Page 34 of Affinity

Jenner moved closer to where I stood. A cocky smirk on his face. “Maybe you’d like to help me with my workouts andotherthings.” We both looked down at the bulge in his shorts at the same time. I guess I was correct on what other things he was talking about.

Clearing my throat, I took a step back and then another and another until I was on the other side of the counter and couldn’t see how hard he was. “I know it might come as a shock to you, but I’m not one to have sex with someone until I know them. Our wedding night was a one-off.”

He shoved the rest of his cookie in his mouth before he placed his palms on the counter and leaned toward me. “I don’t see what the problem is. We’re both attracted to each other.”

“I need more than an attraction. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you because I am.” Along with at least half the female population, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. He already knew. “But I need more, something I’m sure you’re not willing to give me.”

Standing up, he crossed his arms over his chest, making every muscle bulge and ripple. “What do you need?”

Here we go. Once he found out what it would take for me to have sex with him, he’d finally drop the subject and leave me alone.

“A committed relationship.”

“How much more committed do I need to be than saying I won’t have sex with anyone for the next year?”

Okay, he did have a point, but that’s not all I wanted.

“Yes, you’re correct, that’s a commitment. I should have made myself clearer. I need an emotional connection with the man I’m having sex with.” He started to open his mouth, so I interrupted him. “And no, hating someone doesn’t count.”

I thought he’d laugh in my face. What I wasn’t expecting was for Jenner to turn in his spot and stalk out of the room. If I didn’t have an emotional connection with him, why did it hurt to watch him walk away without a word?

Chapter Fourteen

Jenner

Abbi wanted an emotional connection to me, but I wasn’t sure I could give it to her. Since Poppy, I had carefully constructed walls around my heart to make sure I never got hurt again. Was it worth trying to break them down just to get my dick wet? What if I let her in and somehow developed feelings for her? I couldn’t risk spiraling again after our time was up.

Because I knew if I let that beautiful brunette in, she’d wreck me. I was already drawn to her, unlike any woman I’d ever encountered. She was dangerous to me and my career, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It wasn’t just her banging body that she didn’t seem to know she had or the innocence that reflected back at me when I looked into her eyes. There was something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something that had me leaving the room before I could figure it out and holing myself in my bedroom like I was a pre-pubescent boy. I wouldn’t let her continue affecting me the way she was, but I also didn’t know how to stop it either.

A soft knock came to my door before I heard her timid voice. “Dinner is going to be done in about five minutes if you want to join me, or I can eat in my room.”

Fuck, I was an asshole. Now she was trying to escapeme. From what I knew, Sophie was her only friend in LA, and she’d lost her because of me. Not only that, but she hadn’t been able to start her new job or leave the house because of our mess.

“Thanks,” I called out. “I’ll be out in a minute.” I could do this. I hadn’t always been an asshole, but I could barely remember my life before Poppy destroyed me.

The second I opened my bedroom door, the aroma of the chicken parmesan and cookies she’d made had my stomach growling louder than it ever had and my heart picking up speed. Was I going to try and explain to her what was going on in my head? Even if I didn’t understand it myself? Maybe she could make me see what was happening.

She’d set up all the food outside on the table, had light music playing, and somehow had twinkling lights turned on. How had I never noticed them before?

We stayed silent as we piled food on our plates. The tang of tomatoes from the sauce combined with the melted cheese filled my senses.

Was this what it was like to live a normal life? It felt good to have someone here after a shitty day like today. To have someone treat me like I mattered.

After a few delicious bites, I got the nerve to speak what had been on my mind since I left the kitchen earlier. “Thank you for this. Every meal you make is better than the last. It makes me look forward to my next meal instead of having to figure out where I’m going to order from,” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Abbi, I don’t know if I know how to be in a healthy relationship. It wasn’t until Poppy was out of my life that I realized how messed up our entire relationship was. I . . . if I try, I want you to know I’m going to mess up. Probably more than once.” More like over a thousand times, but that would only scare her off.

“Are you saying all of this only because you want to be able to have sex during our arrangement?” She averted her eyes to land on anything that wasn’t me.

It was strange how I didn’t like thinking of how our time together would end when at first, I had hated the idea of her infiltrating my life.

“It’s not about sex. While I won’t deny how much I want you underneath my body writhing in pleasure, there’s something about you I can’t describe. It feels good to talk to you. To open up to you,” I confessed.

Her eyes darted up to mine and widened with each word I spoke. “That . . . was surprising. You’re surprising, Jenner.” The small tip of her lips did something funny to the inside of my chest. “I like it when you talk to me, and you’re not an asshole.”

“I like it when you’re not glaring at me and not being a bitch.”

“Touché. Do you want to um . . .” She forked a bite of pasta and held it in front of her mouth.

“Do I want what?” I encouraged.

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