last few months is that we can’t wait to see each other, and now that we can, he’s refusing to see me,” I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks as reality set in.

My husband, the love of my life, didn’t want to see me.

“Give him time, honey.”

I didn’t want to give him time. I’d nearly lost my mind more than once as each plane took off and landed, all with the thought that I might lose Holden. I had no idea how injured he was. How could he be so cruel?

21

PRUE

For the past few days,my home was the waiting room of the hospital in Germany. Holden still refused to see me, but I was not going to give up. There was no way in hell I was leaving, even if I had to stay in the waiting room the entire time.

The nurses had taken pity on me. They’d brought me a blanket, pillow, and scrubs to change into. Every day, they’d let Holden know I was still there, and every day he told them he didn’t want to see me. He’d asked that they didn’t relay any information on him. As they looked at me with pity in their eyes, I stopped asking. With Holden refusing to see me, all I had time to do was think. Think about what had happened and how he was injured. I knew he’d had surgery but not why.

My imagination had run away from me thinking the worst things possible. I knew it wasn’t good, otherwise Holden would have been taken back to the states. My thoughts ranged from him being only a torso to his entire body being burned. Being burned made sense as to why Holden didn’t want me to see him. Each day I waited, the angrier I got. I had a feeling that was Holden’s intent. He wanted me to get pissed-off and leave.

But it didn’t matter to me if he was burned all over his body. Yes, Holden was beyond handsome, but I didn’t fall in love with his looks. I fell in love with the man he was, and it was going to take a lot more than him pushing me away to make me stop loving him. If I hadn’t stopped when he left me, I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop now.

The nurses urged me to leave if only for a few minutes. To get out and take a walk, have a real meal, or a shower, but I couldn’t leave. What if Holden changed his mind and wanted to see me while I was gone?

After a week, with a crick in my neck, I was over giving Holden his space. I needed to see him. I needed to see him with my own eyes to know that he was okay. After that, I could leave.

I stopped by the vending machine to grab a bag of chips when I heard Holden’s name. I inched closer trying to hear a little better, but when I turned the corner they were gone. My gaze flicked up and down the hall. No one was around, and I took the opportunity to venture further into the hospital. A nurse passed by, and I held my breath, but she didn’t stop me. No one stopped me as I slowly took in my surroundings and inched down the hallway. At each door, I read the name and continued on until I was standing in front of a room marked H. Montgomery. With shaky hands, I looked both ways, making sure the coast was clear before I turned the knob and slipped inside.

My breath caught as I took in the man in front of me. His face was bruised and swollen, but underneath it all, I could see my Holden. From what little I could tell, he wasn’t burned all over his body, so why had he not wanted me to see him?

My eyes scanned every inch of his body, slowly I started to relax seeing his chest as it rose and fell. He wasn’t hooked up to any machines which was a good sign. One hand was bandaged, but not in a cast. An IV stuck out of his other hand. I continued to take him in and stopped dead when his left leg that rested on a pillow stopped halfway down from his knee.

Tears filled my eyes as my hand went to my mouth. This was why he didn’t want me to see him. Did he think I wouldn’t want him any longer? Did he think I’d be repulsed?

“I told them not to let you in,” he growled out. I was unsure how he knew I was in the room. He hadn’t opened his eyes and continued to keep them closed.

“Holden,” I gasped out and ran to the side of the bed where I grabbed the hand with the IV.

“You need to leave, Prue, before I call for security to escort you out.”

“You’d really do that?” My chin trembled.

“I asked to be left alone. How’d you get back here anyway?” He opened his eyes only to turn and look away.

“I snuck in. It wasn’t my intention.” I shook my head. Who cared? “I was grabbing a bite to eat,” I held up the chip bag, “when I heard your name.” I shrugged. “When I noticed there was no one around, I started to look for you.”

“Well, you found me and now you can un-find me. Go back to your house and live your life.”

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