Page 87 of Faded Rhythm

Happy to be useful, Rae makes a beeline for Julian, leaving me and Kelice to the dishes.

After, we gather in the guest room in pajamas. Rae is cycling through the books on my kindle when Julian pokes his head in.

“Goodnight, ladies. See y’all in the morning.”

“Nooooo!” Kelice whines. “Can you read us a story?”

“Me?” Julian’s confusion is so cute. He takes a step into the room, raising his eyebrows at me.

“It’s fine,” I say, and the girls cheer.

He flops down on the other twin bed, and I watch as the girls curl up beside him, one under each arm. I feel warmed seeing the way he softens for them. He starts reading, changing voices for each character, and I find myself just as engrossed as the girls. Rae giggles. Kelice rests her head on his shoulder. And they both look like they feel completely…safe.

And I feel grateful.

After kisses goodnight, I tell the girls I’ll be back later, shutting the door behind me. As soon as it clicks shut, Julian presses me against the wall, our lips meeting with no hesitation. It’s slow and deep and hungry, and not just with lust. There’s need. Desperation. An ache that needs to be soothed.

We kiss our way down the hall, falling through his bedroom door and onto the sheets.

We make love twice, then we lay tangled together afterward, skin on skin, heartbeats in sync. His fingertips trace idle circles along my bare back.

“What do you need from the store tomorrow?” he says. “I’m gonna make a run.”

“I’ll text you later. I’m not in my right mind at the moment.”

He chuckles at that. “Dick knocked something loose, huh?”

I swat at him, missing by a mile. “Stop.”

He kisses my forehead. “I’m thinking about going fishing tomorrow. There’s a lake out there at the edge of the property.” He strokes a finger down my arm. “I get catfish out of there and fry ‘em up. That’s my favorite meal, lowkey.”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “I’m a simple man.”

That gets my wheels turning.

“You never did tell me,” he says.

“Tell you what?”

“How you know you’re in love.”

I shift, propping myself on my elbow so I can stare at his face. “It’s hard to explain.” I put my hand on his abs. “You feel the butterflies, for sure. But it’s also…wanting to be near them every minute of the day. Missing them the moment they leave the room. Not wanting the night to end, even when you’re dead tired.”

I smile.

“Crying with them when they’re hurting. Smiling when they smile. It’s basking in their light…” I trail a finger up his stomach to his chest, tracing the raised edges of his scars. “And not running away from their darkness.”

He nods slowly, his eyes softening as he gazes up at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that. Not really.”

He goes quiet, his eyes drifting up to the ceiling. I wait, letting the silence stretch until he speaks again.

“I didn’t tell you everything before. About the woman.”

My heart drops. “Okay…”

He takes a deep breath, placing his hand on top of mine on his chest. I can see the pain from the memory etched across his face. I’ve felt that pain. I still do.

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