Page 16 of Chance Encounter

“Good,” he opens a cabinet and points inside. “If you want some chips, they’re in there.”

I expect for him to walk away—or hobble away, I guess—but instead, Maddox rests his ass on the edge of the counter and shoves his lunch in his mouth.

Unwilling to leave, I lean on the counter a few feet away. There’s nothing but silence as we stand and watch each other. It’s awkward as fuck, but I have a feeling this is the norm for him.

Maddox finishes off his food like he hasn’t eaten in a week and clears his throat. “I can feel how bored you are already from here. I’ll try not to be a shitty host.” His eyes flick up to mine. “Even though I didn’t expect a guest.”

“Neither did I, but I made do.”

“That you did, and that’s why I’m trying. I’ll warn you now that my couch isn’t nearly as comfortable as yours.”

“Duly noted.” Wanting to get him out of this strange funk he’s in, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “How about we talk about the guys we’ve slept with in this town?”

“Easy,” he says, jaw tight. “None.”

“What?” I sputter. “How is that possible?”

“Because it’s a small town, and I don’t know anyone else who’s gay. There’s no way in hell I’d hit on someone, and then the whole town finds out about it. How many have you slept with?”

“Two,” I shrug. “I wouldn’t say they’re gay per se, but more like curious, or they don’t have many options.”

He nods like what I said makes sense, but he doesn’t speak for a long moment. “What you said before about them not thinking I’m a freak.”

“I never said you weren’t a freak because you are,” I laugh, but when I see he isn’t joking, I sober. “You’re not a freak, and they don’t look at you any differently than they do anyone else. The town of Polar Bear doesn’t care that you’re gay.” He cocks his head with one eyebrow up. “Okay, the vast majority of the community could care less. There are always assholes, but you should pay them no mind.”

“Easier said than done.” Mad looks over his shoulder and then back to me. His fingers twitch at his sides. “Are you telling me you don’t find it difficult to live in Polar Bear as a gay man?”

I’m not expecting that question from his mouth. If he wants to talk about our love for men, here is not the place. I want it to be in a relaxed environment even though I normally can’t stand the man. “Can we sit down to have this conversation? This isn’t something for the kitchen.”

Mad doesn’t answer me. Instead, he shuffles off to sit on the couch in the living room with his legs outstretched on the cushions. “How about here?”

“Works for me,” I answer as I lower myself into a broken recliner across from him. When I look up, he’s staring at me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve yet to answer his question or if it’s because I’m in his space.

“I don’t find it difficult for the same reason you do. Well, I’m sure you find it frustrating that itseemslike we are the only gay men in town, but your problem stems from somewhere else.” He nods but doesn’t say anything. “I can’t say how many know I’m gay, but I don’t hide it. For those that don’t like it, tough shit. I don’t have space in my life for negativity or for people who are narrow-minded in their beliefs.”

“How did you get that mindset?” He asks quietly.

“My parents, I guess,” I shrug. “They have an open mind about everyone and everything.”

Looking away, his shoulders slump forward. “I don’t know what that’s like.”

How is the man sitting before me, who used to be so good at everything, so out of tune with reality? I thought he had everything.

“This is my opinion, and it might be wrong, but I think a great deal of your reservations stem from your family not accepting who you are. If you give everyone else a chance, they’ll show you they accept you for who you are.”

His gaze snaps to mine. “Why are you being nice to me?”

This is a complete one-eighty from the way I normally am with him—or was. I can’t remember the last time we had any type of conversation. “Because I’d hate to be in your shoes. I’m not ashamed of my sexuality, and you shouldn’t be either.”

“Easier said than done. You’re the first person I’ve known longer than a night who makes me feel like I’m normal.” He blows out a breath and looks to the ceiling. “When I kissed you, and you pushed me away, that was my first time kissing a boy. I can’t describe the way it made me feel. I thought everything I felt was wrong, and then when you outed me at the party, I wasn’t prepared for the whole town to see the video of it. It was a very dark time in my life. Because I was a teenage boy, I felt like everything in the world was taken away from me. I was the outcast after everyone loving me. It wasn’t something I was used to.”

Damn, now I feel bad for outing him, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.

“Fuck, I can’t do this right now,” he stands with his crutches. He’s moving down the hall as he speaks. “I’m going to see if G has Netflix and can hook you up.”

It’s not like this is easy for me either. It’s hard to get over a hate spanning over twenty years, but for the sake of the lost gay boy inside of Maddox, I’m trying to push past all the emotions I’ve felt for two decades and consider how he felt after learning all this new information.

7

---