Page 70 of Twins for the Enemy

“It’s necessary for you and your team to be half-decent at your jobs,” I snap. “What the fuck is going on? I wouldn’t have chosen your team if you weren’t supposed to be the best in the state.”

In the reflection of the window, I can see that I look like a mad scientist. My hair is spiked up from sweat, my jaw clenched, and my eyes unnaturally wide. My tie hangs so loosely from my neck, it’s readyto slip off. I know I should be a calming presence for Farah, but seeing her in pain is like walking into the sun.

“Breathe, Kieran,” Farah says through gritted teeth. She tries to smile, but the tension around her mouth only makes me hold her hand tighter. Her nails dig into the back of my hand.

I kiss her cheek. “I’m supposed to be saying that to you.”

I’d bought her silk pajamas for today, and it sticks to her skin. I peel the material away from her chest, but it wilts back to where it was.

“Mr. Ragdon,” Dr. Carrington starts.

“You need to give her better medications,” I demand.

“Sir, she elected to not go with the epidural—”

“Kieran.” Farah reaches up, touching my cheek. “This is how I want it. I’m okay. I promise.”

“Do you need anything?” I ask, my voice tight with urgency. “Another blanket? Silk or cashmere? I can roll one into a pillow if you want. We can changethe playlist—maybe jazz was a terrible idea. Should I put on The Weeknd? Lana Del Rey? Something you actually like?”

“I just need you to be here and not get kicked out of the room for being an asshole to everyone,” she says.

“I’m not trying to stress you out,” I say, running my fingers through her hair. “I just hate to see you this way. I need to—I don’t like being unable to do anything. Do you remember our time in Saint Barthélemy? The heat of the water and the waves. The water was so clear and you were so happy. I wish we were there.”

“It was a great vacation,” she agrees. “But I think the difference between then and now is that we end up with two babies after this.”

“We could go back and make even more. Three or four.”

“Ugh. Not my favorite thought right now.”

Her hairline is sweat-stained, redness splotching her skin, and her lips pale, but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

She’s everything good—like morning light made into a woman. I spent so long trying to protect her without getting in the way, but the anxiety in this hospital has me falling back into old habits. I feel like I’m casting a shadow over her again.

“You ready, Farah?” Dr. Carrington asks. “It’s just some pushing and you’ll get to meet your son and daughter.”

“I’m ready,” she says, looking at me. She grasps my hand, her fingertips pressing so hard into the back of my hand that the skin turns white under her grip.

I’d let her break both of my hands if it would take away an ounce of her pain. But since it’s not an option, I press a kiss on her knuckles. I give myself to her, knowing that when this is over, we’ll have two more sunbeams to bring in the new day.

I get why they call it labor—and a miracle worker.

I’ve never heard so much swearing—and only 70% of it was from me.

Farah and I have a private conference with each other through the bars of her hospital bed, gritted teeth and on the brink of sanity as we convince each other the pain is worth it.

Olivia is born first, coming relatively quickly and crying out with lungs so strong that everything else is drowned out. When she’s handed to me, it’s the feeling that my heart was taken out of my chest and put inside this tiny, adorable baby. It’s my heart becoming reborn too.

Her twin is more reluctant to enter the new stage of his life.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have named him Neal,” I tease. Farah tugs on my tie, and it finally comes loose, falling on her abdomen.

“You agreed to the name,” she accuses.

“I still do,” I say. Neal and I have a long road to making peace, but I hope someday we can call eachother friends. He was her protector when she needed one—and if Farah wanted to name our son after him, that felt right to me. She leans into it as I kiss her forehead. Our arms wrap around each other, with our hands knotting together as Neal finally enters the world.

As I hold him, I let out a slow breath. The world settles under my feet, and I know this is all I’ll ever need.

I kiss Farah. Our daughter nuzzles against her chest while my son sinks deeper into my arms. I know that my anxiety will return and I’ll find every way to protect my family, but for now, I let their radiance take ownership of me. I let my shadow fade away in their glow.

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