Page 53 of The Model

“Am I so easy to read?”

One shoulder lifted. “We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well over this last year. Mostly by phone, but when we were in Rio, I thought there was more. The way tears filled your eyes as we said goodbye…” he swallowed roughly, “I thought they meant more.”

“They did mean more, but—”

“No, more buts. Stop fighting your feelings. Not now while I’m sitting right here in front of you, spilling my heart out to you. It is not the time. I know I can’t predict the future, but I’m not going to break your heart, Lexie. If I did, I would be breaking my own. Please open up to me. Tell me I’m not alone.”

“You’re not alone.” The words tumbled out of my mouth in little more than a whisper. I moved to wrap my arm around his waist and rested my head against the furious beat of his heart in his chest. When his arms snuggly wrapped around me, I closed my eyes and opened up to him. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life, and it scares me. Look what happened with my last boyfriend. He turned crazy and probably wants to hurt me.” My breath caught at finally spilling what I’d been dreading about Ben.

Ryder’s arms tightened to the point of crushing the breath out of me. “I won’t let him hurt you.” When I made a strangled noise, he loosened his hold on me.

I wasn’t sure how he could promise that when he was always halfway around the world from me, but I didn’t argue. Instead, I continued to crack open my heart and let everything out. “I won’t deny I’ve wanted more, but what’s the point when I only see you every five or six months and then for you to break my heart? Even unintentionally, you did break my heart when I saw that picture of you with Lana. Who's to say that won’t happen in the future?”

“Because I won’t let it. I won’t put myself in the position for it to ever happen. Every move I make, I’ll think about how it would affect you.” His index finger trailed down my cheek until it rested under my chin. Slowly he lifted my face until we were eye to eye. “Even though I haven’t had the life experience you’ve had, I’ve never felt this way, and the chance of me ever feeling this way about another human again is next to impossible. I don’t want anyone else but you. Tell me you feel the same.”

Ryder rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. I desperately wanted him to open them. I loved everything about his eyes. From the open and honest way they conveyed how he was feeling, to their beautiful color. I could see deep down into his soul if I looked close enough. It had been too long since I’d last seen them, and I missed gazing into them.

God, how was he so good at expressing his feelings when he was so young? I was an emotionally stunted mess who could barely articulate what had been building up in my chest since I knew I’d see him again. If I was honest with myself, those feelings had been building since before Rio.

“I feel it.” I paused, unsure of how to express what I wanted to say. Knowing he’d fight me on it, but how could he know what he wanted at this stage in his life without really knowing me? We’d only spent a little less than two weeks together in the year we’d known each other.

Opening his eyes, he kissed the corner of my mouth. “Stop fighting what you want.”

“I don’t want to fight it anymore.” My lips brushed against his as his hand ran down my back and pushed me closer to him. “Let’s see where the week takes us.”

His handsome face scrunched up. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s be a couple, access our feelings, and at the end circle back to your question.”

He squared his shoulders as he stared down at me. “You’ll answer me at the end of the week?”

“Yes,” I answered breathlessly. I wanted to pull him down to me, to feel his lips on mine until I felt him stiffen.

“When we were in Hawaii and Rio, we were a couple.” His breath hitched. “Even when we were apart.”

“I won’t deny that, but before we weren’t contemplating spending the rest of our lives together. We weren’t going to be bound to one another for the rest of our lives by a child.” It didn’t feel like he was taking this seriously. I didn’t want to get married for the sake of being married. I didn’t even know where he’d be when the baby was born.

“Do you want to know what I felt when we were in Rio?” Even though I was afraid to know, I nodded. “That I was falling in love with you and that I wanted to marry you.”

He was lying. He had to have been. Feeling bold, I asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Say anything?” He bristled. “I was afraid I couldn’t even ask you to be exclusive or even my girlfriend, let alone declare my love for you.”

Every word that spilled from his lips was perfect. Ryder said everything I wanted to hear and more, so why couldn’t I trust him?

Rising to my knees, I leaned forward, my eyes locked on his. When I was only a hair’s breadth away from his lips, I spoke. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. That was never my intention. I was only trying to look out for both of us.”

Gripping my hips, Ryder pulled me onto his lap. “Stop being scared of your feelings for me. Look into my eyes, and you’ll see my love for you, reflecting back at you.”

I saw more than his love for me in his eyes. I saw how much he wanted me to trust him for the rest of time, and how much he craved me. “How are you not scared?”

He smiled, and those damn dimples of his popped out. Just as quickly as they appeared, I melted against him. My hands cupped his cheeks, and my thumbs rested over those undeniable indentations. I wanted to tell Ryder how much I loved him, and as if he could read my mind, he started to kiss up my neck, his voice was muffled as he spoke against my quickly overheating skin. “Would you run away if I told you I love you?”

“No,” I answered breathlessly. Angling my neck to give him further access, I tangled my fingers in the hair at the top of his head. I loved his messy, crazy hair, and so did everyone else. It was part of his signature look. “If you told me, I’d never let you go.”

Ryder stood with me in his arms with my legs wrapped around his trim waist and briskly walked into the bedroom before throwing me on the bed.

Looking up at him, I saw his blue eyes darken with lust. Ryder quickly kicked off his jeans and shoes, his length was already hard and weeping as it bobbed from his movements. Gripping his shirt behind his neck, he pulled it up and over his head. I was in awe as each inch of golden skin was unveiled. He’d bulked up some since I last saw him making his body more defined and tantalizing. The man before me was perfection inside and out, and he wanted me.

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