Page 75 of Affinity

Scooting myself back on the bed, I lay down and stare up at the ceiling. “I’ll try my best to make it seem like everything is normal between us around my brother, but I’m not sure how successful I’ll be. I’m not an actor like you.”

I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him shift in the chair. “Is that it? You’re giving up on me?”

Closing my eyes, I try to forget about the defeat I heard in his voice. “I’m not sure?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but it did. “All I know is I can’t get over it in a matter of minutes. I need time to process that you . . . ” I didn’t want to say it. He was a drug addict. I would never have guessed. “Right now, I feel betrayed.”

“Betrayed?” he choked out.

“I can’t help how I feel, just as I know you can’t help your past. Like I said, I need time, and then I hope you’ll be willing to answer some questions.”

I heard movement, and then the bed dipped underneath his weight. “Abbi, please. Ask me now. Ask me whatever you want.”

I didn’t even know where to start. He blew my mind only minutes ago with this revelation.

“When did you start?” It came to me and flew out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

The bed shifted as he leaned back against the headboard. “It was after Poppy was gone and totally unintentional. I was in the bathroom looking for the damn toothpaste and found a little baggie of white powder.” Turning my head, I look over to watch as he covers his eyes with his arm. “I wanted to see why she chose it over me, so I tried it. Well, I had to look up how to do it first, and then I tried it. Everything and I meaneverything,fell away. For a month, I sat in the house I’d shared with my ex, and did nothing but my new friend, the powdery white substance.”

After a few minutes of quiet, I asked. “Then what happened?” I knew this wasn’t easy for him, but I had to know everything.

“I wanted more. I needed more. I was a mess. I couldn’t sleep, eat, and then someone sent me a picture of Poppy standing on the side of the street looking utterly out of it. I realized that it could be me if I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to be lost in drugs and ruin other people’s lives, even though I had no one in my life. I kept looking at her picture, at how awful she looked. Her body was emaciated, her skin was broken out, and her skin tone was uneven. I’m not conceited about my looks, but I didn’t want to fall down that pit and never get it back.”

“So you checked into rehab under the guise of an alcohol addiction?” I couldn’t look at him any longer. I’d been heartbroken when I found out that my relationship with Greg had all been a lie, but never once had I thought to turn to drugs. Would I have tried it if I found it in my bathroom and wondered what all the hype was about? Doubtful, but in a strange way, I understood.

“After losing a big movie role, Catherine thought it was best.”

“Catherine knows?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about Catherine knowing. I understood it wasn’t her place to tell me, but damn, I couldn’t wrap my head around all of this.

“She’s the only one who does know. Well, did know until now,” he confessed.

“What are you going to do about Poppy’s story?”

“I haven’t thought about it. You and Alex are more important. I need to make this right with the two of you first–if that’s even possible.”

“Help me sit up,” I ordered.

Jenner pulled me up with so much gentleness that it brought tears to my eyes. Twisting on the bed, I let my eyes roam over him. His feet hung off the bed, and his long, tanned legs splayed out, while his arms hung at his sides. That wasn’t what made my breath catch in my chest. It was how every feature of his face drooped with sadness.

“I think you should call her and figure things out even though I’m sure she’s already on it.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He got off the bed and came around to my side. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to my forehead. He left them there as he muttered, “I’m sorry I fucked up. Again. I’m going to go outside and give you some space. If you need me, I’ll have my phone.”

He spun it in his hand as he walked out of the room. The swagger he usually held in his steps was gone.

Why did I feel like I’d broken him, broken us, when he’d been the one with the secret?

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jenner

I felt like a creepy stalker as I sat there and stared at Abbi from across the yard. Her head was tipped back and backlit by the fireworks show Luke and Alex’s neighborhood was putting on for everyone. She hadn’t spoken a word to me unless her brother was in the room since I told everyone the truth about Poppy’s accusations.

Catherine was already on it by the time I talked to her, but that didn’t matter. I’d done irreparable damage to my relationship with both Abbi and Alex. They looked at me with deep pain in their eyes every time they looked my way. If there was a good thing to come of this, it would be that it had made Alex and Abbi bond over how much I’d hurt them.

Movement to my right and left caught my attention, but I paid it no mind. Instead, I kept my stare directed at the one person I wanted to look at me.

“Is she still not talking to you?” A deep rumbling voice that belonged to Jax Stone sounded from my right.

“He’s getting the cold shoulder from both Alex and Abbi,” Luke sounded off at my back.

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