Page 45 of Until Delilah

I have a feeling I said something wrong. I thought she’d be happy with my commitment.

“Sure. I’ll clean up everything and be up in a few minutes.” I want to ask her what I’ve done wrong, but she’s up and inside before I can say a word.

By the time I’m upstairs five minutes later, she’s fallen asleep with her body at the edge of the bed with the covers up to her chin. I slide into bed and pull her against me until her back is to my chest.

I should have told her I loved her. I should have said I want to marry her. Instead, I realize I sounded like I don’t believe in us.

18

Delilah

I’mglad today is the last game for Beck’s Little League. This week I popped. One day you couldn’t tell I was pregnant and the next BAM! Everything is happening so quickly. I’m showing and I’m uncomfortable as hell sitting in these bleachers as I cheer the team on in their last game of the season.

I should have brought some sort of cushion to sit on, but I had no idea I’d be miserable sitting here. For the last two months, I’ve been to almost every game without a problem. So of course, it has to be now when my sister is visiting, my parents are here, and all the moms are looking and whispering that I can’t sit still for the life of me.

Standing, I stretch and start to make my way down the bleachers when I spot Ava following. I don’t wait for her. I want to get away from prying ears before we talk.

Once on the grass, I move to the fence that separates the viewers from the field and clasp onto the metal fence.

Ava bumps her hip with mine. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just trying to get comfortable. Today the bleachers aren’t doing me any favors.” I wrap my arm around her waist and lean my head on her shoulder. Ava got my dad’s height. Where I’m five-foot-two, she’s standing tall at five-foot-eleven. She’s willowy and gorgeous. I’m surprised she hasn’t been hit up to be a model yet.

“How are you?” I ask her.

“Happy to graduate and be done with school, but now I’ve got to get a real job and be an adult.” She looks at me with a fake frown on her face that makes me laugh.

Pulling away I take her hand in mine wanting her to see the sincerity on my face. “You’ll do great with whatever you decide to do. I know it. Thanks for coming for Beck’s last game. I know he’s excited you’re here.”

“I wish I could have come sooner, but school was kicking my ass. At least mom and dad have been here to see most of his games. I can’t believe they bought a place here,” she says quietly as if they’ll hear her from the stands. “But I bet you’ve been enjoying the nights Beck has a sleepover there, huh?”

I look at Max and sigh. It comes out sounding so dreamy it makes me laugh. Never did I think I’d be in love the way I am with Max. I still haven’t told him. With my hormones being all over the place lately, I want those three words to come out at the right time and not because my hormones dictate when I say them. I’m also second guessing myself after he mentioned we might not work out in the long run.

At least my kids will have a father.

Max is an honorable man, and I know he’ll never let down Beck or the baby. Maybe he’s pulling back after I’ve been hesitant.

“You’ve got it bad, big sister,” Ava laughs.

“I know I do. When I left Bradley, I never thought my life would become this.” I indicate the field, Max, and his family with us in the stands.

“As awful as your time with Bradley was, I think it was to prepare you for the wonderfulness that you were about to receive. You deserve to be happy. You and Jacob never had a chance to fall in love, and maybe that’s why you settled for that asshole, Bradley. I don’t know, but this right here is where you’re meant to be.”

I think so too.

I give her a side hug. “How did you get to be so smart?”

“I’ve always been smart; you just never realized it until now.” She laughs, hugging me back.

“I’m sorry I’ve been MIA from your life these last few years. I know I can’t make up for the time that’s passed, but I’m going to do better.” I’ve missed my mom, dad, and Ava so much, and it tears me apart inside knowing I should have stood up for myself and demanded they be in my life instead of hiding what was going on with Bradley. It happened so slowly I didn’t realize it until it was too late, and I’d isolated myself so completely I couldn’t see the light if it was right in front of my face.

“We missed the hell out of the both of you, but now that we know what was happening, we understand why you did what you did.”

That still doesn’t make it any easier.

Max yells for Trey to run to another base with his hands cupped to his mouth. The way his muscles move with that action alone has me rubbing my thighs together in anticipation of what he’ll do to me later tonight.

With my parents and Ava in town, Beck is spending the next two nights with them before they head back to California. Mom and dad have work, and Ava will be searching for her first job and is thinking of moving into an apartment with Birdie, her best friend.