Page 21 of Stolen Vows

He kisses me again, seemingly without so much as a second thought, and I can taste my own wetness smeared all over his face. It’s a shocking sensation, but one that I am utterly obsessed with, the reminder of where he’s just been, of how much he wants me, how much he wants this. He moves against me once more, and I can feel the hardness of his cock pressing into me, a promise of how much more he wants, how much more he is willing to take.

"Fuck," he growls against my mouth, as his hand slips down to his cock. He unzips his pants quickly and pulls himself into his hand, and I steal a glance at his erection.

The sight of it twists my stomach. He is big. And I have never been with anyone before, and I am suddenly so distinctly aware of that fact, I don’t know what to do with it. He pauses as soon as he sees the look on my face, his brow furrowing.

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing," I breathe, and I interlace my fingers around the back of his neck.

I don’t want this to stop.

A million thoughts are rushing through my head right now. There's physical desire, yes, but there’s something more than that, too. The thought that, if I give myself to him like this, then I will have ruined myself for other men. I will have made it impossible for my father to marry me off to Mario, because I will already be tainted by an enemy of his. And I know that’s not exactly the best reason to lose your virginity, but the man before me is willing and gorgeous and...

And then, he steps back from me. He zips his pants up against, pushing my hands away, even as I try to reach for him.

"What are you doing?" I ask him, my voice sounding more pleading than I intended it to. He shakes his head.

"You’ve never done this before, have you?”

"Does it matter?”

"Of course it fucking matters!”

The sharpness in his tone catches me off guard. I can tell that he’s doing everything he can to control himself, that he wants this as badly as I do, but he is not willing to be the one to take my virginity. Not like this.

"I want this," I plead with him. "I— I want you. Please, I?—"

"No," he replies, shaking his head, drawing his gaze away from me. "I can’t do this. I should never have let it get this far in the first place. Fuck, Cara..."

"Look at me," I breathe to him, and I try to reach out and catch his face again, but before I can so much as make contact with him, he has pulled back from me, putting distance between us as though he can’t stand the thought of what he’s just done.

"No," he mutters, his voice hollow. "I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have done any of this. Shit..."

He paces, his eyes pinned to the floor. I can still see a smear of my wetness across his lips, and the reminder of where he has just been is almost painful. I want him back here; I want him wanting me the way he did before. I need to feel that desire coming off of him in waves. I need all of it, more than I can put into words. But he won’t give it to me. This man might have kidnapped me, might have hunted me through the woods like prey, but he will not take my virginity, not under these circumstances.

Good to know that he has some kind of rules for himself. I just wish they didn’t apply here, now, when all I want is to feel him inside me. I can still remember, all too well, the terror of knowing that I was going to have to give myself to Mario, and how far removed this is from that. It might be a mess, but I need him, and the thought of him running from me before we get a chance twists deep into my guts.

I catch his hand and pull him against me once more, hooking my legs around him, trying to kiss him once more.

"Please, I want to do this with you," I beg him. "I don’t want my first time to be with someone like Mario, I?—"

"And I don’t want to fuck you just because I’m the lesser of two evils," he growls at me, pulling back at once. "That’s not how this works. You understand?”

There is something close to an answer in his voice. I’m not sure if he is really mad at me, or at himself, or some combination of the two, but the fire of his emotion is so intense that it silences me at once. I watch as he steps back from me, still hardly able to bring himself to look at me, as though the very thought of it is enough to drive him to something he knows he shouldn’t want.

And, with that, he turns away and stalks towards his room, leaving me there on the kitchen counter. I hitch up my sweatpants and stare at the spot where he was just standing, wondering how I have gone from such pleasure to such pain in such a short amount of time. Just a few minutes ago, he had his tongue between my legs, pushing me to the point of no return in a way nobody ever has before, and now, he has left me, turned his back on me as though my virginity has painted me as damaged goods.

I make my way back to my room. I know I should try to run once more, but I can’t even think about facing the outside world right now.

And besides, the thought of putting that much distance between us, when all I really want is his closeness, is too impossibly painful to contend with.

I pull the bedroom door shut behind me, close my eyes, and crash down onto the bed, letting out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

This couldn’t possibly get any more complicated…

11

Max

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