Page 6 of Risk

“I’m glad you didn’t drive. You mentioned having them on consecutive days. What happened the other day when you had your panic attack?”

“The same symptoms, but I was out on the track. I had to come in and didn’t finish my qualifying laps.” He banged his fist on his leg, and his nostrils flared.

Most men didn’t like losing control, but for a man like Callum, who, going by his profession, was most definitely dominant in everything he did, it was worse. I was sure he was beating himself up about what he perceived as his failure.

“Did anything eventful happen before it started?”

I was surprised at how easily he was talking to me. I guess he really was desperate.

“A wreck, but it had cleared before I reached it. They’re always quick to get out of the way, and…I knew that, but it didn’t matter.”

Something had obviously happened, but Callum might not have been putting the two together.

“Okay, so you know wrecks are usually cleared, so what was different about that day? That wreck in particular?”

Placing his elbows on his knees, Callum hung his head. His fingers pulled at the strands of his hair as he grunted in frustration.

“It was my first race back after my wreck. I’d been out for four races and was anxious to get back on the track. My team depends on me for points. Without me, they won’t be making the top positions at the end of the year.”

They also wouldn’t ever make those positions if he ended up dead.

“That’s a lot of pressure on you. Were you ready to start back racing?”

He let out a bitter sounding scoff. “More than ready. I was climbing the walls while I was at home. I’m not used to sitting around doing nothing.”

“Were you hurt badly in your wreck?” Physically he looked fine, but there had been something that kept him from racing in those four races he missed.

“Just scrapes and bruises and a concussion,” he answered as if his injuries were no big deal, but a concussion was serious. It was possible he still had it.

“Was anyone else hurt?” I softly asked.

“There was another car, and he died. They didn’t tell me at first, but once I was released from the hospital, I found out.”

“After you found out, did it make you think it could have been you?”

“Oh, yeah. I saw the wreck coming, but that time it didn’t clear. I went through the smoke, and when I reached the other side, there was more wreckage. Bam!” he shouted. “It all went down in slow motion, and while I braced, I wasn’t sure if I would die or not.”

I didn’t think he gave the experience he’d had enough credit. An average wreck could be traumatic, but seeing it and knowing it’s about to happen, with speeds and consequences of that magnitude, was too much to handle. With a concussion afterward, he was bound to have some anxiety. Maybe if there hadn’t been a wreck the first time he got back into a car, he would have been fine. Or maybe one would have been triggered after he saw another wreck on or off the track.

He lifted his head, his eyes filled with desperation, and pleaded, “I need to be able to get back out on the track, Doc. I have less than two weeks until my next race.”

“I can’t promise you miracles in such a short amount of time, but we can work on trying to get you back behind the wheel. Did you drive here?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him there was no way to cure someone in such little time.

“Taxi. I didn’t want to risk the chance of freaking out again behind the wheel.” He let out a harsh breath. “I sound like a fucking pussy. Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to swear, but I can’t help it.”

“I take no offense. Plenty of clients swear and do much worse, so don’t worry about it.”

He perked up. His distress from a moment ago forgotten. “Oh, yeah, like what?”

I shook my head. “I can’t tell you that; doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“Fair,” he leaned forward again on his elbows.

“Since I’ve been hired to help you for the next week, why don’t we meet tomorrow at a car rental place, and we’ll start from there.”

“What’s renting a car going to do?” he questioned harshly.

“First, you’re going to rent it, and then you’re going to drive it. I’ll be with you, of course, in case you start to feel any panic. We’ll also work on exercises for you to try before you drive. But I can’t promise you you’ll be ready to race in two weeks. I’m sorry.”

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