Page 76 of Dominion

I was a scared little boy, still doing his father’s bidding, even though I knew it was wrong. I stained my soul just for an ounce of love from my parents, and yet I never received any. Those two wouldn’t know what love was even if it hit them on their heads.

They knew how to possess people, how to make them scared, how to destroy their innocence, but they had no idea what love was. I was a foolish love-starved boy who thought the scars they left me with were just the marks of their love.

They weren’t—not even close.

But I couldn’t be a coward anymore, even though I was pretty sure that’s what Skylar and Ash thought of me right now. Just thinking of them made me breathless. My lungs refused to intake the much-needed oxygen I needed to go through this, to continue walking toward my childhood home, where Judah told me to meet him.

The first time I called him, he fucking cackled, telling me that he knew I would crawl back to him. The second time... The second time I had conditions which he didn’t like, but he couldn’t say no. We both knew he needed me more than I needed him, and I was glad to play into the whole charade of happy little family and going back to my roots.

I was happy to lie to his fucking face because I knew that by the end of this, he would be ten feet underneath the ground and I’d be able to live life as I always was supposed to.

Far fucking away from him and my sick mother.

The gravel underneath my feet crunched with every step I took, the cold air of November only amplified my resolution to get the fuck away from them as soon as possible. Just as I was about to step onto the porch, the door opened, revealing the man I hated more than anything else in my life.

I hated how much I resembled him. I used to take it with pride whenever people would tell me that I looked just like my father, but years and his actions had proven that I shouldn’t be proud of that fact. I shouldn’t be proud to call him my father, and I wasn’t.

Not anymore.

Judah Blackwood looked worse for the wear, and I fought off the smirk that was threatening to spill onto my face when I realized that he wasn’t as well-groomed as he used to be. He was missing from Winworth for the last three weeks, and I wondered where he had been all that time. City Hall was still in ruins, the Order in shambles, but he was gallivanting around the world, not giving a fuck that he had destroyed so many lives.

The urge to kill him here and now rocked through my body, but I had to buy them more time. I had to get everyone to safety before we could do anything. Casimir promised he would be able to lock him up for good, and I knew the location of every single document in this house.

My father thought I was a fool, that I wouldn’t have a backup plan in case everything went to shit, but the only fool here was him.

I couldn’t kill him, that was one promise I had to make when I spoke to Casimir. I couldn’t fucking kill him even if I wanted to rip out his throat with my teeth.

“Son.” He was the first one to speak, opening the door wider. “It is good to see you.”

“You too.” I let the lie roll off of my tongue easily, after having to practice it for days in front of the mirror. I had to keep mycalm. I couldn’t let him suspect me in any way. “It’s good to be home.”

Home.

This fucking place never felt like home, and even less the arms of the man who made me. As I stepped closer into his open embrace, I pushed out a smile I didn’t feel and tapped him on his back, as if I was truly happy to be here.

The stench of the sins still lingered in the air, and I blamed myself for failing to notice it before. I would forever regret the things I had done, but I was also going to make everything right.

For Skylar.

For Ash.

For all those who were affected by the Blackwood family.

And for me.

I was as far from perfect as a person could get, but everyone had to start somewhere, right? I couldn’t change my past, but I could damn well affect my future. No one ever said that atonement was easy, or that forgiveness would come out of nowhere, but I could try. I had to fucking try if I wanted to feel worthy of Skylar and Ash.

Ash had spent his life trying to bring justice for the things that had happened. Skylar suffered because of me, because of my family, and being with them when I had nothing to offer didn’t sit well with me. It wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want them to look at me one day and realize that they never should’ve started anything.

I didn’t want them to regret being with me, because God knows I wouldn’t be able to stay away from them. I didn’t want us to wake up one day only for them to realize that they never should’ve forgiven the monster.

I knew they loved me. I knew I loved them more than I loved myself, but I also knew I had to forgive myself first before we went any further. I knew I wanted a fulfilled life, a little housesomewhere where nobody knew our names, and kids who looked like either one of us.

Judah moved away from me, smiling from ear to ear as if he’d won the lottery. I hid my hands behind my back, concealing the fists that were begging to connect with his face.

Stay fucking calm, Dylan. Stay calm, I told myself, keeping my smile on my face.

“It’s been tough without you here,” he said, as if he wasn’t the very reason why I wasn’t around. As if he wasn’t the one who had tortured Ash and me in that fucking manor, laughing the entire time. As if he wasn’t the reason why I still had nightmares and why I didn’t trust my own body. “But I’m glad to have you back.”

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