Page 39 of Risk

“Maybe.” Her one-word answer was unsure.

I didn’t like it one bit. “Have you thought any more about what I asked you before everything went to shit?”

“It’s practically all I’ve thought about when I wasn’t dealing with my phone.”

“I hate to interrupt what you’ve got going on here, but you’ve got five laps left and you’re in third place. You’re coming up on Alfonso now, and that will put you in second place.”

And just like that, Aspen and I were quiet as Kaspar directed me through the last few laps. I was disappointed that I came in second when I was only seconds away from placing first, but at the same time, I was beyond happy I even finished the race. If it wasn’t for Kaspar, I would’ve been lucky to make it into the pit without wrecking or stopping out on the track.

“Congratulations, Cal. I’ll talk to you later,” Aspen said quietly.

“Did she hang up?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I hadn’t gotten to say all the things I wanted to say. How had I gone this long without telling Aspen I loved her? She needed to know how much she meant to me and not because I couldn’t race without her. Now I couldn’t live without her. I’d only been existing until I met her, but she made me feel alive for the first time in years, and I wanted to do the same for her.

“That she did, buddy, but maybe it’s late there.” He was only looking for an excuse. Kaspar likely knew exactly what time it was in Spain.

“Thanks for looking out for me, man. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you let me know, and I’ll give it to you. You saved my ass today.”

“Will do, buddy.”

I wasn’t sure how I could convince Aspen to leave everything she’d worked so hard for behind so she could travel with me, but I was going to make a plan to see Aspen and have her by my side for the rest of my life.

14

Aspen

Monza, Italy

Kaspar wavedme through a door and ushered me through another before he closed us into a room. “Here’s your headset. Do not say anything until I give you the code word.”

“And what’s the code word?” I kept myself from smiling. Kaspar had helped me get into Cal’s hotel room by romancing one of the maids, and now he was hiding me until the race started. I wanted to surprise Cal but wasn’t sure at first how I wanted to do it. Did I want to be waiting for him in his hotel room when he finally got done for the day, here at the race, or at his place in Malibu? The race won out. I didn’t want to risk my phone having bad reception or anything else of that nature if he needed me today. Either way, I was sure he was going to be surprised when he saw me standing in the pit when the race was over.

“Liebling,” he answered with his German accent. Most of the time, it was easy to forget Kaspar was German; he spoke English so well and with very little accent but not when he said that word.

I wondered why he chose that word to use. “What’s it mean?”

“Honey, darling,” he shrugged his broad shoulders. “I must go before I am missed.”

“Thanks for doing this, Kaspar.” I wrapped my arms around his middle and gave him a quick hug. I was overcome with happiness and how much he cared about Cal.

“Anything for you, Miss Aspen.” He patted my back before quickly pulling away and slipping out the door.

I knew it was only a matter of minutes before the race began, so I turned on the TV that was in the room and sank back into the cushions of the couch.

How Kaspar got me a suite without anyone knowing it was for me, I’d probably never know, but I couldn’t imagine being stuck inside a room and not knowing what was going on.

I started up at the black screen, waiting for it to flicker on. It would only come on once the cars were on the grid. When it did, I jumped up from my seat and moved closer to the screen so I could find where Cal was in the lineup. His car was easy to spot. It was mostly green with some white and the number eleven on it. My heart soared at seeing it. It had only been a month since I’d last saw his handsome face, but it felt like an eternity. The next two hours couldn’t pass by fast enough. When I last saw Cal, he’d been just as devastated by my having to leave as I was. I hadn’t been able to get his defeated look out of my head the entire time we’d been apart, and after hearing his voice on the phone during his last race, I knew what I had to do.

We’d talked a few times over the last two weeks, but something felt off. Maybe it was me and the plans I made without him knowing, or it could have been Cal realized he didn’t need me any longer. I could be conferenced in at any location and not travel with him. I wasn’t sure, but I hoped it wasn’t the latter because I had turned my life upside down since the last race I’d been to for the man I now knew I couldn’t live without.

The countdown began, making my pulse skyrocket. The beginning always had my nerves on edge with the cars moving so close to each other and looking as if they were about to careen into the one next to it. Formula One racing was a dangerous business, and I knew if I spent the rest of my life by Cal’s side, I’d always be scared about the possibility he could be seriously hurt or killed.

For the next hour and a half, I stood with my eyes plastered to the television screen in front of me, watching only Cal’s car. I listened in on the headset, and then I heard it. He mumbled something unintelligible, and his breathing sped up. I searched the screen for what could have possibly set him off but found nothing.

“Liebling,” Kaspar said, cueing me to speak.

“You’re safe,” I softly said into the mic.

Cal’s breath ratcheted up a notch before I heard it slow down into nothingness. Only two words from me and he was fine. I wasn’t sure if I should say more or not since I wanted it to be a surprise I was there, so I stayed quiet on my end and continued to listen carefully in case he needed me again.

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