Page 43 of Affinity

“Please tell me you never actually slept with her.” The amusement in her voice had my lips twitching.

Looking over at Rikki, she stood next to our table with her enraged, red face that was almost purple, and her balled up hands on her hips. Everyone in our vicinity was turned toward us in rapt attention. I wasn’t sure what to do about our situation. I didn’t want to draw any undue attention to myself since I knew it would be my word against hers, and after everything, they were less likely to believe me even with Abbi by my side.

My significant other stood abruptly, her eyes on me. “You know what, honey, I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. Would you mind walking me back to your trailer? I think we’ve got enough time to christen at least one area.” She winked at me, and I nearly fainted.

“I’m suddenly hungry for something else entirely.” Grabbing her hand in mine, I pulled her out of the tent and started down the line of trailers toward my own.

“I wonder how many times that will happen?” Abbi murmured from my side.

“What? Rikki?” Abbi looked at me like I wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed. “I don’t think there will be more like her.”

“Why? Because you slept with everyone else who came into contact with you?” The touch of jealousy I heard in her voice made me want to pound my chest and claim her all at the same time, but when she ripped her hand out of mine the moment we were far enough away from everyone and quickened her pace toward my trailer, I was starting to wonder if I’d read the entire situation wrong.

Unsure of what was happening, I slowed my pace, and when I finally reached my trailer, I peered inside, wondering where Abbi might be. I was actually scared of what I might find when I went inside. She was off to the left, sitting on the couch, clicking away on her laptop with a heavy scowl marring her face. I hoped she wasn’t looking up pictures of me with other women so she could question me about whether or not I’d slept with them because if she did, I was sure I’d lose the respect I’d earned in the last couple of days. I wasn’t proud of my past actions. All I wanted was to leave them where they were and for the world to give me a second chance.

Without looking up, Abbi stilled in her seat. “Are you going to stand out there until they ask you back on set?”

With one foot raised to step inside, I asked. “Are you still pissed at me?”

“I’m madder at myself than you,” she grumbled under her breath, but I’d definitely heard her.

Faster than lightning, I was by her side with a tentative hand on her arm. “Why are you mad at yourself?”

“Because it’s stupid for me to be jealous of something you did before I ever even knew you. It would be different if we’d been together, but we weren’t, so it was silly for me to have that kind of reaction.”

Slinging my arm around her shoulders, I kissed her temple. “If I was in your position, I’d be seething inside with jealousy. When I thought Paul was your boyfriend, it ate at me. The thought that you had a man waiting for you when this was all done . . . ” Her body tensed under me, and I knew I fucked up once again. Was trying to be with Abbi worth it? I felt like I was constantly saying the wrong thing, or my past was lurking in the background waiting to pop its head out and fuck everything up.

Pulling my arm out from behind her, I let out a heavy sigh. With my elbows on my knees, I leaned forward and closed my eyes. “Do you remember when I said I was going to fuck you?” I turned my head to the side to look at Abbi.

“Yeah, of course, I do. It was only yesterday.”

“Right, it was yesterday, and when I thought about you and Paul, it was the night you moved in. It’s only been days, but a lot has happened. I’m not thinking of us having a deadline, but I can’t promise that we’ll work out.”

“Right,” she snipped out, her eyes back on her laptop.

“God, Abbi, you can’t get pissed at everything I say.” With each passing moment, I felt the end of us coming to fruition, but I was giving it one last chance. “I’m not trying to be an asshole here. I’m only trying to talk to you and look at what it’s getting me. With every word I say, you only continue to get more pissed at me, so I’m going to say my piece, and then I’m going to go back on-set to get my head in the game because all of this is fucking with me.”

“Go ahead. I won’t interrupt you.”

“Do I want us to work out? Yes, of course, I do. If I thought we were going to split ways at the end of this, I wouldn’t be spilling my heart out to you. None of this is easy for me. I promise you that I never slept with Rikki. Since my divorce, I haven’t been celibate, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I swear on my life, I will never cheat on you. I’m being real with you. This is me. The real me and I can’t change that. Now it’s up to you to decide if you can live with me, my words, and my fuck-ups.”

With those final words, I stood and walked out of my trailer without looking back. I didn’t know if there would be an Abbi and me once we left for the day, but I couldn’t think of that now. I had to go prove myself to the rest of the world.

Chapter Seventeen

Abbi

Last night when Jenner asked me to come to the set with him, I was so happy to see this part of his life. I wanted to see what it was like filming a TV show, but now that we were out of our bubble, the real world had stepped all over us, and everything had been turned upside down.

When Jenner walked out of his trailer without looking back, my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. He couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth, just as I couldn’t help my reaction to those words. We needed to learn how to not react, to let the person react and not overreact ourselves, but I had a feeling that was not going to be easy for us. The more I thought about it, the more I believed the problem was we’d both been in unhealthy relationships that had messed us up more than we realized. If we didn’t learn how to navigate our relationship quickly, we were going to sink before we ever took flight.

Unsure of what to do, I stayed in the trailer to work. Only instead of getting any work done, my eyes strayed from my computer to the door every few seconds. The longer I sat there, the worse I felt about how Jenner had left and what he’d said. I knew Jenner was likely now working, but I had to see him. Maybe if I showed him that I wanted to be here, he would defrost, and I could tell him I was sorry.

We definitely needed to talk.

Slowly, I walked to where they filmed earlier. Each person I passed looked at me with wonder on their faces. It didn’t make sense. Yes, Jenner could be an asshole, but I seriously doubted he’d done enough on the set to make them gawk at me as if I was insane for marrying him.

Not insane, just drunker than I’d ever been in my life.

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