Page 36 of Secret Admirer

“I’m sorry, Coco. Really, I am.”

Her grip on my hand tightens before she pulls me into her soft body. Her other hand reaches up and wraps around my neck, pulling me down until our lips collide.

Instantly all is right with the world.

Stars burst behind my eyelids as her soft lips move against mine. When her tongue slips inside and caresses mine, I pull her closer until our bodies are melded together. My fingers tangle in her long hair and tilt her head to the side to give me better access.

She tastes of something sweet and coffee, and something pure Coco. I sweep my tongue against hers, and they dance together as if we are made for each other.

She tastes divine and I’m going to devour her.

17

Coco

Panting,Bodhi pulls away keeping his hands wrapped around my waist. “What was that for?”

“You wouldn’t shut up.” And because I’ve been dying to kiss him for days.

“Is that the only reason?” He stares down at me intently.

“Of course not. If I wasn’t attracted to you, I wouldn’t have kissed you. I would have kicked you in the shin or something.” I run my hand up his firm bicep and cup his now smooth cheek. “I don’t kiss just anyone. Would you like me to do it again?”

His large hands tighten their grip on the sides of my waist pulling me closer. “I’m not good enough for you, Coco, and I never will be.”

“Let me be the judge of that. You see yourself too harshly in this desert sun.”

“The sun hasn’t changed my perspective on myself. I know who I am, and after seeing you for the first time, I want to be a better man. Make my situation better, and I am, but it’s never going to be enough to ever afford to give you this life.” He gestures around the kitchen and outside.

“You don’t need to give me this life. I don’t care that you don’t have money. What I care about is finding a man who makes me happy. That’s the life I want. Trust me, the life I’ve lived is not all it’s cracked up to be, but I would give all of this away if it would make you see that it doesn’t matter to me.” And I would if it would prove to Bodhi how little I care about how much or how little money he has. “All I want is for you to see the man I see standing in front of me. You’re so good, Bodhi. I can see it and I’ve only known you for a short time. I mean look at where we are…you came here because I couldn’t stand the idea of being alone. Becauseyoumake me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. You do that. Not anyone else. Do you not feel the connection we have?”

“I’ve felt it from the moment I saw you crying in the salon’s window. I can’t explain it.” He clasps his hands behind his head and shakes it. “From the moment I saw you, I wanted to make you happy. I set off to find a flower to brighten your day. I didn’t know why you were crying but I needed to make it better. This feeling of protection and possession I have for you has driven me to try and do better for myself.”

He breaks away and paces around the dining room table. “You’re gorgeous. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and boy do I want you. My body wants you, but more than that my heart wants you. But the demons in my head tell me I don’t deserve you.”

“What demons, Bodhi?” I ask softly, not wanting to break his streak of opening up to me.

“All my life I’ve had people tell me I’m not good enough, for as long as I can remember, and after a while, you start to believe all the things people say about you. After living on the streets for four years because I couldn’t make enough money to pay rent…I still feel dirty. Like the filth they called me. You don’t need that. You deserve someone whole. Someone better.”

Tears have been welled up in my eyes since he started to confess his inner demons and I can’t hold them back any longer. A sob breaks from me and I run to Bodhi wrapping my arms around him, crying into his chest. “You deserve for someone to treat you the way you should have always been treated. You’re the one that deserves better, but I’d be honored if you chose for me to be that person.”

Bodhi hugs me to him, resting his head on top of mine. His voice sounds choked as he speaks. “I’ve never had anyone talk to me like that. Like I mattered. Like I am someone.”

I pull back enough to be able to look up at him. “You are someone and a great one at that. Do you honestly believe they’d hire just anyone to work with kids at the shelter? No,” I put one hand on my hip. “They most certainly would not. They see in you what I see in you. I think you’ve just been listening to the wrong people.”

“I want to believe you,” he whispers brokenly, his eyes downcast. “I just don’t know if I can. Not after all these years.”

“I know you can. I have faith in you, and I’ll help you just like you’re helping me. You don’t have to do this alone. We can be partners. What do you say?” I smile up at him with what I’m sure is a broken smile. One only he can fix.

His thumb sweeps over my cheek to whisk away a fallen tear. “I think I’m dreaming. I have to be.” Dipping down, he presses his soft lips to mine. It’s not passionate, but it still floods my stomach with butterflies. He’s sealing our deal with a kiss. “I want you. I want an us. For us to be partners.”

“Yes,” I grin triumphantly and lift up on my tippy toes to kiss him.

A throat clears making us jump apart. Both our heads turn to see Josh, the less creepy of the two guys, standing in the kitchen. “Excuse me, Miss Beckett, I need your approval on one of the pieces of equipment.”

I scowl at him because I swear he interrupted us on purpose.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I say to Bodhi and kiss him on the cheek.

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