Page 33 of Risk

“I don’t have it all figured out, but I planned once the season was over, we’d go to Colton and tell him we’re in a committed relationship, and that I want and need you by my side all the time. I think he’d understand.”

“Committed?” She rolled the word on her tongue as if it was unfamiliar to her.

“It’s not like I expect him to pay for your travel or anything of that nature. I have plenty of money, so it won’t ever be a problem.”

“It would be if I don’t like men paying my way. Have you once thought about what I want? Did you think to ask me if I want to tell them about us or if I want to travel the circuit with you? What about my patients?”

I leaned back in my chair and took her in. Each word she spoke was said calmly as if she wasn’t upset, but I knew she was. Was it because I hadn’t asked or talked to her about this?

“I know you care very much for your patients, but I thought you cared more about me. You’ve said numerous times how you want to travel the world now. Why not do it with me?”

“It’s not a matter of caring, Callum. Of course, I care about you. It’s that you never once talked to me about this, and you were ready to tell your boss everything, and very soon for that matter. Would you have talked to me about this beforehand or just gone to him?”

Leaning forward with my elbows on the table, I looked her dead in the eye. “Of course, I would have. I wanted to see how it went with you staying at my house and in my bed to make sure. This is the first time where we can just be us as a couple without hiding from everyone around us.”

She nodded, and when our waiter brought her glass of wine, she drank down half the glass in one go. She tapped her fingernail against the rim as she regarded me over the table. “Can I get another one of these, please?”

“Of course.” The waiter smiled and backed away.

The moment the waiter was out of earshot, I stood and brought my chair around the table to sit by her side. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“This is my fault for not opening the lines of communication. I assumed, and we all know what that makes me.” She gave me a tight smile. An ass, but I wasn’t going to say that. I wanted her to continue to open up to me because there was no way in hell I was leaving here without her understanding how I felt about her. “You’re not one for relationships or commitment.” I went to open my mouth, but she placed one finger over my lips and held it there. “Those are your words, and you haven’t expressed anything remotely different to make me think you changed your mind.”

She was right, I hadn’t, but I thought since she was so smart and seemed to be able to read just about every thought that passed over my face that she knew.

“That’s my fault. I guess I thought we were on the same page, but I can promise you that I was going to talk to you once we went to Mexico. I just wanted to see what it was like to have you living in my space and for us to be free before I said anything.”

“You wanted to make sure.” Her voice was quiet, and I couldn’t tell what she was feeling at that moment. Was she upset I wanted to make sure we were a good fit before I started waxing poetic words to her and telling her how I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together?

“Yes, is that so bad? Are you sure about us?”

“Me?” she questioned in a squeaky, high-pitched tone. “No, I’m not sure because no one can ever be one hundred percent sure, but also because I thought there was a possibility you were going to be through with me once your last race was over.”

“Oh, Aspen, how I wish you would have said something.” I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “Not for one second have I ever saw you as just a fling. I’ve wanted you from the first moment I saw you.”

“Yes,” she said sternly. “You made mention of how you wanted to get in my pants many times, but that’s all I knew.”

I looked down at our joined hands. “I wish you would have said something before now. I hate that you’ve been walking around with me, city after city, thinking that I would throw you away because I’ve known since the moment I got you that I was never going to let you go. I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole, and I never want to get back out. You are it for me, Aspen Belle. Maybe things would have been different if we didn’t have to hide who we are to one another. You know I’m a straight shooter. I’m not going to lie to you. Now or ever. If you ever want to know something, don’t be afraid to ask.”

Her eyes darted from my lips to my eyes to my lips and back again. “Have I ever told you I love how open and honest you are?”

“Once or twice.” I leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth.

“I’m not perfect, Cal. I’m human, and I make mistakes too. I carry baggage just like every other human being on the planet. Until now, I didn’t realize how much I’d let Alejandro affect me and my trust. Normally, I’d like to think I would have talked to you and asked you what you wanted from me.”

“I want you by my side until the end of time. I never want there to be a day where I don’t see your beautiful face smiling at me, encouraging me to be the best man I can be. I want you always. Is that enough?”

“It’s more than enough, but I’m not sure if I can give up everything to travel with you.” She hung her head. “That’s a lot of you to ask of me.”

“It is.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “And I’m sorry I didn’t ask you. I promise I won’t say a word to anyone unless we decide that’s what we want.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me say one final thing, and then I’ll drop it so we can have a fabulous dinner together.” She hooked her finger to mine and nodded. “Don’t think for a single second that I like hiding us or what you mean to me. I’m falling for you. Some days you literally take my breath away. While I hate what brought me to you, I think it just might have been fate that brought us together.”

“Oh, Cal,” she cooed. Her hands cupped my face. She brought me close so she could smash her mouth to mine.

It was a desperate kiss. One that told me she felt the same about me as I did her. She loved me, but it was too soon to tell each other those three simple, yet significant words. Instead, she showed me with the way she held me in the palms of her hands, and her tongue danced with mine.

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