Page 39 of The Bosun

When I was done, I looked to my side where Scout stood. “Is it that far of a stretch that O’s gone mental?”

We both laughed at that, causing everyone’s eyes to drift over to us and then away as quickly as they came.

“Maybe you should go back, and we’ll radio you when we’re ready to leave. Write Stella a note explaining the circumstances and leave it in her room. Because if the Captain sees how they’re all trying to avoid you, he’s going to start asking questions.”

Scout was right. It would be bad if the Captain thought I was making the guests uncomfortable. I think in his eyes that would be worse than sleeping with a guest.

“I think I’m going to take you up on that. It’s not like I’m needed here. I did what I came to do.” I stepped away and started in the direction of the water.

“Remy,” Scout called after me. When I turned around, he was right there. His voice was only a whisper on the breeze. “Are you going to try and make it better?”

Nodding, I backed away. “I’m going to do my best.”

As I walked to the boat, I could feel eyes on me, but I didn’t turn back. I didn’t want to see them look away again. Especially Stella.

Once I was back on Seas the Day, I went to my room, trying to find a piece of paper and pen with no luck. I knew Dean would have something since he was always making lists for food orders and menus.

Dean was cleaning up his kitchen when I stepped inside. He always kept it clean enough you could eat off the floors if you had to.

He must have heard me walk in because he didn’t turn around to greet me. “Hey, what are you doing back?”

“First of all, how did you know it was me?”

He shrugged as he kept cleaning. “Who else would it be? Plus, you walk like a ten-ton elephant when you’re distracted.”

“A ten-ton elephant, huh?” I came to stand on the other side of the counter from him. “Can I borrow your notebook and pen?”

That caused him to halt his movements. “Why?” he asked slowly.

“I need a piece of paper and a pen to write a note, and I knew you’d have some.”

Moving out of the kitchen, Dean went into a little storage area and came out with a legal notepad and a pen. “Here,” he thrust them at me. “Now leave me be. You know I can’t concentrate on anything else until my space is clean.”

I did know that. Dean would freak out if I left even a sock on the floor in our room. I would make sure to never room with him again after I found everything of mine rearranged because Dean stated it was all wrong. Why he was looking in the drawer under my bed, I’ll never know, but I didn’t like people going through my things. Not that anyone did, but we had so little we could bring with us, and he’d gone through all of it. Dean didn’t have OCD or anything like that, so I was betting he was trying to find out more information about me and had gone through all my belongings and then didn’t know the order I had them. I was a tidy motherfucker after being in the military, so I knew my shit wasn’t messy.

“I’ll be downstairs in the crew kitchen until I have to go pick them up.” I wasn’t sure why I told him where I’d be, except in the hope he’d leave me alone to write my note. A note where I had no idea what to say. Who was to say Stella would believe me after she read it?

I stared at the paper in front of me, trying to come up with what to say and knowing that my time was limited. I wasn’t trying to be a poet or write a sweet love note. Putting the pen to paper, I started to say my truth.

Stella,

I know you don’t want to hear from me, but please don’t throw this away until you’ve read it through.

While I don’t know everything Ophelia told you about her and me, what I do know is we’ve never been in a relationship. Not for one single day. I was having a bad day, got drunk, and wasn’t thinking straight when I slept with her. It was only that one time. I promise you. Has she offered it again? Yes, many times, and I always turn her down. Nothing could make me have sex with her again.

I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to leave and think I’m a cheater or a liar. I’m neither, and I couldn’t bear to think of you leaving here having that impression of me.

Our night together was special. You’re the first and only guest I plan to ever have sex with. I only wish we’d had more time, but maybe that’s for the better. I already can’t imagine not seeing your beautiful face on this boat every day, and I know it would only be harder the closer we got.

I wish you all the best once you get back to California and start your new life. You’re a wonderful person who deserves the best. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

All the best,

Remy St. James

Folding up the note,I went back up to the kitchen to find Dean leaning back against the counter, gulping down a bottle of water. He set it down when he saw me come in.

“Did you get your letter written?”

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