Page 51 of Dominion

I wished to be back at the house, cocooned between Dylan and Ash—content and happy—but I promised I wouldn’t run anymore. No matter how many times Ash said that I didn’t have to come with them, I could see through the facade he’d been trying to portray. I was more familiar with pain than many other people, and while it wasn’t something to brag about, it sure did help in situations like these when the man I loved tried shutting me out.

We’d already been down this road, where the three of us didn’t talk, avoiding each other, and walking on eggshells. I wasn’t doing it again.

Ash was walking in front of us, his back rigid, his entire posture screaming to leave him alone, but one look at Dylanwho was walking next to me and the worried look on his face had me increasing my pace and reaching Ash within seconds. He was lost in his own world, somewhere deep in his thoughts and it wasn’t until I wrapped my hand around his, squeezing softly, that he turned to look at me.

“Moonshine,” he murmured, trying to sound cheerful, but I could see the torment from a mile away. Didn’t he know that he didn’t have to hide from me? I understood raw anger and the sadness that came with it, when you realized that the people who were the closest to you were actually the ones hurting you the most. “Are you tired?” This was his usual M.O.—deflecting. Trying to talk about something else, anything, really, but the fact that we were marching toward the building where Neal, his uncle, was supposedly hiding.

Casimir said he would meet us in front of the building we were approaching, but I had yet to see him.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay,” I mumbled. “But I want you to know that I’m here. Dylan is here. You don’t have to do this alone.”

A shudder rocked through him, and if I weren’t practically pressed against him, I would’ve missed it. His eyes darkened, the tick in his cheek becoming prominent, and I knew he was close to his breaking point.

The chill that ran down my spine had nothing to do with the chilly November air, but everything to do with the coldness and detachment living in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have come,” he said, trying to push me away. But I was an expert at the game of pushing people away when I needed them the most, and Ash wasn’t going to succeed.

“Nuh-uh, buddy.” My hold on him tightened, and just as we reached the sidewalk, Dylan joined us, wrapping his arm around Ash’s shoulders. If looks could kill, both of us would’ve been dead.

I understood that he didn’t want us to see him this way, but I wanted all of him. Not just the pretty pieces he reserved only for us. I wanted the ugly parts, the sad and broken shards of his soul, and I wanted to be there for him. For both of them.

Love wasn’t always pretty. More often than not, it left more scars than happiness in its wake, but it was worth fighting for. Love could destroy you and leave you shattered in pieces, but it could also mend the broken parts of your soul if you knew how to wield it.

“Ash,” I grumbled, a warning evident in my voice. “We. Are. Not. Leaving. You. Alone.” My feet hit the pavement, and I turned my body to face him and Dylan. “So you can stop the whole woe-is-me charade, and actually talk to us.”

From the moment we boarded the private plane Casimir had arranged for us, we’d been arguing. Ash didn’t want us to come and neither Dylan nor I would listen. And so it went, a thousand reasons why it was a bad idea for us to go, yet none of those reasons seemed sufficient enough for me. None of those reasons made us stay, and in return, we got a grumpy Ash who decided not to talk to us the rest of the morning.

“Well,” he chuckled sadly, “maybe you should’ve left, Sky. Because I’m not going to be the kind of person who?—”

“Who what?” I arched my eyebrow, arms crossed over my chest as I stared at him. “You’re not going to be a happy-go-lucky person once you see that fucker? Is that it? You’re worried I’m going to want you less if you show me all the ugly parts of you?”

The frown that washed over his face, permanently etching itself between his brows, told me I was right.

“Listen.” I stepped closer. “I’m not in this just so that we can bring Judah to justice and walk away. Are you?”

He straightened up as if I had slapped him. “Hell no.”

“Then why are you behaving as if it’s only normal for us to need you, but it isn’t normal for you to need us?”

His head bent backward, his face upturned toward the gray sky, while his hands went to his hips. Ash’s chest expanded slowly, before a rushed exhale tumbled out and those viridian green eyes that would forever remind me of the forests around Winworth landed on me.

“Because I don’t know how,” he said softly. “Because I’m used to other people needing me. I don’t know how to ask for help. I… There are things that you don’t know. There are things I’m ashamed of—things I had to do because I thought it was right. I don’t want to see the pity in your eyes, Skylar.” He looked at Dylan then. “I don’t want you to think I’m weak for doing those things.”

“Do you think I’m weak for following my father’s orders all those years?” Dylan suddenly asked, and I fucking wished for a time machine so I could erase all those years and start anew.

“You were just a child,” Ash answered, shock lacing his words. “It’s not the same.”

“It’s exactly the same. I wasn’t a child two months ago when I destroyed so many lives, was I?”

“Well, no.”

“But you still accepted me. Or are you trying to tell me that deep inside, you think I’m weak or that I’m a monster?”

There was a moment of silence between us, filled with the cacophony of noises coming from the street. I waited with bated breath to hear what he was going to say.

“Dylan, I don’t think you’re a monster. I did before I got to know you. I wanted you gone because… Well, because of a lot of reasons. But you’re not a monster. And you’re not the only one who is capable of killing innocent people.”

“Right.” Dylan nodded. “Then why do you think that you’re not going to get the same treatment as I did if we find out all those dirty parts of your past?”

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