Page 12 of The Model

“Something like that. Right now, I’m looking for a nice guy.” I kissed his mouth that had thinned into a firm line with his question until it turned into a smile.

Ryder pulled me close until my wet heat straddled one of his legs. His voice turned husky. “You’ve got a nice guy right in front of you.”

“Lucky for me.”

Warm liquid seeped down my leg, and it was only then that I realized I’d once again had sex with Ryder without a condom. I wasn’t normally this reckless, but there was something about him that made me forget myself and the rest of the world once he started to touch me.

“Ryder?” I asked hesitantly. This wasn’t going to be fun.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, and the hand resting on my shoulder twitched.

“I love having sex with you.”

“Are you ready to go again?” I could hear the smile in his voice. Too bad I was going to ruin the mood. Pulling out of his hold, I sat up next to him and pulled the sheet to cover me up. The smile that was on his face vanished as soon as my boobs were out of sight and was replaced with troubled eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I like you a lot.” I laced my fingers through his.

He sat up against the headboard and answered back in an unsure tone. “Good, because I like you a lot too.”

“I’m not a reckless person.” Tears pooled in my eyes. Why was this so hard? I didn’t think it would be a deal-breaker for him to wear a condom or to talk about his sex life.

“Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me.” He bit down on his bottom lip, his blue eyes sad. “Is it because you have a boyfriend?”

“Nothing like that. I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost a year, and I’m not a cheater. If I’m with someone, I’m with them, and if I wanted to fuck someone else, then I’d end the relationship before ever acting on it.”

“Okay,” he swallowed slowly. “You’re making me nervous. Whatever it is, just say it, and I promise to not get upset.”

Here goes nothing. Taking a deep breath, I let it out and blurted. “Have you been tested recently?”

Instead of being shocked or mad, awareness lit his face. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I can’t control myself around you. You intoxicate me and…I didn’t use a condom.” The last five words came out in a rush.

“No, you didn’t. It was the last thing on my mind, and I’m as much at fault as you are—”

“I’m clean,” he sat up and pulled me onto his lap. “I promise. I haven’t been with anyone since I was with you and I was tested before.” I found it hard to believe Ryder hadn’t had sex since we’d been together five months ago. How hadn’t anyone thrown themselves at him, and why hadn’t he taken them up on their offer if they had? My thoughts must have shown on my face. “I have no reason to lie.”

“Sure you do, if you want to keep having sex with me while you’re here.”

His faced hardened. “I’m not a liar. Remember, I’m a nice guy. We don’t do that.”

“Okay,” I said softly as I scooted closer to him. “I believe you, and while I’m glad you haven’t had sex with anyone else, it’s crazy that you haven’t.”

“Have you?” His jaw ticked, and I loved that it bothered him to think of me with another man.

“No, and I was tested about six months before we met, after I found my boyfriend in bed with my assistant.”

“Is he why you said you’d never cheat?”

“He’s one of the reasons. It’s not in my nature, to begin with, and after being cheated on by multiple boyfriends, I know how it feels. I don’t ever want to be responsible for making anyone feel that way.”

“I can imagine. I’ve never been cheated on. I had the same girlfriend all through high school, but we broke up when she went off to college. Kelly couldn’t handle the long distance.”

“It’s not for everyone. It takes commitment and faith. Something a lot of people seem to be lacking these days.” I knew Ryder would have made it work with his ex if she’d wanted to stay with him. “Do you miss her, your ex?”

He shook his head. “Not her, per se. I miss hearing a friendly voice on the other end of the phone or seeing someone I know besides the guys I’m traveling with. I’m the new guy, so they make me feel like the odd man out. They don’t want to hang out or have anything to do with me.” He shrugged sadly.

Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged Ryder as tightly as I could. I didn’t even know the guys he was with, but I hated them for making him feel less than.

“One thing I never thought modeling would be is lonely, but it is. Depressingly so, especially when you can’t talk to your friends and family because you have an old shitty phone that doesn’t have an international calling plan on it.”

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