Page 52 of The Model

Her face contorted in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course, I want my baby to know its father, but there are many ways to achieve that.”

My hackles rose. Did she think so little of me, or was she just trying to give me a way out? “I’m not going miss being in my child’s life. Yes, I didn’t plan on this, but you weren’t alone in making our baby.”

“To answer your question, we were reckless, but I don’t regret it.” Her face softened. “I don’t regret you.”

I prayed that I hadn’t fucked everything up in the months we’d been apart. “Are you saying you’re done with me?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, but I don’t know how to make this work.” Her shoulders slumped as she slid off my lap and back onto the couch.

I immediately felt the loss of her body and wanted nothing more than to pull her back on top of me, but we needed to talk and figure this out. No wonder the guy downstairs gave us the whole day to talk.

“I don’t know either, but if I get the choice of having you or not, I want you. When we left Rio, I swear you took a big piece of my heart with you. I’ve missed you so damn much, I literally ached.” I rubbed the spot over my heart that had stopped burning the moment Lexie said she wasn’t done with me.

“Ryder,” she said my name so softly and so full of love that I nearly combusted, “I missed you too, but I don’t want to trap you into something that you say you want right this moment and once we part again, you feel differently.”

“We’ve known each other for almost a year, and in all that time, I’ve fought to not ask for more from you. But now I’m done fighting myself. I want you to be mine. I don’t want you to be with anyone else, now or ever.”

“What about you? Are you going to only be with me?”

She had no idea how far gone I was for her.

“I haven’t been with anyone else but you, and I don’t want to be.”

“I feel the same, but…”

“No, buts,” I shook my head at her. “Why are you fighting this?”

“Because I don’t think I could take it if you walked away from me, but now I have to think about more than just myself.”

I let out a frustrated breath. Why was she being so difficult and not listening to me?

“I can promise I’m not going to walk away. I know you think I’m young, and while I am, I know what I want. I’ve watched my father believe he was going to lose the love of his life while my mom had cancer. I’ve traveled the world this last year. Both experiences made me grow up and appreciate life, and to go for what I want. And you, Lexie Keene, are what I want. I want a life with you and our baby. Please don’t deny me.”

Lexie tried to blink back tears and failed. I watched as they streamed down her face, unsure if they were happy tears or if she was about to break my heart again. “I don’t want to refuse you.”

“Then don’t. Marry me.”

22

Lexie

He couldn’t meanthe words that had just fallen out of his mouth.

“You don’t have to give me an answer today, but think about it.” Sadness clouded his eyes, and it broke my heart to see.

As I stared back at him, I was sure I looked like a gaping fish. My mind swirled with his words. Marry him? We’d never even been a couple. But hadn’t we though? We used to talk almost every day, and I hadn’t been with anyone else since he showed up in my life. I wanted Ryder almost more than anything, but I couldn’t stand the thought that in a few years, he’d resent the fact that he’d gotten me pregnant and then gotten married in a rush.

Gripping the back of his neck, Ryder let out a shaky breath. “I thought I was a good guy.”

“You are a good guy. The best man I’ve ever known.” I tried to assure him. “Don’t doubt that because of my hesitation.”

“I can’t help it when I see all those thoughts running across your face.”

“I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I feel like you need more time to let this news settle in and to figure out your feelings.”

Ryder growled, his fingers twisting the long strands of his hair. “I know what I feel for you. What I’ve felt for you for a long time.” He moved across the cushions until he was almost on top of me. Wrapping his large hand around mine, he pulled it to his chest. “The only thing I’ve doubted were your feelings for me. I understood why you wanted to keep us casual with my traveling, and although you didn’t say it, I’m sure you thought I’d eventually move on to someone else.”

Those were my exact thoughts.

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